


Twisted Love

by Evilbunnygirl93



Category: Alice Nine, Miyavi (Musician), the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Onesided, Rape, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilbunnygirl93/pseuds/Evilbunnygirl93
Summary: Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships within the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?





	1. Chapter 1

            “So, how about it?” Uruha asked. Ruki looked at him biting his lip. “Come on, we only have a few minutes.”

Kai had called bathroom break earlier, so Reita and Aoi went out to smoke as the vocalist and lead guitarist stayed behind.

“I don’t know Uru,” The red head mumbled. “It seems really stupid.”

“What’s stupid about it? The first one to make Aoi fall for him gets _him_.”

“But what if _he_   thinks one of us is really going out with Aoi, and then Aoi will get hurt too. This is really stupid.”

“Come on Ru. We’ll tell him in the end that it wasn’t real and that we’re really sorry for it. Don’t worry, he won’t take it hard and he’ll forgive us. We’ll just tell him that we wanted to be sure of our sexuality.”

The red head sighed. “I don’t want him to hate us.”

“Her won’t. I promise!” Uruha reassured him. “Remember the prize if you get Aoi to ask you out.”

Ruki smiled and blushed. “Fine. How long do we each have?”

“Hmm…” The other thought. “A week each. I’ll give you the first week.”

“K.”

“Ok! Back to practice!” Kai shouted as he walked in with the other two behind him. Ruki and Uruha quickly got off the couch to get their stuff ready. Uruha looked back and winked at the shorter, only to get a nervous smile in return.  

 

~~Afterwards~~

 

            Ruki smiled as his band mates put away their instruments and one in particular caught his attention. He couldn’t help, but stare at the man he was truly, deeply in love with and unfortunately, so was Uruha.

“What are you thinking about?”

Ruki looked to the side to see their leader standing next him smiling. “Oh, um… nothing.”

“K, well, I’m going to head out.” Kai said. “See you guys tomorrow.”

“Yeah me too.” Reita said stretching. “See you later.”

Ruki watched as they left together, then turned to find Uruha smiling at him.

“Yeah I’m going too.” The honey blonde winked at the shorter, leaving him with the prey.

“S-so Aoi.”

“Hmm.” The guitarist was busy wiping his guitar off.

“Umm…y-you wanna, um…go get coffee?”

Aoi looked at him funny. “You don’t drink coffee.”

“Well…you do so why don’t we have some?”

“Maybe some other time.” The brunette mumbled, zipping his guitar case.

“Oh, ok. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”Ruki mumbled before walking out. Aoi sighed and felt bad because the younger looked depressed, so he ran to the door to see the red head halfway down the hall.

“Ruki!” Aoi shouted. The shorter turned around and looked. “Wait a minute.”

 

~~At the Café~~

 

            Girls giggled as the two handsome men sat down and gave their order to the waitress. They hadn’t said a word since they entered the café and Ruki was biting his lip, keeping his head down.

Aoi sighed. “So what’s up?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you ask me to come with you? Do you need to talk about something?”

Ruki blushed and smiled. “Well…you see, there’s someone I like.”

“Oh? Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Actually…”The red head mumbled. “It’s a guy.”

It got quiet. Ruki felt extremely uncomfortable. Had he made a mistake? He never heard Aoi saying he hated gays, or that he’s ok with them. Does the guitarist feel uncomfortable because his friend is gay?

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come.” Ruki mumbled.

“Uh, no. I’m sorry, that was really rude of me.” Aoi said. “I was just a bit…surprised. Well, who is it?”

“Um…I-I can’t tell you. I was hoping you could help me get his attention.”

 “I don’t how I can help. I don’t even know who it is.”

“I know, but I get so nervous around him and stuttered and I-I get flustered and I ramble and…”Ruki noticed Aoi smiling with his eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Nothing.”

Ruki went to say something, but was cut off when the waitress sat their drinks down. He decided to stay quiet so Aoi figured he would break the silence this time.

“Do I know him?”

Ruki bit his lip and shook his head.

“From where?”

The red sighed. “He’s…he’s in the band.”

Aoi eyes got wide.  “Oh? Tell me then.”

“N-no way!” Ruki’s face got red.

“I’ll keep it a secret I promise.”

The red head darted his eyes around. Should he tell Aoi the truth, or stay with the bet. ‘Decision, decision, I need a decision!’

“You ok?” The guitarist asked. Ruki opened his eyes and realized that he was practically pulling his own hair out.

“Uh…I’m fine, it’s just…” He sighed. “I don’t know.”

 Aoi reached over and rubbed the vocalist’s face. “I’ll tell you a secret.” He leaned over next to Ruki’s and whispered. “I also like someone in the band too.”

The red head gasped and blushed as Aoi pulled away with a smile. “Wh-who?”

The brunette laughed. “Tell me who you like and I’ll tell you.”

“We-well, h-he’s taller than me.”

“That’s everybody.”

Ruki glared at him, but continued. “He’s skinny, but strong.”

“Oh?” Aoi smiled.

“What about yours?”

The guitarist giggled. “Well, he’s thin. He has a goofy smile. He’s very sexy.”

“That doesn’t help much.” Ruki mumbled.

“Well, neither did yours.”

The singer huffed before sipping his tea, which made the other laugh.

 

~~At Kai’s~~

 

            The drummer slipped his shoes off and smiled at his guest.

“What do you want to drink?” Kai asked.

“Anything’s fine.” Reita mumbled as he stepped into the living room. Kai quickly made them some tea before sitting down next to his friend.

“So, what do you want to talk about today?”

Reita sighed. “Well, he seemed a bit different today.”

“Yeah I noticed it too.”

“I couldn’t stop staring at him again today.”The blonde mumbled.

Kai sighed. “You should tell him about how you feel.”

“But what if he rejects me? Then he might hate me for being gay and loving him.”

“Baka!” The leader yelled. “Nothing bad will happen. Besides, I doubt something like that will ruin your friendship.”

Reita sighed. “I’m just scared.”

“Wow.” Kai mumbled. “The world’s Reita, the daredevil bassist is scared of asking someone out.”

“This isn’t just somebody. This is the man I’ve loved since the day we’ve met. This is the guy who could brighten my shittiest day with just a smile. He’s the one that makes me happy to wake up every morning. This is Ruki we’re talking about here.”

The drummer smiled, knowing how much Reita loved their chibi vocalist. “Well, as your therapist and friend, I’m telling you that you need to tell him how you feel.”

“When should I do it then?”

“Hmm, how about tomorrow night we all go clubbing, and you can tell him then.”

“You’re not much of a romantic are you?” Reita asked.

The leader giggled. “Well, it’s more like we all need a good time and it just seems perfect. So how about it?”

The blonde sighed. “I guess. Just tell everyone.”

“Will do! Now, go home and think of how you’re going to tell him and ask him out.”

Reita smiled as he pulled his friend into a hug. “Thank you.”

 

~~The Next day~~

 

            “Ok!” Kai shouted as they finished their last song. “Now I hope nobody’s too tired.”

“Why?” Uruha asked.

“I’ve decided that we’re all going out and having fun. So go home, get ready, and we’re all meeting back here in an hour.”

“Eh…don’t we have a say in this?” Ruki asked.

Their leader glared him. “No, you don’t. Now as commander in chief—“

“Commander in chief?” The honey blonde mumbled.

“Shut up Uruha.” Kai said. “Now we meet back in an hour!”

The drummer skipped out with Reita right behind him, luckily they went down the elevator alone together.

“Kai.”

“Hmm?”

“Will you help me find something to wear?” Reita asked.

“You’re joking right?”

Reita gave him a sad look, which Kai gave into, so he followed the blonde home. When he got Reita an outfit of tight fitting, black pants, a black shirt with a silver tie and helped style his hair, Kai left to head home. When he walked up his steps, he found a familiar raven haired man standing outside his door.

“Hey Aoi.” The drummer caught his attention.

“Hey, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

Kai opened the door and let him in. “About what?”

“Well, I think…” He sighed. “This is going to sound weird, but I think Ruki likes me.”

Kai dropped his keys along with his jaw. “Wh-what? Why do you think that?”

“Well, yesterday we were talking and he said he liked someone in the band, well, he kept blushing around me. He kept jumbling with his words and when I asked him who it was, he got nervous, he blushed and he kept looking away. Common signs of a crush.”

“You would know those things.” Kai mumbled, picking his keys up. “Maybe it’s nothing.”

Aoi shrugged. “I don’t know. What if he does like me?”

The leader sighed. “I don’t know, I mean how would you feel about it?”

“Well,” The guitarist scratched his head. “Ok I guess. I don’t mind going out with him if he wants to.”

The drummer’s eyes went wide. “Do you like him?”

Aoi scratched the back of his head. “Well, I’m ok with dating him. I mean I don’t think the one like would even consider dating me. So yeah, I guess I kind of like him.”

“Oh dear.”

“What?” The guitarist asked.

“Um…nothing. Are you ready for tonight?”

“Yeah. What’s wrong? Do you think it’s gross for me to like Ruki?”

“No!” Kai shouted. “It’s just, I’ve been talking to someone who also likes Ruki.”

“Who?”

“I’m not telling. That wouldn’t be very nice.” The leader sighed. “I’ll meet you at the studio ok.”

“Alright.” Aoi said shrugging his shoulders. Kai watched as he left the apartment, then he let out an overwhelming gasp.

“Damn!” He shouted. “What have I done? Poor Rei. He’s going to be so heartbroken.”

Kai shook his head and quickly got ready.

 

~~The Studio~~

 

            Reita was first to arrive, so he began pacing, thinking of ways to tell Ruki how he felt about the singer. Uruha walked in and smiled at the nervous bassist.

“What are you doing?” The honey blonde scared him.

“Uh, n-nothing.” Reita mumbled, trying to hide his red face. Uruha sat down, still smiling at his friend.

“Tell me.”

The blonde sighed. “I’ve decided to tell Ruki that I like him.”

“What?” Uruha gasped.

“Uru, I just need to take this chance, ok.”

“I understand Rei, but,” The honey blonde looked away in sadness.

“But what?”

His friend sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I didn’t want to tell you, but Ruki…Ruki really likes Aoi. A lot.”

Reita gave a nervous smile. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“Well, we’ve been talking about it. Ruki has had a crush on Aoi for a long time now.” Uruha mumbled, but deep down he’s smiling. He’s known about Reita’s crush on Ruki, but he just didn’t want it to happen. “I didn’t want to tell you Rei, but I just…I don’t want to see him hurt you.”

The bassist felt his heart rip in two. He gasped at the feeling and tried to smile, but a tear fell. ‘This can’t be true.’ He thought. ‘It just can’t be. But, Uruha has never lied to me before. Oh god, why?’

He flinched when he felt a hand on his cheek. He blinked a few times before he saw Uruha standing there.

“I’m here for you Rei.” The honey blonde whispered, giving his friend a hug. The blonde hugged back and then Uruha pulled away to plant a kiss on the blonde’s cheek. Reita shook his head and pulled away.

“What are you doing?”

“Rei, I just,” Uruha bit his lip. “I’m sorry. I really like you. I really, really like you, since middle school. But I love your happiness more. I wish you the best of luck with Ruki.”

Reita shook his head and wiped his tears away. They stood in silence until Aoi walked in with a smile and sat down on the couch. He looked up to find Reita glaring at him.

“What?” He asked harshly.

Reita blinked and his face softened. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

Aoi shook his head and looked at Uruha, who seemed depressed. The atmosphere seemed tense, so Aoi just slipped into the couch, trying to hide himself in it. When he figured out it was impossible, he got up and stretched, then Kai walked in with a smile.

“We ready?” The drummer asked.

“Yeah, but we’re missing someone.” Uruha said happily.

“Yeah, where is our chibi vocalist?” Kai asked looking around.

“Don’t call me that!” Ruki shouted as he walked in. Reita froze when he saw the younger, standing there in skin tight pants, black, skin tight shirt, showing his chest off a little.

“Time to go!” Kai shouted.

They all followed him out and declared him the designated driver since he made them go out. So they all piled into his car then headed out.

            Before they knew it, they were inside a club looking for table big enough for the five of them. They sat down, ordered some drinks, and talked for a bit. Kai was sitting between Uruha and Reita, as Ruki and Aoi sat next to each other on the other side. They were all quiet so, Uruha kicked Ruki leg, making the red head flinch. They all looked at him funny which made him giggle and scratch his head.

He sighed, but smiled. “Let’s go dance.” He got up and pulled Aoi out of the booth, leading him to the dance floor. Reita and Kai watched with wide eyes as the younger did so. Ruki dragged the other deep into the crowd so the group couldn’t see them, unfortunately they found them again. The red head started dancing a little, then backed into his friend and Aoi grabbed the younger’s hips as they began grinding against each other. The guitarist rubbed his hand up Ruki’s side, up to his chest and started pinching the red head’s nipples. Ruki brought his arms around and wrapped them around Aoi’s neck as he pushed against him some more. Reita felt his blood boil at the sight. He stood up and rushed out of the club, but when he got outside a hand startled him. He turned to find that Uruha had grabbed his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” The honey blonde whispered.

Reita shook his head. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, it’s hard. I know that it way too soon, but what about me? I can make you happy.” Uruha pleaded with teary eyes.

Reita looked at the ground before pushing Uruha into the wall of the building. He gripped the honey blonde hair and pulled the guitarist into a kiss, which Uruha gladly kissed back. It was a heated kiss, Uruha pulled the other man’s head in deeper and fought for dominance. When they finally broke away, Reita stepped back and the guitarist smiled.

“Does this mean, you’ll go out with me?” The honey blonde asked. Reita rubbed the other’s cheek and pressed his body against Uruha’s. He lifted the honey blonde’s chin and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Yes.” He whispered before kissing his band mate again.

            After three songs, Aoi and Ruki decided to sit down and rest, but when they got there, they saw two of their friends gone.

“Where they go?” Ruki asked. Kai glared at him, but quickly put on a smile.

“I don’t know. I’ll be right back, I have use the bathroom and then I’m getting myself a drink.” Kai said getting up.

Ruki sighed and realized how close he was to Aoi, so he leaned on him. The raven haired man sighed. “Ruki, I can’t.”

“Huh?” The singer backed off a little.

Aoi looked down at him and smiled. “I’m sorry. I don’t like you that way. I shouldn’t have danced with you like that. I know you have a crush on me and all, but I can’t go out with you.”

Ruki smiled. “That’s ok.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you, it’s just my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Who?” The singer asked.

“Promise to keep it a secret?” Aoi asked.

“Promise.”

“I like Uruha.”

Ruki gasped. ‘What? _What?_ Seriously? Oh Uruha. Oh Aoi, jeez. He’ll be crushed if he found out that Uruha likes Reita.’

“I hope we can still be friends.” The guitarist said.

“Of course.” Ruki said with a smile.

 

~~The Next Day at practice.~~

 

            Ruki was the last one to walk in. He looked up to find Kai twirling a drumstick, Reita and Uruha sitting on the couch, and Aoi sitting in a chair.

“Sorry I’m late.” The singer said coming in.

“Let’s get started.” Kai said.

“Before that.” Uruha spoke and looked at Reita. “Can we tell them?”

“Tell us what?” Ruki asked walking in front of them.

“Sure.” The blonde said.

Uruha smiled and clapped his hands together. “Reita and I are dating.”

Kai dropped his drumstick, Aoi’s and Ruki’s eyes got wide. Both felt like someone stabbed them the heart and was twisting the knife around in it. Kai’s jaw could probably touch the floor, his eyes were as wide as the other two, then suddenly Aoi stood up and wrapped his arms around Ruki.

“I’m glad for you two. I guess we let out that we’re going out too. Huh Ruki?”

The vocalist was frozen in time. He was too shocked to respond to anything, not even their drummer falling off his stool.

“Eh?” Kai shouted as he sat up.

The red head blinked and looked at Uruha in the eye. Not once in his life has Ruki felt more betrayed than he does now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            After the sudden, and shocking, announcements of the couples, Ruki rushed to bathroom and started crying in one of the stalls. He heard the door open and tried to keep his sobs down, but he saw a familiar pair of shoes standing there.

“Ru?” Uruha whispered.

“L-leave me alone.” The red head mumbled. “Y-you tricked me.”

“I know. But you shouldn’t have liked him.”

At that moment, Ruki swung the stall door open, grabbed Uruha’s shirt and pushed him into the wall. _“I have every right to like him! To love him. I had a chance for him to like me. You took all that away from me.”_

The honey blonde grabbed Ruki’s shirt, turned and slammed the shorter into the wall. “You listen here. I’ve loved him since junior high and I had to suffer, watching him go on date after date. I finally have an opportunity to be with him and I’m not going to let you take it from me. I’ve known him longer, I’ve loved him longer, I deserve him! You just walked into his life and you think you can have him? You’re wrong. He asked _me_ out last night, not you. That’s why we were gone, we were making out after I said yes to him. He’ll never love you because he’ll always love me.”

He slammed Ruki into the wall again before letting go, then he walked out as the singer slid to the ground. He brought his knees to his chest and started crying again. The door opened up, but Ruki didn’t look up and suddenly, someone’s hand was on his shoulder. He looked up to find the singer of Alice Nine sitting by him with a sad smile.

“What’s wrong Ru?” The ashy blonde asked.

Ruki sniffled before pulling the other man into a hug and crying on his shoulder. Shou patted the younger’s back as he hugged back.

“Calm down.” Shou whispered. “Clean up yourself up ok. I’ll be right back and then we’re going to talk.”

Ruki sniffled, but shook his head and allowed the other to help him up. He walk to the sink and started wiping his eyes as Shou left the bathroom.

 

~~In the practice room.~~

 

            Reita and Aoi were shooting glares at each other, but made sure the other couldn’t see. Kai was looking between them and felt the deadly tension and saw the sparks when the two made eye contact. The drummer slowly pushed himself into the corner to avoid the deadly aroma between the two men, but the dark cloud was terrifying to the poor leader.

“Um…”He mumbled scratching his head. “S-so should we get started without them?”

The two men shot glares at the drummer that almost killed him. Their dark aroma’s were too much for the happy man and the drummer was wilting away from it. Uruha walked in to see a Kai on the verge of death in the corner of the room, he looked around and felt the deadly atmosphere the raven guitarist and the bassist were making. The honey blonde stood there looking at the two and saw how they glared at each other when the other wasn’t looking. He sighed as he sat by Reita and leaned on him. Kai, who was laying on the floor, looked over and saw fire in Aoi’s eyes. He gulped and gave a terrified giggle.

            Shou walked into the GazettE’s practice room and raised an eyebrow at the scene. Kai was laying beside his drum set, with his hands on his chest, holding a white flower as a little ghost floated above him. Aoi had his arms crossed, his face was full of anger and the window was cracking from the raven’s death glare. Reita’s expression was the same, except he was glaring at the ground, as if he wanted hell to open up right there so he could take it over with a glance. Uruha, on the other hand, seemed to be the only one in a good mood while he leaned on the bassist’s shoulder. Chills shot through Shou’s body, but he took a deep breath.

“Um…guys?”

Aoi and Reita looked up at each other and Shou knew he saw a lightning strike go between them, but they looked at the ashy blonde. Their expressions softened a little.

“My hero!” Kai yelled as he jumped back to life. Shou stepped to the side to avoid the drummer’s hug.

“Anyways, I need some help with my voice for a song. You don’t mind me borrowing Ruki for a bit do you?”

“Whatever.” Reita grumbled.

“It won’t be long will it?” Kai asked with pleading eyes.

“I’ll try to be quick.”

The drummer sighed. “I guess.”

“Thanks.” Shou said as he waved, but a few steps away, he heard a thump. He turned to see Kai back on the ground with the ghost above him and a large dark cloud forming in the room. He gulped and turned to start walking again. “And I thought we were weird.”

 

~~The Cafeteria~~

 

            Ruki had calmed down and walked with Shou to get something to drink. They sat down and Ruki explained everything to the other singer.

“Oh my.” Shou gasped. “Why don’t you tell Reita then?”

“He’s happy with Uruha.” Ruki mumbled, but then he smiled. “So I’m happy.”

“Nobody looked real happy a while ago.”

“Hmm. Well, Aoi does like Uruha.”

“So why did he say that you two were dating?”

The red head shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll ask him later. I just…I really wanted it to be me that Reita chose.”

“I’m sorry Ruki.” Shou mumbled.

“It’s ok. I’m fine as long as he’s happy, besides maybe it’s for the best. He and Uruha have known each other longer, so maybe it was meant to be.”

“The hardest part of a relationship is letting go.” The ashy blonde said with a smile. “You’re pretty strong.”

Ruki sighed. “I guess. I don’t want to let go, but I know have to, so I will. If I don’t, things might turn bad and who knows what might happen.”

The other shook his head. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.”

 

~~Ten minutes later~~

 

            Shou and Ruki had some small talk as they finished their drinks, then they headed back up. As they were walking down the hall though, they heard stomping so they looked a head and saw Nao walking to them with an angry expression.

“You!” The drummer shouted, pointing at Shou. “We were supposed to start practice half an hour ago!”

“S-sorry Nao.”Shou mumbled.

“I’m sorry Nao.” Ruki spoke up and looked at him with teary eyes. “I-it’s just, something bad happened and I needed someone to talk to and Shou was thereandimadehimstaywithmeandandand—”

“Ok, ok.” The drummer patted Ruki’s shoulder. “It’s ok, but I do need Shou now.”

Ruki shook his head and wiped his eyes. Shou walked passed him and the red head gave him a wink as he wiped the last of his fake tears. The ashy blonde mouthed a quick thank you before following his leader. Ruki laughed to himself and made his way to the practice. He gulped at the sight.

“Um…hey guys.”As soon as Ruki spoke, the black cloud disappeared, Kai came back to life and the two scowling men smiled. The singer let out a deep breath, but was suddenly tackled to the ground.

“My hero!” Kai shouted as he squeezed the vocalist. Ruki looked up at the other members with a questioning look, but they shrugged their shoulders.

“Um…Kai?”

The drummer looked up with a smile then jumped to his feet. “Let’s get started!”

Ruki giggled, then a hand was placed in front of him. He looked up to see Aoi with a warming smile, so he took the guitarist’s hand and got back to his feet.  They quickly got ready and got started.

 

~~Several hours later~~

 

            The vocalist plopped down on the couch after they finished. All five were drenched in sweat, and it seemed like it was getting worse. Uruha stumbled to the thermostat and started messing with it before giving out an aggravated moan.

“What?” Kai gasped.

“It’s broken!”

They all groaned.

“I say…” Reita started. “were done for today.”

“Yeah.” Ruki gasped. He sat up and grabbed his bag as everyone put their instruments away. He pulled out a thin, white shirt and sat it on the couch before raising the shirt off his body. Reita turned and saw the red head pulling his shirt off, showing his thin, delicate torso. The blonde felt himself getting hotter and his pants getting tighter.

“Hot?” Aoi asked with a smile.

Ruki blushed as he shook his head. The guitarist rubbed a towel on the vocalist’s face, wiping the sweat off and it pissed Reita off. The bassist quickly packed up and stormed out of the room without even saying goodbye.

“What’s wrong with him?” Ruki asked.

Kai sighed and shook his head as Uruha quickly finished up and ran after his boyfriend. Ruki felt that Kai was hiding something from him and he really wanted to know what it was, but the drummer seemed stressed for some reason. He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and he turned to find Aoi smiling softly at him.

“Let’s go eat, my treat.” Aoi said. Ruki smiled and shook his head, then put on his clean shirt before they headed out. Kai watched as the couple left and he felt his heart sank. He looked out at the setting sun and shook his head.

“Why is this happening to us?”

 

~~A restaurant~~

 

            The couple sat down and ordered some drinks. They stayed quiet, but Ruki was getting nervous at Aoi’s smile.

“Um…”The red head started. “I don’t want to start anything or make you mad or anything. Why did you suddenly say we were dating today? I thought you loved Uruha.”

The raven smiled. “I do, but I could never have him. You like me, so I should at least make you happy since I rejected you.”

“But you don’t love me.”

“You love me don’t you?”

“Yes.” Ruki said, but thought. ‘No!’

“Since I was your choice…”

‘No you weren’t! I love Reita!’

Aoi smiled. “I can start to love you. I already like you more than a friend, but not enough to be a lover…yet.”

Ruki blushed. ‘But I want Reita.’

“Are you ok?”

The red head looked up and then realized he was crying. He quickly wiped his face. “Sorry. I’m…just happy. Yes, I’m happy.”

“I’m glad. I hope you can also make me happy.” Aoi said lovingly.

“I hope I can too.” ‘I don’t want to make you happy! I want to make Reita happy!’ He thought.

“How about tomorrow night we go see a movie? Just the two of us.” The raven asked.

“I’d love that!” ‘I hate it!’

“Great. I’ll pick you up after practice and then afterwards we can go to a park or something.”

“Sounds great.” ‘I don’t want to see a movie with you, I don’t want to go to a park with you, I don’t want to date you!’ “Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” Ruki said. He quickly made his way there and checked to make sure nobody was in there, before he started crying.

_“Why?”_

 

~~At Kai’s~~

 

            The drummer opened his apartment door and saw his living room lights on.

“I guess I forgot to turn it off again.” He sighed and continued in, not noticing the extra presence at his dining table.

“Not even a hello?”

Kai yelped as he jumped back and grabbed his chest. “Damn it Miyavi! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?”

The ponytailed man laughed. “Come on Kai, you know you love it.”

“No I don’t and I don’t like it when you break into my apartment either.”

The guitarist smiled and patted his leg. “Come here.”

Kai rolled his eyes and walked past him to the kitchen, where started a pot of tea. Miyavi walked behind him and gave him a hug.

“I hate it when you ignore me.”

“Miyavi please.” Kai said pushing the other man away.

“Come on.” The soloist rubbed his hand down Kai’s side and grabbed the drummer’s waist.

“No!” The brunette pushed the other away. “I’m not your sex toy.”

Kai turned and placed his hands on the counter. Miyavi pressed up against him, gently wrapped his arms around the drummer’s chest and blew his hot breath on Kai’s neck. He licked it, making the shorter man shake.

“You know you like it.” Miyavi sung. One of his hands started venturing down Kai’s stomach and the drummer moaned when the soloist grabbed his member. Miyavi started grinding against the other, he began sucking on Kai’s neck and the drummer moaned out when his nipple was pinched.

“You’re as sensitive as ever.” Miyavi whispered before sucking back down on the neck. Kai threw his head back and was soon grinding against the singer. Miyavi pulled away, turned the stove off and dragged Kai into the bedroom. He threw the drummer onto the bed and climbed over him to attack his lips. The younger moaned out as hands started roaming his body. Miyavi pulled up and licked his lips as he removed his shirt. He quickly pulled Kai’s shirt off, almost ripping it, and then started on getting the drummer’s pants off.

“I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” The soloist said as pulled the pants off. He smiled as he saw a bulge forming in Kai’s boxer. He sighed. “I’m not in the mood for foreplay today, so you better hurry up and get hard.”

Kai whimpered as his boxers were soon removed. He raised up enough to see Miyavi working on getting his own pants off, so drummer took the opportunity to dig out his lube from the night stand. Miyavi yanked it out of the other’s hand and quickly coated his cock.

“You’re already so hard?”

“I’ve been thinking you’re ass all day long.” Miyavi said lifting Kai’s legs. “I’ve been hard all day and I haven’t been able to think straight. Since this is all your fault, you have to take responsibility.”

“Eh? How’s it my fault?”

Miyavi just smiled and Kai let out a loud moan as the soloist thrusted inside him. Miyavi didn’t even give him time to adjust  before he pulled out and rammed back in. Kai moaned out with each thrust, he gripped the sheets as he felt himself rip a little.

“You’re… so hot when you’re being fucked.” Miyavi moaned out. “You’re the sexiest cock craving slut. You know that?”

Kai moaned out. He didn’t want to, but Miyavi had hit his sweet spot, making him lose control of his body. _“M-more!”_

“That’s right. Beg for me.”

_“Fuck me harder!”_

Miyavi smiled as he thrusted harder into him, making him moan louder. As much as he wanted to cry, Kai couldn’t because he loved being fucked like this, by this man, the man he loved. He allowed himself to get dominated, to get hurt, and to get insulted. The soloist looked down at the man underneath him and smiled at how much of mess he was. Then he smiled bigger when an idea popped into his head. He suddenly pulled out and laid beside Kai.

“You want more?”

Kai whimpered and shook his head yes.

“Then ride me.”

The drummer’s eyes got wide. He’s never done that position before, but lust had taken over his blood depleted brain. He quickly got on top of the other and began pushing himself down, he moaned with each inch he took in. Miyavi rolled his eyes and shot his hips up, making Kai yell. Tear streamed down his face and blood dripped onto the soloist’s hips. Kai raised himself and slammed his hips down as Miyavi shot his up. They got faster, meeting each other with every thrust, and Miyavi grabbed Kai’s cock to make the drummer go faster.

 _“So close!”_  Kai shouted. Miyavi pinched the base of the drummer’s cock and started thrusting up harder. He bit his lip as he pushed the drummer off him. Miyavi got on his knees, grabbed Kai’s hair and pulled his head up. The soloist began jacking off and he moaned out as shot his hot seeds all over the brunette’s face. He let go and looked down to find that Kai had came all over his own stomach. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of Kai’s cum covered face, then a body shot. He put his phone away and petted the drummer’s head. Kai opened his eyes and looked up at him with sad eyes. Miyavi turned the light off, crawled under the covers, then pulled the brunette under them. He gave Kai a hug before pulling him into a kiss. The drummer’s eye got wide from it. Sure they’ve shared kisses, but none as passionate as this one, so he closed his eyes and took full advantage of it. When it ended Kai smiled.

“You’ve never kissed me like that before.”

Miyavi petted the brunette’s head. “Good night Kai.”

As much as the drummer wanted a response, he didn’t push it because he wanted Miyavi to stay.

            Kai opened his eyes to see the sun shining through his window. He sat up with a smile, but when he turned, it disappeared. Miyavi was gone.

“What’s new?” Kai asked and tears fell from his cheek. He covered his face with his hands and raised his knees up to his chest as he cried out the question over and over.

_“Why?”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Ruki woke up the next morning with a smile on his face. He was actually looking forward to today. Last night, after he broke down in the bathroom and returned to the table, he had a fun time. Aoi made him laugh, made him feel good about himself and made him feel…happy. When he got home last night, he decided that maybe letting Reita go was best for him. Not something he wanted to do, but Reita is with Uruha now and nothing the red head can do will change that. He felt that maybe, just maybe he could learn to love Aoi. He got up and quickly got ready, but before he could go for his keys, his phone started ringing. He looked at it and smiled when he saw that it was Aoi.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Aoi.”

“I know.”

“Oh, uh…right caller id. Um…yeah, so I’m leaving to head to the studio, do you want me to pick you up?”

“You don’t have to.” Ruki mumbled.

Aoi smiled, even though the other couldn’t see it. “I want to.”

The red head smiled. “Ok, I’ll be waiting then.”

“Ok then, um…I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“Ok. I-I um…thanks. Bye.”

“Um…yeah, bye.”

They both hung up and both sighed. Ruki tried to tell him that he loved him, but the word wouldn’t spill out. Aoi felt his body get hot and saw his face turning red in the mirror. He couldn’t believe that their short conversation affected him so much, but it also made him smile.

“Maybe I’m getting over Uruha.” He mumbled, starting his car.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The blonde woke in a bad mood like the past couple of mornings. He forced himself to get out of bed and go into the kitchen to get some breakfast. He sat down with the bowl of cereal, but he stared at it, not wanting to really eat, so he walked back into the kitchen and dropped the bowl into the sink, breaking it. He was walking down his hallway when a picture caught his attention. It was him leaning on Ruki as they smiled for the camera. He looked at all the pictures on the wall, all were of him and the band, but a few were just of him and Ruki. Those times are what he treasured most. The times of him being alone with Ruki, having a good time, it was also the times he hated most. He never wanted to hurt the shorter by telling how he loved him and now it was impossible. He rubbed Ruki face on the picture.

“I was too late. Not that it mattered. You’ve loved Aoi for a while haven’t you?” Reita felt rage dwell up inside him. He knew that those times that they spent together were over now. He yelled as he slammed the side of his fist into the picture, breaking the glass and frame of it. He watched as the pieces hit the floor, followed by the slowly falling picture. His eyes teared up as he looked at Ruki’s smiling face, then a drop of blood fell onto the vocalist’s cheek. Reita gasped as picked up the picture and started wiping the blood off, but more smudged on it. He realized that his hand was bleeding, then rushed for a cloth to wipe the picture clean, and luckily, it wasn’t damaged. He sat the picture on his nightstand then started cleaning the gash on the side of his hand up. After he was done, he sat on the bed and grabbed the picture, this time a tear fell on Ruki’s cheek.

“I’m sorry.” He whined and placed the picture against his chest. Then he hit his head and shook it. “Get a hold of yourself Reita. Crying. Jeez, what kind of man are you?”

The blonde sat the picture to the side and started getting ready, and then his phone started ringing.

“Hello.”

“Hey Rei!” It was Uruha.

“Hey Uru.”

“What’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“Just tired Uru.”

“Oh…well, you should stay the night at my place tonight.”

“I don’t know.” The blonde mumbled.

“Please.” Uruha begged.

Reita sighed. “I’ll think about it. I need finish getting ready, I’ll see in a little bit ok.”

“Why don’t I give you a ride?”

“No, I uh…I need to think for a while. Thanks though, I’ll see in a bit.”   

“Then how about we get breakfast.”

“Uruha!”

“Uh…s-sorry, I’ll see later. Bye.”

Before Reita could speak up, the other had hung up. He sighed and threw his phone across the room. The bassist was very stressed.

 

~~At the studio.~~

 

            Reita walked in to find Kai staring out the window, which was strange. He’s usual writing something down or talking on his phone. The blonde sat down and sighed.

“Kai?” Reita asked, but didn’t get a reply. “Kai...Kai!” The blonde grabbed a magazine and threw it at the drummer’s arm.

 _“What?”_ Kai yelled, glaring at the bassist.

“Uh…sorry.” Reita mumbled. He stood up to leave, but was faced with a smiling couple.

“What happened?” Ruki asked. He reached out and grabbed the bandaged hand. “Are you ok?”

“Nothing and I’m fine.” Reita said yanking his arm away.

“Will you be able to play?” Aoi asked.

“I said I was fine!”

“Don’t yell at him!” Ruki snapped at the blonde. “We’re just worried.”

Reita closed his eyes. “Sorry.” He whispered before walking past them and to the door.

“I got everyone breakfast!” Uruha said happily, but was greeted by grumpy faces. Reita gave a slight smile before he walked past the honey blonde and out of the room. Uruha put the bag down and went after him. He grabbed Reita’s shoulder, stopping him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry Uru. It’s just, it’s hard seeing them together.”

“I’m here for you.” The honey blonde whispered, putting his head on the other shoulder.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Just give me some time to get over him.”

“Ok.”

After a few minutes, Reita grabbed Uruha’s hand and they walked back to the room together. Ruki blinked a few tears away at the sight, but he leaned on Aoi, who was also holding in his emotions. The raven rubbed the shorter man’s head. Kai envied both couples, even though he knew that Reita was in love with Ruki, but was dating Uruha. He wished he had Miyavi by his side.

“Let’s get started.” The leader yelled. Everyone got their equipment set up and soon got started.

            Practice was intense. Ruki, Aoi, and Uruha sensed something from the drummer and bassist, since both were playing at a fast pace. They didn’t let up, or make any mistakes, but they were just rough today. So when they were done, Ruki plopped himself on the couch trying to catch his breath again.

“Would you help out for once?” Reita shouted at the red head. Ruki was shocked at the blonde harshness.

“S-sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Aoi ordered then he got into Reita’s face. “Don’t take your anger out on him.”

“Get out of my face before I beat the shit out of you.”

“Reita!” Ruki shouted. He got up and walked between them, forcing them apart. “I don’t what’s gotten into you, but you need to calm down.”

The blonde glared at him, but then looked back at Aoi.

“Rei.” Uruha whimpered. “Calm down.”

“Shut up!” Reita yelled.

“Would you stop yelling at everyone!” Aoi shouted.

“Aoi stop.” Ruki begged.

“Fuck off!” Reita yelled at the raven.

“Reita!” The red head yelled.

 _“You need to calm the fuck down!”_ The guitarist yelled.

 _“Don’t tell me what to do!”_  Reita got into his face.

“Reita! Aoi!” Ruki begged again.

 _“Stay out of this!”_ The blonde yelled. Ruki tried to push Reita away, but the bassist pushed back a little too hard and the vocalist fell back onto an amp.

 _“Ow.”_ Ruki cried out.

 “Ruki!” Aoi gasped, he kneeled down and careful sat Ruki up. Reita’s eyes were big, his arms were shaking, the anger towards Aoi was replaced with anger towards himself.

“Ru, I-I’m sorry.” The blonde whispered.

The singer sighed and went to lift himself up, but he whimpered when pain shot through his left wrist. He grabbed it as he looked up into Reita’s eyes. He saw the guilt in his friend’s face, he knew the blonde didn’t mean it.

“It’s ok.” Ruki said. Aoi helped him to his feet. “Just stop yelling at everyone and get control of your anger.”

“Let’s get someone to look at that.” Kai spoke up as he walked to Ruki. He lead the vocalist and Aoi out of the room.

Reita sighed and smacked himself in the face.

“Rei.” Uruha whispered.

The blonde turned to see his boyfriend with teary eyes. “Sorry I yelled at you. I’m just tired.”

“It’s ok. Would you like me to drive you home?”

“No.”

“Oh, ok. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah.”Reita said and started towards the door, but stopped. He turned back and walked towards Uruha, lifted the honey blonde’s head and kissed his lips. The guitarist kissed back and eagerly opened his mouth to let Reita’s tongue in.

 

~~Later~~

 

            Kai took Ruki to a small clinic to get his wrist checked out and Aoi followed in his car. Afterwards they found out that it was just a sprain, so Kai left to head home.

“Are we still going out tonight?” Ruki asked.

Aoi eyes got wide. “You still want to after all that?”

“Well, yes, because you planned it out and all. I mean if you don’t want to, then it’s fine.”

“No, let’s go out. Do you want to go home and get changed?”

“Sure.”

They got into Aoi’s car and headed out to Ruki’s place. When they got in, Aoi sat in the living room as Ruki started getting ready.

“Hey Aoi?” Ruki shouted

“Yeah?”

“Are we going to your place to so you can get ready?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t.” The red head said as he walked in. Aoi blushed. The singer was wearing blue jeans and a tight black shirt. “Do I look alright?”

“You look amazing.”

Ruki smiled as he blushed. They left and hurried over to Aoi place so the guitarist could get ready. Ruki looked around the living room, looked at the picture Aoi had of his family, friends, and of course the band.

“Want something to drink?” Aoi asked catching his attention. Ruki turned to find the other in a pair of  blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

“Um…sure.” He mumbled and followed the other to the kitchen. Aoi pulled out a can of beer each from the small refrigerator.

“I see you finally got a fridge.”

“Yeah, like a month ago.”

They laughed and opened their beers. Aoi watched as Ruki started drinking and he wasn’t paying attention as he went to drink his own and spilled it all over his shirt.

“Fuck!”

Ruki started laughing. “Having problems?”

Aoi smiled. “Yeah I missed my mouth.” He sat the can down and walked past the red head. Ruki walked behind him and watched as he took his shirt off while walking down the hall.

“Aoi.”

Th guitarist turned around, making Ruki blush, but the vocalist walked forward until he was standing in front of the raven. He stroked Aoi’s bicep, then his hand venture to the guitarist’s pecks.

“I wish I had a strong body like yours and Reita’s.”

Aoi didn’t know why, but for some reason when Reita’s name left the red head’s mouth, he got angry.

“You’re perfect the way you are.” The guitarist said.

“Re-really?”

“Really.”

Ruki smiled and removed his hand, so Aoi went back to grab a purple shirt. He slipped on a jacket with trinkets hanging from it, then walked back out and grabbed Ruki’s hand before they walked out.

 

~~At Kai’s ~~

 

            Kai walked into his apartment and looked over to make sure Miyavi wasn’t going to do a surprise attack on him, but he wasn’t there. For some reason, Kai was sad. He hated being used, but he also missed Miyavi and wanted him there. He wanted the soloist to love him, to hold him, to protect him, but that’s what they call a dream. The only dream that has came true for Kai was that he became a great drummer and have great band mates. He started making some tea, but then he looked at the counter and remembered how Miyavi took him so many times on that counter. He started looking around a realized that every piece of furniture has been fucked and cummed on by the two of them. He sat on the couch and sat his cup down, then had more memories. How they did it on the balcony, against the sliding glass door, on the coffee table, on the couch, against the tv, against the mirror in his room. Kai soon found himself laying on the couch jacking off. One particular memory got him more excited. When they were doing in the shower, the Miyavi made him get out and they stood in front of the mirror. Miyavi picked him off the ground and held his legs wide open, so he could watch as the other cock penetrated him. He watched every thrust, up until they both came, and he watched the semen leak out of entrance. Kai remembered how they fucked for hours that night, cumming over and over. The drummer shot up and moaned as he came in his hand. He relaxed his body and tried to breath. Then he remembered, that after every single time, Miyavi left him to wake up alone. It made Kai feel like he was nothing, so why did he let the soloist do it all the time? He pulled his pants back up, but before he could go wash up, his doorbell rung.

“Who could that be?” He mumbled walking to the door. When he opened it, he was greeted with a smile on the face of Miyavi. “What do you want?”

“That’s not very nice.”

“I’m not in the mood tonight.”

“Are you sure about that?” He said pointing at the semen dripping from Kai’s hand. The drummer’s face got red as Miyavi grabbed the other’s arm and brought the hand to his mouth. Kai gasped as the soloist took a big lick of his hand. “Mmm, still warm.”

“S-stop.”

Miyavi smiled as he walked in and closed the door.

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde plopped down on his bed. He looked over and saw that it was still pretty early.

‘Reita seemed so hurt today. Have I made a mistake? Should I have let them two be together? No! Reita’s mine! I deserve him. I should have him. I’ve known him longer. It’s only natural I get to be with him.’

Uruha jumped to his feet and walked to his bathroom where started the tub. He got into the warm water and started wiping himself down, but then he thought about earlier.

‘When Aoi and Reita were fighting, the only person who tried to stop them was, Ruki. When he got hurt, Reita changed from anger to sad. Who cares? I’ll change Reita. He’ll love me soon.’

“He’ll love me. Soon. He just needs another push.”

And evil smile peeled onto the honey blonde lips.

 

~~The Park~~

 

            After the movie, Aoi took Ruki to a park and since it was dark out, they were alone. They were holding hands as they walked along a path, Ruki leaned on Aoi and as much as he wished that it was Reita, he really liked it. It felt right for them to be like this. Aoi has done nothing, but treat him well, and has done things to benefit him. For once Ruki felt special.

‘Had I made mistake for falling in love with Reita? Should I have really fallen in love with Aoi? It doesn’t matter in the end because Aoi still loves Uruha. Why? Why can’t I be loved? Reita loves Uruha, Aoi loves Uruha. It’s always Uruha. Is it because he’s taller, sexier, because he’s thinner? Why? Am I just destined to be alone.’

“Ru, are you ok?” Aoi asked. The vocalist looked him confused, but understood when the guitarist wiped a tear off his face.

“I’m ok. I’m just happy I guess.”

The guitarist gave a concerned look. ‘He says that, but there’s sadness all over his face. Why are you so sad Ruki?’

“You look tired. Are you ready to go home?” Aoi asked.

Ruki smiled. “Yeah, it was long day too. My energy is completely drained.”

“Let’s get you home then.”

            Aoi walked Ruki up to his apartment and they hugged for a minute.

“I had fun.” Ruki said with a smile.

The guitarist smiled back. “Me too.”

He rubbed the vocalist’s cheek and moved closer to his face. Ruki blushed as Aoi slowly closed the gap between their lips. They both closed their eyes, the red head wrapped his arms around the other’s neck as Aoi licked the vocalist’s lips. Ruki hesitated, but opened his mouth and allowed him in, then started kissing back. Moans escaped from both of them and after a few minutes of the passionate kiss they had to break away to breath. Aoi pecked the red head’s lips again before straightening up. Ruki smiled as he started digging out his keys, then he unlocked the door and opened it.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Aoi said.

“Wait.” The red head spoke up. “It’s late. Why don’t you stay the night?”

The guitarist got red, but smiled. “Thanks.”

He walked in and closed the door behind them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

Kai woke up alone like usual, but he was exhausted and terribly sore this time. He forced himself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom where he started examining himself. He had dried up semen on his stomach, down his thighs and on his back. His torso and neck was covered in hickies, his nipples had scabs on them from when Miyavi bit them, and his throat was sore from deep throating the soloist. He was a complete mess.   
“Damn.” His voice was raspy. He slowly limped to the living room, grabbed his phone and called Reita.  
“Hello?”The bassist mumbled  
“Hey.” Kai whispered.  
“Kai, is that you?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”  
“Yeah…I’m not feeling so good. I want to cancel practice today, is that ok?”  
“That’s fine. You want me to bring you some medicine?” The blonde asked.  
“No. I’ll be fine. I just need some rest and I have medicine.”  
“Ok, rest then. I’ll call everyone else and tell them for you.”  
“Thanks. Bye.”  
“See ya.” Reita hung, then the drummer sat the phone down. He limped back to the bathroom and started filling the tub with hot water.  
“Maybe I should move.” He whispered. When the tub filled up, he slowly slid himself down into it and sighed from the relief. He stared at the water for a moment, remembering a month ago when Miyavi had fucked him in the tub and then left him there to wake up in it alone. Kai sighed in anger. “I’m moving.” 

~~At Ruki’s~~

The red head woke up to his phone ringing. He felt a pair of arms wrapped around him and he smiled remembering that Aoi had stayed the night. He reached onto his nightstand and answered his cell.   
“Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s Reita.”  
Ruki gasped. His crush is calling him. Why? Now he felt weird because Aoi was holding him. “Um…hey.”  
“Kai isn’t feeling well so he canceled practice today.”  
Ruki popped, breaking away from the raven’s grip. “Is he ok? Does he need some medicine?”  
“No, no. He said he’s fine. He just needs rest.”  
Ruki sighed, but gasped when he felt a pair of lips on his neck.   
“Who you talking to?” The guitarist asked.  
“Uh…i-is that Aoi?” Reita asked.  
“Um…y-yes” Ruki mumbled.  
“Oh, sorry to disturb you.”  
“No Reita wait—” Ruki was cut off when the blonde hung up.  
“Why did he call?” Aoi sounded pissed.  
“Kai isn’t feeling well, so he canceled practice.”  
The raven smiled as he pulled the other back down and onto his chest. He held Ruki tightly and kissed the red hair’s head. “I guess we get to stay like this longer then.”  
Ruki blushed as he smiled and he nuzzled his head in the crook of Aoi’s neck. He felt happy, but at the same time he felt guilty and sad. He felt like he was betraying his own heart. He sighed, ignoring the feeling and went back to breathing in Aoi’s scent.

~~Uruha’s~~

Uruha was taking a long, relaxing bath when his phone started going off. He got out and grabbed his phone, only to hear about Kai from Reita. He slipped back in the tub and smiled.  
“Hey Reita?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Guess what I’m doing.”  
“I don’t know…watching tv.”  
“Nope. I’m taking a bath.”  
“Oh.”  
Uruha giggled. “Well, since we’re both off today, why don’t we go on a date?”  
“I-I don’t know Uru.”  
“Please Rei.” The honey blonde whined. “The point of going out with somebody, is to actually go out.”  
The bassist sighed. “Fine. Where do you want to go?”  
“Yay! Hmm, let’s go see a movie.”  
“In the middle of the day?”  
“Why not?”  
“What time do you want me to pick you up?” The blonde asked.  
“How about an hour from now?”  
“I’ll see you then.”  
“Thanks. And Reita.”  
“What?”  
“I love you.”  
“Uh…um I-I like you too. I’ll see you in a little bit. Bye.”  
“Bye.” Uruha mumbled. He sighed as he dropped his phone to the side. “I’ll get you say ‘I love you’ real soon.”  
When Uruha got out, he got into some tight fitting pants that showed off his ass, a white tank top with a black skull on it and a pair of black shoes. He decided to do an old hairstyle and flattened his hair out. He sat on the couch, waiting for his date to pick him up. It had been a little over an hour and the honey blonde was getting impatient.  
“I swear if he blew me off—” He grumbled, but then someone knocked on the door. He answered it and smiled when he saw Reita standing there. He was wearing a simple black shirt, baggy pants, and his hair had just been simply brushed. Uruha locked the door and followed the other down to the parking lot.  
‘He could have dressed better.’ The guitarist thought. ‘I went out of my way to make myself look amazing for him and he just dresses simple. He didn’t even compliment me, he’s not smiling, he’s just being a sour puss.’  
Uruha stopped in his tracks, which took Reita a minute to notice, but he turned and looked at his date. “What?”  
“Reita, if you didn’t want to go on a date, then we didn’t have to.”  
The blonde sighed. “I want to. Now let’s get going.” He turned back and started walking.  
“You want to go with Ruki.”  
Reita stopped. “Uruha…”  
“Please Reita.” The honey blonde begged. “I’m here. I want to be with you. I’m sorry, but Ruki doesn’t love you, he loves Aoi. Can you please give me a chance? Can you stop thinking about him so I can make you happy?”  
“I can’t Uru. I’ve loved him ever since I met him.”  
“But he’s with Aoi.”  
“I’m fine that. As long as he’s happy… then it’s ok.”  
Uruha walked up and hugged Reita from behind. “Even if you have to suffer?”  
Reita smiled. “Yes. But you know what?”  
“Hmm?”  
“I will at least try to make you happy.”  
The honey blonde sighed. “I want you to be happy too.”  
‘Why do I feel so guilty? I don’t want him to be miserable, but I didn’t want him to be with Ruki either. I’ve already decided that I will be the only person he gives his heart to and I’m going get it.’ Uruha thought.  
“Let’s get going.” Reita said, breaking away from the other. “Or we’ll miss the movie.”  
The guitarist smiled. “Ok.”

~~Ruki’s~~

The singer woke up again, this time his head was moving up and down on Aoi’s chest. He raised up and saw the raven peacefully sleeping. His hair was all over, his naked chest was flawless, and his face seemed so calm. Ruki quietly got out of bed, grabbed some clothes, and went to the bathroom, where silently closed the door. He let out a sigh before setting his clothes on the counter and then he started the shower. He slipped out of his pajama pants and boxers, then stepped into the steaming shower. As the water soaked his body, he stared at the wall, thinking.  
‘I wish I was in love with Aoi. Then this would feel right. I’m tricking him, making him fall in love with me. I’m such a bastard.’ He hugged himself and slid against the wall as he cried.   
“Why?” He whimpered. ‘I just wanted Reita to love me. I should have never told Uruha about my crush. Now I’m hurting Aoi. Damn it!’  
Ruki poured a bunch of soap in his hand and started scrubbing his hair. He grabbed his body wash and poured it on his body and started scrubbing with his hands.   
‘I’m fucking nothing. I’m shit. I’m a piece of trash. I’m ugly. I don’t deserve anybody!’  
Aoi woke up alone, so he popped up and looked around. He got out and started walking, but then he heard the shower when he passed the bathroom. He was about to knock on the door when he heard whimpering, so he sat his head against the door.  
“…sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucked up. I’m a fucking bastard. I don’t deserve anyone.”  
Aoi gasped and stepped away, then he knocked on the door. Ruki sniffled and took a few breathes.  
“Yeah?”  
“You ok in there? I heard you crying.” Aoi said.  
The singer smiled. “I’m ok. I just got soap in my eyes.”  
“If you say so.” Aoi muttered. “Ok, well, do you want me to start breakfast?”  
“That would be great. Thanks!” Ruki shouted then looked at the reddish water. He had scrubbed his chest so hard it bled. He got to his feet, rinsed himself off, and got out. He quickly got dressed and walked out to find his boyfriend plating some food, so he sat down at the table. Aoi sat a plate in front of him, then sat next to him and kissed the vocalist’s forehead. Ruki blushed and looked at the ground, but Aoi raised his head up.  
“You’re really adorable.” The raven muttered before capturing the red head’s lips. Ruki’s heart was beating ‘no, no, no,’ but his brain was saying ‘yes, yes, yes,’ and he was listening to his brain.

~~The theater~~

Uruha and Reita walked out of the movies together, holding hands like every other couple. The honey blonde leaned on his boyfriend’s shoulder as they slowly walked to the car.  
“What do you want to do after this?” Uruha asked.  
“Mmm…” Reita thought. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”  
“Let’s go to one of our homes and have lunch or something.”  
“Sounds good.”  
So they got in the car and drove to Uruha’s apartment. The honey blonde went into the kitchen to cook as Reita sat on the couch and turned the tv on. The guitarist pulled out some beers, then he looked out to make sure Reita was occupied before taking a pill bottle out of the cabinet. He dropped two of the pills in one of the beers, then walked out and handed it to the blonde. Reita gladly accepted it and took a drink from it.  
“What would you like to eat?”  
The bassist sighed. “Anything’s fine.”  
Uruha smiled and ran back to the kitchen to get started on some hamburgers. As he was flipping them, he heard Reita walk in and throw something away. He turned to find the blonde opening the fridge and taking out another beer.  
“I would have gotten that for you.”  
The blonde smiled. “I know, but you’re busy.”  
Uruha smiled and watched as he walked out and sat back on the couch. The honey blonde pulled the bottle out of the trash can to see the pills were gone and smiled knowing Reita had taken them. He went back to cooking and then made their plates. He walked out to see Reita still watching tv with an empty beer bottle in his hand.  
“Hey, you finished with that?”  
Reita smiled as he stood up and handed the bottle over. Uruha rubbed Reita’s face and kissed the blonde’s lips, but when he pulled away, he saw his boyfriend looking away with guilty eyes.  
‘Why hasn’t it taken effect yet? The damn bottle lied.’ The honey blonde sighed. “Dinner’s done, go wash your hands.”  
The bassist shook his head and walked to the bathroom, so Uruha rushed back into the kitchen. He grabbed the bottle, crushed two pills up and put the powder on hamburger, before taking the plates to the table. Reita walked back in and sat down as Uruha got them both a beer , then he sat down as well. He ate slowly and watched as the blonde wolfed down the drugged burger.   
“What?” Reita asked.   
Uruha smiled. “Nothing. Let’s watch some tv.”  
“What about the dishes?”  
“I’ll get to them later.”  
So they went to the couch and Uruha snuggled against the other as they watched some news, but then the honey blonde noticed Reita breathing hard. The blonde’s face was flushed, sweat was rolling down his face, and when Uruha looked down, he saw the bulge in Reita’s pants growing. The honey blonde rubbed the other’s thigh, making him moan, so Uruha rubbed closer to the bulge.   
“That feel good?” The guitarist whispered.  
“Mmm.” Was his only response. He pushed Reita onto his back and crawled over him to give him a kiss. He wasn’t too surprised when Reita’s tongue invaded his mouth and then the blonde started groping Uruha’s butt. The bassist grinded against the other as he started massaging the honey blonde’s ass.   
“Reita.” Uruha moaned. “The bed room.”  
The guitarist pulled away and lead the blonde to the room, where Reita pushed him onto the bed. Uruha watched as his boyfriend removed his shirt before climbing on the bed and over him. He kissed the honey blonde again, then kissed down his neck and lifted up only to remove the guitarist’s shirt. He went back down and attached his lips to one the honey blonde’s nipples. Uruha moaned and gripped Reita’s hair. When Reita was done abusing the nub, he started kissing down the guitarist’s stomach to his pants. The blonde sat up and quickly removed Uruha’s pants, throwing them in any direction before kissing the forming bulge in the boxers.  
“Mmm, Reita.” Uruha moaned as the blonde sucked on his cloth covered cock. Reita licked up, then down then bit on it, making the other moan. He let up only to pull the boxers off. He threw them to the side and grabbed the member, stroking it. Uruha moaned out as his cock was being pumped, but the honey blonde sat up and pulled away. He pulled Reita into a kiss as he started unbuckling the other’s pants and then he started rubbing the blonde’s crotch, making him moan. He forced the bassist to lay down so he could straddle the blonde. Reita rubbed Uruha’s chest, down his stomach, but then the honey blonde slid back. He pulled the bassist’s pants and boxers off then started stroking the throbbing member. Reita moaned as Uruha took the tip into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, sucked on it, then let off to lick all around it. He pulled it side to side before moving it in circles. Reita moaned out and gripped the honey blonde hair, but instead of thrusting, he pulled Uruha off. He sat up and pushed the guitarist onto his back. Reita got in between the honey blonde’s legs and spread them more.   
“Rei…lube.” Uruha moaned. The blonde glared down at him, but waited for the guitarist to grab some out of his night stand. Reita yanked it away and started coating his cock, scaring Uruha. “R-Reita, you need to prepare me first.”  
Reita ignored him and spread his legs even wider before placing himself at the entrance. Uruha screamed out and gripped the sheets as the blonde penetrated him. Reita moaned out at the tightness then pulled out and started a slow pace, letting the other get use to it. Uruha whimpered and cried a little, but soon he started moaning as the blonde began to hit his prostate.   
“Faster.” Uruha begged. Reita didn’t waste any time and started a rough pace, making the guitarist melt in pleasure. The honey blonde pulled his lover down into a kiss, Reita pulled away and slapped him.  
“Reita, what the hell?”   
The blonde glared at him again, then he pulled out, flipped Uruha over and thrusted back in him, making moan out some more. Reita slapped the plumped ass and tried to go faster. The honey blonde started to regret drugging his boyfriend.   
“Fuck! Ruki!” Reita yelled. Uruha felt a sting in his heart and he began to cry as he listened to the other calling out their vocalist’s name.  
“Akira!” the honey blonde yelled as he came all over the bed sheets.  
“So good Ruki! Fuck! Takanori!” He moaned as he filled Uruha, making him whimper. He pulled out as their heavy breathes filled the room. Uruha was closing his eyes to sleep, but then he was suddenly turned back over. He looked up into his boyfriend’s dilated eyes and he knew that this was far from over.

~~Kai’s place~~

“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” He said before hanging up the phone. He closed the phone book and smiled as he began making himself some tea. He had spent all day calling about a new apartment and he finally found one that he could move into next month. He was quite satisfied with himself and he was also feeling a lot better than earlier. He decided to order some take out and watch tv for the rest of the night. After a few shows, he took a quick shower, had a cup of warm tea, then he laid down and went to bed. He woke up early the next morning, had a relaxing breakfast and then he got ready. He smiled knowing that things were finally looking up for him. He decided to take his time getting to the studio today and when he got there, he saw Aoi and Ruki already there talking.  
“Hey guys.” He said cheerfully.  
“Hey!” Ruki jumped to his feet and smiled. “You seem better. How are you feeling?”  
“Great. Just a one day stomach bug I guess.”   
“Glad you’re better.” Reita said walking in.  
Kai turned and smiled at him, but he raised an eyebrow when he saw Uruha limping and holding a pained expression on his face.  
“Had fun last night?” The leader asked.  
“Shut up.” The honey blonde grumbled.  
Reita giggled. They all got their instruments out and tuned, then they started practice.  
After their last song, Uruha laid face first on the couch and Reita sat on the arm of the couch as everyone walked out. They walked outside and started smoking, except Kai who just talked with them. Soon, the smoke was bothering him, so he started back in, but halfway back he ran into the one person he hated most.  
“Hey sexy.” Miyavi said, rubbing Kai’s cheek. The drummer slapped him away.  
“Listen to me Miyavi. We’re done.”  
“Oh?” The soloist rubbed his hand down the brunette’s waist. “I don’t think you’re body is.”  
‘Gotta think quick.’ Kai thought and then an idea popped into his head. “Listen. Stop ok. I’m dating someone now.”  
“Oh? Who?”  
“None of your damn business.”  
Miyavi giggled. “Are you lying to me?”  
“N-no.”  
The soloist raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Then who is it?”  
“It’s…it’s Aoi.”Kai almost gasped at his own answer.  
“Really? I don’t believe you.”  
“Well, it’s true.”  
“Then prove it.” Miyavi said pointing. Kai turned and saw the guitarist walking back with Ruki. “Or were you lying?”  
Kai glared at him and waited for them to get closer before making a bold move. He took a deep breath, got in front of Aoi, and pulled the raven into a passionate kiss. Aoi’s eyes got wide, Miyavi was suddenly filled with anger, and Ruki’s jaw dropped. The vocalist had felt so betrayed when Uruha had tricked him with Reita, but now…now he just felt so confused. Kai pulled his tongue out of the guitarist’s mouth and turned to see the angered expression on Miyavi’s face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            “So let me get this straight.” Shou said. He and Ruki were sitting in a booth at a nearby café drinking coffee. “You and Uruha both like Reita, Uruha tricked you into dating Aoi, so he could have Reita. Today, Kai randomly French kissed Aoi and told Miyavi that they were dating. He told you that Miyavi has been bothering him so he just needed a quick cover. So, Reita’s dating Uruha, you’re dating Aoi, and when Miyavi is around, Kai is dating Aoi.”

“That about sums it up.” Ruki mumbled.

The other singer sighed and shook his head. “You guys are a mess. This is going to end really bad.”

“I know. Does that mean I should end it with Aoi? Tell him the truth and _hope_ he forgives me.”

“To be honest…I’m pretty scared of him. He can get pretty angry, so why don’t you wait until you two do something romantic or calming, but make it real soon. Just beg for him to forgive you, I mean you guys haven’t been dating that long, so maybe he won’t be mad.”

Ruki sighed, but shook his head.

 

~~At the studio~~

 

            Uruha was still laying on the couch and Reita was rubbing his back.              

“I really am sorry.” The blonde mumbled. The honey blonde scowled at the other and sniffled to keep his tears back. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t know what got over me.”

“I-I’m not crying because of that.” The guitarist whined.

“Then what’s wrong.”

“All night.” He mumbled. “You called out _his name_ all night long. Damn it! I know you don’t love me, but please don’t torture me like that!”

Reita looked at the ground and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry Uru. I’m trying.”

 

~~At the café~~

 

            Ruki sighed as he stared in his cup of tea, Shou was sipping his tea, and they were both quiet.

“I’m sure everything will be ok.” The ashy blonde whispered.

Ruki sighed and sat back in his seat. “I have a really bad feeling and I don’t know why.”

“Me too, but you have to do it.”

The red head frowned, but then a familiar figure walked in and the singer smiled. Aoi walked over and sat beside his boyfriend.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding.” The raven said.

Shou laughed. “Sorry. I needed to borrow him again for advice for the song.”

Aoi shook his head and wrapped his arm around Ruki’s shoulder to pull him close.  “Let’s go on a date tonight.”

The red head blushed. “Um…”

“Aww, you should go.” Shou said. “I’m going to go so you two can be alone. I’ll see you guys later.”

They watched as he got up and left, then Aoi turned Ruki’s face back at him. “So how about it. Will you go on another date with me?”

The singer’s face got redder and he looked at the ground with a smile. “Th-that would be great. Yes. I’d love to go.”

The guitarist raised the shorter one’s head. “Why did you look down and mumble?”

 Ruki felt his face catch on fire. “I-I’m just embarrassed and happy and…” He smiled bigger. “…I just feel butterflies in my stomach. That’s all.”

“Good.” Aoi whispered as he rubbed the singer’s cheek. “I’ll pick you up at five, then we’ll go out to eat, and then go see a movie. Then afterwards, we’ll think of something else to do.”  The guitarist smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

“What are you doing?”

Aoi and Ruki turned to see Miyavi staring at them.

Remembering that the soloist thinks he and Kai are dating, Aoi quickly thought of an excuse. “I was telling him a secret.”

“And you need to be that close?”

“Yes, I don’t want anybody to hear it.”

Miyavi eyed them suspiciously, but turned to walk to the counter. They quickly got up, paid the bill and headed back to the studio.

 

~~At the studio~~

 

            On their way up, they ran into Kai, who took Aoi’s hand and smiled.

“I’m sorry Ru.” He whispered. “It’ll only be for a few days. I promise.”

The singer sighed and looked at the taller man. “It’s ok, just find something else soon.”

“I will, I promise. Oh, and don’t forget that we have a meeting in ten minutes.”

Ruki watched as his lover walked with Kai holding hands and it made the redhead’s heart hurt. He sighed as he continued on to the studio, but halfway down the hall, he saw Reita coming out with his head down.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

The blonde shot his head up to find his crush standing there. “Um…nothing. I just need some fresh air.”

“K.”He mumbled then watched as the blonde walked passed him. He continued in to find Uruha reading a magazine and the honey blonde smiled when he saw the shorter walk in.

“So Ruki,”

“Don’t talk to me.” The vocalist snapped at him.

The honey blonde sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve like him longer. I tried to get you with Aoi. So how’s that going?”

Ruki glared at him. “Fine.”

“See. Now is he treating you well?”

The red head looked at the floor and blushed.

“Aww! See it’s turning out ok.” Uruha squealed as he stood up.

“But it doesn’t feel right.”

The guitarist smiled and petted Ruki’s cheek.  “Maybe you’ll feel better if you tell Aoi about the bet.”

 

~~Outside.~~

 

            Aoi sighed and let go of Kai’s hand. The drummer looked at him confused, only to get a slight smile in return.

“I’m going to head up. Ruki has looked upset all day, so I want to make sure he’s ok.”

Kai smiled. “All right. I’ll be up in a few minutes too.”

The guitarist shook his head, then started back up the steps, but when he got up there, something caught his attention.

“Aoi won’t hate you.” It was Uruha.

The guitarist peeked through the door to find the honey blonde talking to Ruki.

The singer sighed. “I’m scared he will.”

“It’s not like the relationship is real.”

“We care for each other.” Ruki said.

“Then why haven’t we seen you two kissing? All we see is you two walking together. You don’t even look like a couple.”

“We are Uru.”

“Then prove it. Whenever they all get back, kiss him. Be all over him.”

Ruki glared at him. “What if Miyavi walks in?”

“Making excuses I see. Then I guess it’s fine for Kai. He and Aoi can be all over each other.”

“Fine! I’ll do it!”

Aoi thought that this would be a good time to go in. “Do what?”

Ruki’s face got red and he looked. “Um…nothing. I’ll tell you later.”

The brunette smiled and shook his head as he grabbed the red head’s hand and lead him to the couch. They sat down and Ruki snuggled against the taller just before he started sucking on the brunette’s neck. Aoi knew something was up, but he was liking this too much to care and they were both ignoring the fact that Uruha was still in the room. The brunette lifted Ruki’s head and pulled him into a kiss just as Kai and Reita walked in. The blonde felt his heart rip apart and Uruha saw the emptiness taking over his boyfriend’s eyes.

‘Yeah I feel bad.’ The honey blonde thought. ‘But now Reita is finally broken and I can put the pieces back together. He’ll love me now, I just know it.”

The couple was getting more into it, Aoi was starting to grope Ruki’s ass as the singer rubbed the brunette’s stomach, raising his shirt.

“Enough!” Reita shouted. Ruki pulled away and blushed when he saw everyone there. He quickly stood up and smiled, but it disappeared when he saw the darkness in the blonde’s eyes. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Kai shook his head and glared at him. He looked at the ground as he took a seat next to Aoi and everyone took their seats to go over a few songs.

 

~~Afterwards.~~

 

            Aoi and Ruki walked together, but made sure to look like normal friends in case they ran into Miyavi. About ten minutes afterwards, the other three headed down together. Kai stopped at his car and waved bye to them, but Reita gave a broken smile as he walked away. The drummer knew Reita would be different from now on. He sighed and went to open his door, but then someone slammed it shut. He turned to find himself pinned against his car, staring into Miyavi’s eyes. The soloist grabbed Kai’s hair and pulled him into a rough kiss. The drummer tried to fight back, but Miyavi was too strong and wouldn’t loosen his grip on the shorter one’s wrist. Kai punched the singer’s chest and finally Miyavi pulled away only to slap the drummer across the face.

“There is no use fighting me.” He whispered. He turned Kai’s body and slammed him onto the hood of the car.

 _“Stop it!”_ Kai yelled. Miyavi held the drummer’s wrists as he started ripping the brunette’s shirt off. Kai started crying, begging, but the soloist wouldn’t listen, he just started pulling the drummer’s pants down.

_“Get off him!”_

Miyavi was suddenly punched to the ground. Kai started to slide off, but a pair of strong arms wrapped around him and held him up. He looked up to find Reita holding him and then he was passed to Uruha. The blonde got on top of Miyavi and started punching him over and over. Kai saw the bassist’s rage being unleashed and he had to stop it.

 _“Reita stop!”_ Kai yelled. He pulled away from the honey blonde and grabbed the blonde’s arm before he could land another punch.  “Please.”

Reita looked up at him with a red, angered face. “ _Why?”_

“You’ll kill him.”

The blonde down at the bloody and bruised figure beneath him. He stood up, grabbed Miyavi’s shirt and pulled him to his feet.

“If you ever lay a finger on him again I will rip your balls off then beat you to death.” Reita threatened, then he threw the soloist back onto the ground. He wrapped his arm around the drummer’s shoulder and started leading him away. Miyavi opened his swelling eyes to see Kai with scared, sad, teary eyes and he felt a pain in his chest.

‘I-I didn’t mean to hurt you.’ He thought as he watched the trio walk to Reita’s car. ‘I just…I just wanted for you to only be mine.’

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            They made Kai sit down on the couch as Uruha got a washcloth and Reita got the drummer some new clothes to wear. When the blonde returned, he found his friend crying, so he sat next to him and pulled him into a hug. Uruha walked in and sat beside him so he could wipe his friend’s face, but Kai wouldn’t let Reita go. The brunette cried for a whole hour before he finally let go of him, so Uruha made all three of them some tea as Reita got the drummer to change into some fresh clothes. They all sat down and started drinking the tea before they started talking.

“How long has he been doing this?” Reita asked.

Kai sighed. “A-about  half a year now.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Uruha asked.

“I didn’t like it, but I liked it. Miyavi confessed to me, I refused him, we got drunk and did it. Then he started following me and breaking into my apartment. At first I thought it was funny so I played along. I liked the sex and all but it seems that’s all it was. I would wake up alone every single time and it hurt. Two months ago, I told him to stop, but he didn’t. He just got more into it.”

“Even if you liked it, he shouldn’t have done it.”

“I know.” Kai voice shook and tears started flowing down again.

“If he’s been breaking into your apartment, then you’re staying here from now on.” Reita said.

“Th-thanks, but I-I’m moving into a new place next month.”

“Then until you move, you’re staying here.”

Kai didn’t want to argue so he just shook his head.

“I guess I’ll head home.” Uruha said. “We have another day off tomorrow so sleep in. Can I come back in the afternoon?”

“Sure.” The blonde said. He walked him to the door and locked it behind the guitarist.

“Um…” Kai whimpered. “Can I use your shower?”

“Of course.”

 

~~A Sushi Bar~~

 

            Aoi and Ruki were sitting next to each other laughing at a joke the guitarist told. They had just finished eating and were waiting for the bill.

“Let’s skip the movie.” Aoi said.

Ruki looked at him with a surprised expression. “Um…alright. What do you want to do then?”

The raven rubbed the other’s back. “Let’s go back to my place.”

The singer gave a nervous smile. “Ok.”

When their check finally came, Aoi paid then they headed to his place. When they walked in, Ruki sat down as his host got them some beers and sat next to him. The red head felt awkward and was taking big sips of his beer, but before he knew it, he finishing his fourth one. Aoi had started sucking the singer’s neck and they fell back onto the couch. Ruki moaned a little, but it was silenced when Aoi kissed him. The raven’s hands started venturing the other’s body and he started grinding his hips against him. The singer moaned out as the friction caused his pants to tighten up. The guitarist’s hand slid into Ruki’s pants and grabbed his member, making him whimper, but he was soon moaning again when Aoi started massaging it. The raven pulled from the kiss and started kissing down Ruki’s neck as his other hand started lifting the vocalist’s shirt.

“Aoi!” Ruki moaned.

The guitarist smiled as he lifted up and removed his hands, making the shorter man whimper. Aoi removed his shirt before taking Ruki’s off and throwing them across the room. He got between the red head’s legs and quickly removed the pants, showing a bulge twitching in a pair of red, plaid boxers. Aoi licked his before leaning down and licking the bulge. Ruki shot his arms down and  grabbed the raven hair as he moaned out.

_“St-stop teasing!”_

Aoi smiled at how the other begged. He continued soaking the boxers with his saliva, then he started Ruki’s thigh, making him spread his legs some more. He started thrusting up, trying to get more, so Aoi finally decided to remove his boxers, showing a glistening, pre-cum dripping cock. He wrapped his hand around it and started to slowly pump it. Ruki was staring at him with scared, but lustful eyes. The raven moved a little and leaned down to take to cockhead into his mouth. He pulled off to lick the underside of the head, making Ruki melt with pleasure.

_“Too good!”_

Aoi smiled before taking the member back into his mouth and he started moving his head in a circular motion. The red head’s moans were coming a bit louder as he started thrusting. The raven felt how close the other was and started taking him deeper.

 _“Aoi!”_ Ruki shouted as he thrusted up, filling the guitarist’s mouth with his warm, milky liquid. The raven sucked him dry before pulling off and swallowing. Ruki had his eyes closed, head turned to the side, face flushed and he was breathing hard. Aoi got off the couch only to remove his pants, then he climbed back on and got between Ruki’s legs again. He raised them up and place himself at the younger’s entrance. When Ruki felt it, he gasped and sat up, making the raven glare at him confusingly.

“I-I…I’m sorry Aoi. I…I can’t.” He shook his head. “I’m not ready. I’m sorry. I’m scared.”

The guitarist sighed and pulled the other close to him. “It’s ok. I’ll make it feel good.”

“I-I know you will, but…”He pushed himself back and smiled. “Can we wait until next time?  So I can be better prepared.”

“I’m very impatient.” Aoi rubbed the red head’s cheek. “But for some reason, I feel calm around you. So I can wait, just for you.”

Ruki smiled and pulled the other into a short kiss. “I can at least take care of that for you.”

“I don’t want you to get a sore throat.”

“Tomorrow’s our day off.”

“I don’t care.”

“Me neither. I’ll just push through and sing with a sore throat if it does heal tomorrow.”

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The blonde was watching the news not really paying attention to it though. He was thinking about Ruki. About Uruha. Then Ruki. Then back to Uruha. He was confused on what to do. He loves the vocalist, but the red head’s dating Aoi, and Uruha loves him, but he can’t return the love. That bothers the blonde. He doesn’t want to be with someone if doesn’t loves them, but he also doesn’t want to hurt his best friend because he can’t have the man he wants.

“Ah! My head hurts!” He shouted, slapping his forehead. He looked down at the time and noticed that Kai has been the shower for almost an hour. So he got up and knocked on the door. “Kai, you ok in there?”

When there was no answer, the blonde knocked and this time he opened the door. A mountain of steam flowed out as he walked in and he could hear loud whimpers.

“Kai?” He asked then opened the curtain. He gasped at the sight. The brunette sitting on his knees, scratching at his bloody shoulders. _“Kai!”_

Reita quickly turned the hot water faucet off and stepped in to pull his friend out, but the drummer wouldn’t budge. His cries filled the apartment and he kept digging his nails in his shoulders and down his arms. Reita finally managed to pull him into a hug so he would stop hurting himself, then Kai just hugged him and cried on his shoulder. After a while, Reita got him out and started cleaning him up. Kai had scratched himself all over his stomach, chest, legs, arms, and shoulders. He was bleeding quite a bit until the blonde got his friend all dried up. He wrapped the drummer up in sum gauze, then picked him up princess style and carried him to the bedroom where he laid the brunette on the bed. Before he could move away, Kai tightened his grip on the bassist’s neck.

“D-don’t go!” He cried.

“I’m just getting you some clothes.”

“No!”

“Kai—” Reita was cut off when the brunette suddenly kissed him. The blonde opened his mouth to oppose, but Kai slipped his tongue in and started playing with the other’s tongue. As much as Reita wanted to pull away, he couldn’t and he didn’t know why. He pulled the drummer deeper into the kiss and started laying on him. Kai finally pulled away for air.

“Rei, do me.” He begged.

The blonde shook his head. “Kai, I-I don’t know. You’re not thinking straight right now. You need to sleep.”

“No! I want it! I want you! Please. Just a one night stand. I need you. _I need you.”_ Kai begged and cried.

The bassist sighed as wiped the drummer’s tears away before removing his shirt and capturing the other’s lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Reita woke up and he felt something heavy on his chest. He looked down to find that Kai was still sleeping on him, so he laid back down and started patting the drummer’s head. He sighed as he closed his eyes and remembered the night before.

 

~~Last Night~~

 

            Kai pulled him deeper into the kiss and started rubbing his body against the other. The blonde kissed back and started rubbing the drummer’s body with his hands, but he soon pulled away. Kai looked up at him with broken eyes.

Reita sighed. “Kai. You don’t want this.”

“I-I do!” The brunette yelled, popping up.

“No you don’t!” The blonde shouted as he turned. He took a deep breath and rubbed his friend’s cheek. “You’re not thinking straight. You need to sleep this off. You’re tired, sore, and very upset.”

Tears formed in the other’s eyes. “But I-I need—” He couldn’t finish, he broke down. “ _I need somebody!”_

“I’m here.” Reita pulled him into a hug. “I’ll always be here for you. I’ll make sure you’ll be okay and I’ll protect you.”

Kai tightened the hug and after a few minutes, Reita laid down with him, pulled him close then covered them both up with the blanket.

 

~~Back to Present~~

 

            Reita looked at Kai’s sleeping face and felt his heart speed up. He gasped.

‘This only happened with Ruki.’ He thought. ‘No, I…I can’t be with anybody else. I only love Ruki. I…I …I don’t know anymore.’

The blonde’s attention was caught when Kai started shifting a little, then a small moan was heard. Kai rubbed his eyes as he sat up and looked around.

“Morning.” Reita mumbled.

The brunette looked down and stared at the half naked man he was on top of, then he looked at himself to find that he wasn’t wearing any clothes. He looked back up at his friend as his face began to blush.

“Um…Rei?”

“Hmm?”

“What happened last night?”

The bassist looked at him with a shocked expression. “Let’s make some coffee, then we’ll talk.”

            Kai had sat down at the dining table, wearing Reita’s clothes, as the blonde sat down with a cup of coffee for both of them.

“What do you remember from last night?” Reita asked.

“Well,” Kai mumbled, rubbed his cup. “I…I remember when Miyavi…um…did _that._ We came here and I cried, then…I was in the shower.” He sighed and rubbed his head. “Everything afterwards is pretty blurry. It’s nothing to worry about and I’m sorry for whatever I did. I get like that sometimes.”

The blonde saw his friend smiling into the coffee cup. “Kai, this is serious. You’re forgetting things and doing things that aren’t you. I mean you broke down and hurt yourself last night.”

“Yeah, I see that a lot when I wake up. It’s nothing. Really.”

“It is. What if it was worse? What if you stabbed yourself or something?”

Kai sighed with a smile. “It’s okay. I break down all the time and I’m used to it. You don’t need to worry.”

“But I’m am. I’m your friend.” Reita said. “I’m going to help you. First, we’re going to your apartment and getting your stuff.”

Kai looked down, remembering that the blonde told him that he was staying there until he moves. He looked up and smiled, which put a smile on Reita’s face. The drummer saw it. A real, heart-filled smile. 

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The guitarist woke up alone in bed. He looked at the clock to find that it was a little past eight, so he got up and stretched. He walked out and heard his shower going, but when he was going to knock, he heard Ruki crying.

_“I’m horrible! Ugly! Stupid! Why? I hate it! I hate the way I am!”_

“Why are you acting this way Ru?” Aoi whispered, but he walked away and into the kitchen to make coffee for him and tea for the younger man.

‘Why are you so depressed?’ He thought. ‘Are you happy with me? Or have you always told yourself those things? Damn it! I don’t care!’

“I’ll make you happy. I promise.”

He continued on and started making breakfast for them. Soon, Ruki was out of the shower, wearing a white baggy shirt he had found, and he went into the kitchen to find the other sipping from a cup. Aoi turned and smiled at him, then handed him the glass of tea he had made. The singer said thanks and took a drink while the raven studied him.

“What?”

The guitarist giggled as he rubbed Ruki’s cheek. “You look so sexy dressed like that.”

Ruki’s face turned red, but he smiled and laughed. “Not really.”

Aoi’s face got very serious all of a sudden and he started walking towards the shorter, making him walk back into the counter. The raven rubbed both of the singer’s cheeks and got closer to his face. “You’re sexy no matter what you wear. You’re wonderful and smart and handsome and…just perfect. Perfect to me. I know it’s been a really short amount of time, but…I think I’m in love with you.”

Ruki gasped. He felt his heart rip apart, but it also felt warm and calm. “Wh-what about Uruha?”

“What about him?” Aoi said before capturing the singer’s lips. The red head shook at first, but he gave in and allowed the tongue to slip past his lips.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The blonde stepped out of his bathroom only wearing blue jeans and drying his hair. He walked to the kitchen to find Kai washing the dishes from breakfast. Reita found himself staring at the drummer’s neck and down to his ass. The bassist swallowed hard, but shook his head.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Kai turned and smiled at his friend. “Well, you’re doing a lot for me. This is the least I can do.”

Reita smiled and rubbed his friend’s back as he walked to the fridge. The brunette turned and found himself staring at the bassist’s strong body. He swallowed hard, but shook his head and turned away.

“You know, I’ll be ok staying at my place. You don’t have to look after me.”

The brunette was twisted around and came face to face with Reita. “We already went over this.”

Kai looked down. “I just don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not.” The blonde whispered. “Now, let’s go get your stuff.”

            Kai unlocked his door and they walked into the small apartment. Reita looked over to find a pillow and blanket on the couch.

“Did someone stay here?”

The drummer sighed as he continued in, so the other followed him in deeper. Kai shook as he opened his bedroom door and Reita noticed. They walked in and quickly started gathering clothes. The bassist gathered the stuff from the bathroom, then walked back in to find Kai staring at the bed, shaking. The brunette gasped when he felt a hand grab his shoulder, but he relaxed when he saw that it was his friend. That’s also when he lost it. He grabbed Reita’s shirt and cried out onto his friend’s shoulder. The blonde hugged him and patted his back.

“It’s ok. It’s ok.”

 _“He, he…”_ Kai cried.

“I know. I won’t let anything happen to you again.”

Suddenly, the drummer pushed him away and ran to the bathroom. The bassist ran behind him and when he entered, he found his friend vomiting in the toilet. The blonde sat by him and rubbed the drummer’s back until he was done.

“I’m sorry.” Kai whimpered.

Reita smiled and rubbed the brunette’s cheek.

 They finished packing, then headed back to the bassist’s apartment and found Uruha waiting outside the door.

“Hey.” The honey blonde smiled.

Reita bobbed his head and the brunette smiled as the blonde opened the door. As soon as the trio walked in, Kai’s legs gave out and he fell.

“Kai?” Uruha gasped. He bent down to raise his friend up, but then he saw how red his friend’s face was. He placed his hand on the brunette’s forehead, then looked at Reita. “He has a fever.”

The blonde picked Kai up princess style as the honey blonde got a bag of ice. He walked into the bedroom and saw the drummer covered up, Reita moving the brown hair out of his friend’s face. Uruha walked closer and placed the bag on the drummer’s head.

Kai opened his eyes. “Sorry.”

“Quiet.” Reita ordered. “Get some sleep.”

The drummer shook his head as he closed his eyes, so the other two quietly walked out.

“He’s stressed.” The blonde mumbled.

“I’ll call Ruki and Aoi, and tell them that he’s sick.”

Reita shook his head as he sat down on the couch and after Uruha called them, he sat next to his boyfriend. He hugged the blonde’s arm and cuddled his head on the bassist’s neck, but Reita pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” The guitarist asked.

Reita looked at the honey blonde and sighed. “Uru, I…I don’t know.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            Aoi had the red head naked on the table, moaning as he sucked on the younger’s hard on. Ruki gripped the raven’s hair and started thrusting up in his mouth

 _“Aoi!”_ The singer yelled as he came hard in his boyfriend’s mouth. His arms made a thud when they fell onto the table, his body trembled as he gasped for air, and his face glistened in sweat. The guitarist raised up to study the vocalist and he smiled. He sucked on his own fingers as he pumped his member, and when he was satisfied, he placed his wet fingers at Ruki’s entrance. The red moaned out as he felt one of the fingers enter him.

_“Please! Don’t!”_

Aoi sighed as he pulled out. “You said the next time.”

“I-I didn’t think it would be so soon. I’m sorry.”

The guitarist sighed again, but this time he walked away and Ruki flinched when he heard a door slam. He sat up and hugged himself.

‘What’s wrong with me?’ Ruki thought. ‘I want him, but I’m too confused. I’m so fucked up. I don’t deserve Aoi. I don’t deserve anybody. I’m ugly. I’m stupid. I’m selfish. I…I just…’

Tears streamed down his face as he brought his legs up to his chest and hugged them.

            Sweat rolled from Aoi’s face as he thrusted faster into his hand. His eyes were squeezed shut, he was imagining that he was pounding inside Ruki while the red head begged for more. He imagined the vocalist’s face in complete lust and pleasure, which became too much. He moaned as he came all over his hands. He took a moment to catch his breath before cleaning himself up, then he walked out to find his boyfriend still on the table. As he got closer he noticed the red head crying. He raised Ruki’s head up.

“I-I’m sorry.” The red head whimpered.

Aoi pulled him off and into a hug. “No, don’t apologize. I’m just impatient. Let’s get you dressed.”

The vocalist sniffled, but shook his head and got dressed before they sat down. The guitarist held him close and rubbed his head. It was peacefully silent until Aoi’s phone ringed.

 

~~Back at Reita’s~~

 

            Kai woke up with a dry mouth, drenched in sweat, and he felt like he was on fire. He groaned as he kicked the blankets off, and when that didn’t help, he tried to get out of bed, but he fell onto the floor. He shook as he got his feet, but before he could take a step, the door opened and Reita walked in.

“You should be laying down.” The blonde said.

“Thirsty.” Kai whispered. 

 “I’ll get you some water, just lay down.” The bassist ordered, forcing him back on the bed. He left, but came back a few minutes later and sat in the edge of the bed. He rubbed the sleepy brunette’s cheek and carefully placed the glass on his friend’s lips. Kai tried to chug the water, but the blonde pulled it away.

“Slower or you’ll puke.”

The drummer shook his head and started to drink it slower. When he was done, Reita sat the glass in the night stand, then wiped the brunette’s face with a towel. Looking at Kai’s flushed face made the blonde’s heart race, then he rubbed his hand on his friend’s cheek. The drummer got redder, but smiled and raised up.

“Thank you.” He whispered, rubbing Reita’s cheek in return. He moved closer to kiss the blonde, but then he pulled away.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t. You’re with Uruha. I can’t ruin.”

Reita giggled. “There’s nothing to ruin.”

Kai sighed. “I…I…with Miyavi…plus he thinks Aoi and I are dating…and—”

“I understand.” The blonde whispered.

Knocking at the door caught their attention and they saw Ruki walking in. He smiled as he sat on the other side of the bed.

“How you feeling?” The red head asked.

“I’m fine.”

“He needs sleep.” Reita said. He forced Kai to lay back down and pulled Ruki off the bed. They walked out and the blonde glared at Uruha before going into the kitchen. The honey blonde walked in behind him as Ruki sat down by Aoi.

“Why did you let them in here?”

The honey blonde was shocked. “Because Kai is their friend too.”

Reita sighed. “I don’t want to see them.”

The guitarist rubbed his friend’s arm. “I thought you said you were going to get over him.”

The bassist sighed.

“You need to.”Uruha whispered.

“Rei?”

They turned and saw Ruki standing there with a sad face.

“What is it?” Reita asked.

“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad. Whatever I did, tell me. I want to fix it. I mean, you haven’t talked to me for the past few days, you keep glaring at me. I-I…I’m sorry.” Tears were forming in his eyes.

“It’s nothing you did Ru. I’m just stressed and I’m tired. I’m sorry.”

The red head smiled. “It’s ok.”

“We’re making tea so, go sit.” Uruha said. Ruki shook his head and walked out.

“I miss that smile.” The blonde mumbled. “I’d rather see it as friends, then be together and see him depressed all the time.”

Uruha looked at the ground with guilty eyes.

 

~~A week later.~~

 

            A few things have happened since that day. Aoi has made Ruki stay at his place so the guitarist could stop the red head’s secret breakdowns in the shower, but unfortunately, they got worse. The more love Aoi gave, the more it affected the singer. He started eating less, he stared off into space a lot, and he would unconsciously scratch into his skin with his nails, or some object, until he bled. The raven freaked out and would yell at Ruki, which didn’t help. No matter how many times Aoi asked what was wrong, the singer just said “nothing”. Kai was slowly getting better. His fever was gone, he started cleaning the apartment and cooking. Reita had to admit that he loved the drummer staying there. Not only did he have company, but he started getting decent meals and his place was cleaner. He stopped lying about how he hated Kai’s cooking so the brunette would cook more, which made them both happy. Uruha saw how happy Reita was becoming and he would be happy too, if it wasn’t the fact that Kai was the cause of the blonde’s smile. The honey blonde was jealous and pissed. He stared at himself in the mirror as he thought about how everything was going. Reita woke up alone in his bed, but he knew where his boyfriend was, so he got up and walked out. He saw the blankets on his couch folded, so he went to the kitchen, where he found a shirtless Kai getting breakfast ready.

“What are you making?”

The drummer turned and saw the blonde wearing only a pair of black boxers. He turned when he felt himself blush. “Um…oh right, pancakes.”

“Sounds good.” The blonde’s voice was close.

Kai turned again to find Reita’s face just a few inches away. “Um…”

The bassist smiled. “Uruha kissed me last night, but I didn’t feel anything.”

“Rei?”

“Then I remembered how much I loved kissing your lips. So plump and soft. I haven’t stopped thinking about it and it’s driving me insane.”

“Rei—”Kai was cut off when the blonde suddenly kissed him. At first Kai shook, but then his heart raced and he kissed back. Reita stuck his tongue out and licked the brunette’s lip before forcing it through them. Kai moaned as his mouth was invaded, but he liked it and he wanted more. He dropped the spatula he was holding and wrapped his arms around the blonde’s neck, making their bodies rub each other. Reita moved his hands down and squeezed the brunette’s butt, making him moan again. The blonde finally pulled away, but started kissing down Kai’s neck and sucking on it. The brunette moaned again before opening his eyes, but then he gasped and pushed Reita away. The blonde looked confused at the shocked drummer, so he turned to see what it was.

Reita’s eyes got wide and he gasped. “Uruha.”

The honey blonde was standing at the entrance of the kitchen, eyes wide open and jaw dropped. Then tears formed in his eyes and anger filled his heart.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The guitarist woke up with Ruki in his arms, which was strange. Usually, the red head is in the shower crying. Aoi smiled and breathed in the other’s scent, but then he heard the singer groan. Ruki’s eyes fluttered open and he looked up to see his boyfriend awake.

“Hey sleepy head.”The raven whispered.

“Hey.”

Ruki sat up and got of bed to go take a shower, but Aoi stopped him. “Lay back down with me.”

“I…I really need to take a—”

“Shower, I know. Let’s take one together then.”

The red head’s eyes got wide. “Uh…why don’t you take yours first and I’ll make breakfast, then take mine.”

“But I want to take it with you.”

Ruki was breathing hard. “I…I don’t know…I…”

“Why are you so embarrassed? It’s not the first time I’ve seen you naked.”

The singer’s face got red. “I just want to be alone!” He yelled and ran out. Aoi’s eyes were wide, but he shook his head and jumped out of bed to go after the younger. Before he made it to the hall though, Ruki had already slammed the door. The raven put his head on the door and knocked on it.

“Ru? What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick or something? Please tell me so I can help you.”

The red head stared at himself in the mirror and tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘You’ll hate me. You’ll throw me away.’

“Takanori?”

The vocalist gasped, but took a deep breath. “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a little bit.”

Aoi stood outside and listened as the shower turned on. He sighed as he heard Ruki start his morning breakdown. He scratched his head and punched the wall. He hated this. He hated hearing the man loved suffer. He grabbed the doorknob and realized that Ruki didn’t lock it, so he quietly opened the door.

“Ru?”He whispered and then the other gasped.

“What do you want Aoi?”

“I want to know why you’re so upset.”

“It’s nothing.”

The shower curtains shot open, scaring the red head, and he got more scared when the raven grabbed him. Aoi squeezed the singer’s shoulders and shook him. _“Then why are you always crying? Calling yourself ugly and stupid when you’re alone. Why? Huh? Why?”_

“Stop it.” Ruki whined.

_“Why the hell are you doing this? You started pushing me away when I started liking you back. You cry every morning after you wake up. Is it me? Are you ashamed of me?”_

_“You’re hurting me!”_ Ruki screamed.

Aoi’s eyes got wide and saw how white his fingers were. He let go and the red head slid to the bottom of the tub, where covered his face as he began to cry. The raven saw bruises already forming on the singer’s fair skin and he sighed, stepping into the tub. He sat down, pulled Ruki into a hug and where he cried on the guitarist’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry Ru.” He said patting his lover’s head. “I’m so sorry.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Uruha was staring out from his balcony, smoking a cigarette. He wiped his eyes as he remembered the scene between  the drummer and the bassist this morning. As soon as Reita saw him, the honey blonde, ran out of the apartment and rushed home. He started drinking some beer and decided to sit out on his balcony. Just as he was going to take another drink, somebody knocked on the door.  He tried to ignore it, hoping that it would go away, but it wouldn’t stop.

“Come on Uru. Open the door.” It was Reita. “I know you’re here. I saw your car in the parking lot…I’m not going to leave, so open up.”

The guitarist sighed as he got up and opened the door for the other. The bassist came in and removed his shoes as Uruha walked back outside. He walked out to the balcony and the honey blonde offered him a beer, which he gladly accepted. They stayed quiet as they took sips from their bottles.

“Uru,” Reita spoke up. “You know, you’ve always been a great friend. You’ve always been there for me and helped me. I know that I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I can’t love you more than as a friend. I…Ruki. God, Ruki. The day I met him, I fell so fucking hard for him. You were the first person I told and that probably killed you. I’m sorry for that too. I loved him and I knew you felt uncomfortable when I talked about him around you, so that’s why I started going to Kai. He was very supportive, he gave me advice, and just listened when I needed someone to hear me. I’ve also felt different towards Kai. Closer I guess. Since you and Aoi were good friends of mine and Ruki was my crush, I figured the feeling I had was like him being my brother. But now…now I think it was more. When I allowed myself to let Ruki go, I found Kai. Maybe it’s the fragile state he’s in now, but I feel as if I need to hold him. It’s like the feeling I had towards Ruki, but stronger. I’m sorry. I tried, but I can’t feel anything more than friendship for you.”

Uruha sighed. “I thought I could be the one to make you happy again.”

“I know and you have. You’ve helped me much more than you think, but I think it’s better if we just stayed friends.”

The honey blonde blinked a few tears away. “I guess being friends is better than nothing.”

Reita smiled and gave his friend a hug. “Thank you.”

Uruha hugged back as tight as he could, then they let go. They remained silent , sipping their beers and smoking. The blonde sighed as he leaned on the wooden railing, but shot back when it creaked and moved.

“Careful,” The guitarist shouted. “It’s loose.”

“I noticed.” Reita gasped as he looked at the two story drop. He swallowed hard. “You need to get it fixed.”

“I know. I’ll tell the landlord later.”

“Good.” The blonde said, then sighed. “I should get going. Kai’s probably thinking that he destroyed the band right now.”

They giggled. The guitarist smiled. “Well, go calm him down.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you.” Uruha said then watched as the other left. As soon as he knew the blonde wasn’t coming back, he threw his beer bottle into the left wall above his tv.

“It’s not fair.” He mumbled, falling to his knees. A single tear fell from his cheek _. “It’s not fair.”_

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            Kai jumped up from the couch as soon as the blonde walked in. Reita smiled and made him sit back down.

“We decided to just be friends.”

The drummer looked down with a frown. “I’m sorry.”

The bassist raised his friend’s chin. “It’s not your fault. I was going to end it anyways.”

“Still… about us… I don’t know.”

“It’s ok.” Reita said with a smile. “I didn’t expect you to want it, but I wanted you to know.”

Kai shook his head and hugged the other, which made the blonde feel something he hasn’t felt in the past few weeks. He felt happy.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven sighed as he quietly walked into his bedroom, where Ruki was sleeping. He sat on the bed and rubbed the red head’s cheek. It was just two hours ago when Aoi walked in on the other’s break down. A little after Ruki started crying, the poor vocalist passed out in the guitarist’s arms, and now Aoi was waiting for him to wake back up. Just as he was going to leave, he heard a moan. He turned to find to the younger one’s eyes opening.

“Ru.” He gasped, sitting back down. “How you feeling?”

“Tired.” He mumbled sitting up. “What happened?”

“You passed out in the shower.”

Ruki looked up at him then at the mirror on the wall across from them and saw the hand prints on his shoulders. He grabbed the blanket and covered himself up with it. Aoi sighed as he looked back down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just lost my temper.”

“You scared me.”

“I know. And I’m very, very sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?”

Ruki turned away for a second then looked back at him with a smiled. He quickly wrapped his arms around  Aoi’s neck and pulled the guitarist on top of him. The raven raised his head up to find their faces only a few centimeters apart.

“Lay in bed with me and hug me and cuddle with me and kiss me.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Aoi whispered with a smile, then planted a small kiss on the red head’s lips. Then they closed their eyes as he closed the gap again and this time, his tongue slipped in for some fun.

 

~~The next day~~

 

            “ _Eh?”_ Aoi and Ruki shouted.

“Yeah.” Kai said blushing. He leaned on Reita’s shoulder as the blonde stared out the window, trying to hide his red face.

“How did Uruha take it?” The red head asked.

“Well,” The bassist mumbled. “He took it well.”

“So,” Ruki started. “You and Uruha aren’t dating anymore, but are still friends. You and Kai are thinking about going out and are pretending to while Miyavi’s around?”

“Yep.” The drummer said with a smile.

“Good.” Aoi said pulling the vocalist closer. “That means we can be more open.”

Ruki blushed as he smiled and Reita even smiled. “Ru, I want to talk to you real quick.”

The red head shook his head and followed the bassist out to the elevators. Then Reita turned and gave a gentle smile. One Ruki hadn’t seen in a while.

“Are you happy with Aoi?”

“Uh…where did this come from?” The red head giggled.

The blonde shrugged his shoulders. “Are you?”

Ruki smiled. “Yes.”

“Alright. If he ever hurts you, tell me.”

“He treats me very well Rei. Better than any partner I’ve ever had.”

“Good. If anything ever happens, you can tell me. I’m here for you and I’ll protect you.”

The vocalist gave a warming smile. “Ok, but what’s come over you?”

Reita shrugged. “I just realized a few things these past few days that I should have a few years ago. Anyways, if you ever need me, call me.”

“I will, but doubt I’ll have to. I’m glad you’re back to your old self.”

The blonde’s eyes got wide, but then they softened and a smile appeared. “Let’s get back to the others.”

 

~~Two weeks later.~~

 

            Uruha was pissed. His rage grew more and more everyday when he saw Reita being so close to Kai. Even though they said they weren’t dating, they were flirting all the time. They didn’t even need to pretend to be dating because Miyavi left to do some concerts in Europe. The blonde was always rubbing Kai’s back, messing with his hair, or touching the drummer some other way. Then the guitarist was constantly seeing Ruki leaning on Aoi and they were holding hands whenever they were together. Uruha wasn’t just pissed, he was jealous and depressed that he didn’t have anybody. He was alone. He sat up all night contemplating whether he should go through with a plan he made the night Reita broke up with him.

‘I will, but not them, no, I won’t hurt him again. I’ll get the other two to separate. Then…then…’Uruha sighed. ‘Why am I doing this? I should be happy for them all. Even if I’m alone. I shouldn’t do this.’

“Ok,” Kai sighed. “That’s enough for today. We need to be back here early tomorrow so we can get to Kanagawa, make the video and get back here.”

“Why do we have to go all the way there?” Reita whined.

“Better scenery for the shoot.”

They all sighed and started putting their instruments away. Uruha looked over to find Reita moving the drummer’s hair to the side and closed the gap between them with a quick kiss. The honey blonde felt his blood boil, but he took a deep breath and looked away only to find Ruki hugging the raven from behind. He didn’t need to look close to notice the singer grinding against the older man and something inside Uruha snapped. He watched as Reita and Kai walked out, he saw them grab each other’s hand when they were in the hallway. Aoi and Ruki got up to leave, but Uruha pulled the guitarist back.

“We need to talk about something important.”

“Ok, shoot.”

Uruha looked at Ruki. “Um… it’s something private. I need advice.”

The red head smiled and shook his head in understanding. Aoi walked him to the door and pulled him into a kiss.

“Go ahead to my place and I’ll be there in a little bit.”

“Alright. I’ll order some dinner then.” Ruki said as he walked out.

            Aoi walked back and plopped down on the couch. “So what do you need help with.”

“Nothing. I needed to talk to you about something serious. I feel guilty enough as it is and I really can’t take it anymore.”

The raven raised an eyebrow as he took a cigarette out.

“You see, Ruki and I both love Reita. We have for a long time now. We needed a way to sort this out, I mean we both couldn’t have him, so we came up with a bet. The one that got you to fall in love with him, wins and got Reita. Ruki jumped right on it, but then…” Uruha paused when something popped into his head. “Then Rei confessed to me. Ru took it hard and ended up using you as a replacement.”

Aoi’s face had mixed emotions on it. Sad, confused, pissed, and jealousy. Then his face turned red with anger and he jumped to his feet. “You’re lying…you’re just jealous!”

“I am jealous, but I’m also telling the truth. I feel bad—”

 _“Shut up!”_ The raven yelled. _“You…you—”_

“How long did it take for you two to kiss?”

Aoi’s eyes got wide and he looked at the ground.

“The only reason you two kissed in front of us that day was because I told him that you two didn’t look like you were dating. I told him to prove it.” Uruha said. He was satisfied at Aoi’s reaction, but he wanted to push it some more. “Have you two had sex yet?  Of course not because he wants Reita to take him.”

The raven gasped and was walking back and forth. Uruha saw the devastation in the other’s eyes.

“Aoi.” He whispered, reaching out for him, but the raven slapped him away. He glared at the honey blonde with teary eyes, then stomped out of the studio.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            Ruki took a deep breath.

‘Tonight’s the night. I’ve waited long enough and now’s the perfect time to tell him.’

The red head smiled sitting the plates on the table and then he wiped his clothes off. He heard the door being unlocked, so he quickly grabbed the beer and sat them on the table as Aoi closed the door. Ruki ran up and kissed the guitarist’s lips, but when he didn’t get a response, the singer pulled away. He looked up at his lover’s scowling face.

“What’s wrong?” Ruki asked as he rubbed the raven’s cheek, but Aoi pushed him back. Before the singer could speak, he was on the floor, gripping his throbbing cheek. He looked up at the guitarist with teary, shocked eyes. The guitarist had punched him.

“A-Aoi?”

 _“Shut up!”_ The raven yelled, clenching his fists. _“You…you bastard. You used me!”_

“Wha—”

_“You used me as Reita’s replacement, you bastard! If you loved him, you should have taken him from Uruha. You should have never tricked me! I gave you my heart! Damn it! I-I loved you!”_

_“Aoi.”_ Ruki cried, tears dripping from his cheek. _“I’m sorry—”_

 _“Shut up!”_ The raven yelled. He leaned down, grabbed a handful of the red head’s hair and started dragging him down the hall. Ruki screamed until he was thrown face down onto the bed and he turned over to find Aoi removing his shirt.

“You played with my heart. So now I get to play with your body.”

The singer shook his head. _“A-Aoi, I’m sorry, please—”_

 _“Shut it!”_ The guitarist yelled, taking his belt off. He tied the vocalist’s arms to the headboard posts and started removing the red head’s pants.

 _“Aoi, please! I’m sorry!”_ The singer cried.

The raven slapped him across the face and continued removing the pants. Ruki shivered when he felt a draft on his thighs, then he realized that his boxers were also gone. Aoi removed his own pants and boxers before climbing onto the other’s chest. He grabbed his limp cock and pressed it against Ruki’s lips.

_“Suck me you whore.”_

_“I’m sorry. Please.”_ The red head whimpered. Aoi slapped him across the face before forcing the singer’s mouth open and shoving his member in it. Ruki gagged and more tears rolled out of his eyes. The guitarist just grabbed the other’s hair and started thrusting slowly.

‘His lips…God his lips are so amazing!’ Aoi thought. ‘His tongue feels so good. It’s just as good as the first time. The way he swirled his tongue around me, got me so excited and—”

Aoi moaned, but opens his eyes and noticed that he had thrown his head back. He remembered that Ruki used him and he felt his blood boil. He pulled his fully erect cock out and moved down between the vocalist’s legs. Aoi forced Ruki’s legs wider and raised the red head’s hips up.

 _“Please, Aoi!”_ The vocalist begged. _“I’m sorry, Don’t! Please don’t!”_

_“Bitch! You think I’m going to let you have the pleasure of being broken by Reita? You’re wrong! You used me, so now I get you virginity as payment!”_

_“No! I don’t want this!”_

Aoi ignored him and started pushing inside him, making the red head scream. “So fucking tight.” He gasped.

 _“Please! No! It hurts…”_ Ruki’s voice cracked and gave out. He gasped at the feeling of being ripped and the guitarist going deeper inside him.

 _‘No!’_ He thought. _‘No! This can’t be happening! Not this way. I wanted you to take me gently. I didn’t want you to rape me!’_

The raven finally pushed all the way in and glared down at the mess beneath him. He grunted as he tried to pull out, but it was too tight.

 _“Fuck!”_ He yelled as he forced his dick out, but then he shoved it back in, making the vocalist scream out again. Then he started rough pace, closing his eyes to avoid the other’s face and he ignored the pleas for him to stop. Thrust after thrust, the begging went down as the whimpers and moans got louder. The singer had given up on trying to stop the raven and just tried to overcome it on his own. Aoi opened his eye and stopped when he looked down. He found Ruki’s  face covered in sweat, tears, it was completely red, and his eyes were squeezed shut. Nothing, but pain was expressed on the red head’s face and Aoi felt a wave of remorse go through his body.

‘What am I doing?’ The raven thought. ‘He’s completely defenseless. I’ve hurt him. I…Oh God, I…I’m raping him. I…I didn’t even give him a chance to explain.’

Aoi slapped himself in the face and blinked his tears away before carefully pulling himself out. He fell onto the red head and hugged him.

 _“I’m so sorry Ru!”_ He repeated the apology, but Ruki would only respond with whimpers and sniffles. The raven sat up and reached over to free the singer, but as soon as he did, Ruki pushed him off the bed. the red head jumped off the bed, grabbed his pants and made a dash for the door. Aoi jumped to his feet and grabbed the other’s arm.

“Wait—”

Ruki slapped him across the face. The raven let go and the singer ran out of the room. He slipped into his pants before opening the door and then ran out of the apartment.

“What have I done?” Aoi whispered. He punched his wall and screamed then started punching the wall with both fists.

 

~~At Ruki’s ~~

 

            The singer locked his door and ran to his room, where he collapsed on his bed. He curled into a ball and started crying his heart out.

 _“Why?”_ He asked. _“Why? I loved you! I was going to tell you!”_

Then it hit him. ‘How did he find out? Who told him?’

He sat up as his whole body filled with rage. “Uruha.”

He jumped to his fee, dug out some shoes, then slammed his door as he left.

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde was on his balcony, staring at the setting sun.

‘… then again, Aoi was pissed when he left.’ He thought. ‘ I wonder if they’re going to break up. I hope not. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have told him that. I—”

Knocking at the door interrupted his thoughts. He put out his cigarette, then walked to the door to open it, and when he did, Ruki pushed his way in.

 _“You bastard!”_ The red head yelled. _“You told him, didn’t you?”_

Uruha sighed closing his door. “Yes.”

_“Why? Everything was ok and you ruined it!”_

“It was the truth. You should have told him in the first place!”

 _“I was going to!”_ Ruki began to cry more. _“I was going to tell him tonight! I was going to apologize and tell him how I felt!”_

It got silent. The honey blonde sighed as he walked back out to his balcony. “I’m sorry Ru.”

 _“You’re sorry?”_ The singer yelled stepping out onto the balcony. _“That isn’t going fix anything. It’s isn’t going to fix what happened.”_

_“Well I’m sorry, but you’re not the only one that got his heart broken!”_

Ruki gasped. “You…you did this on purpose. _You bastard! You’re pissed at Reita and taking it out on me? Don’t ruin my relationship because Reita doesn’t love you!”_ He yelled pushing the guitarist.

 _“Don’t you dare!”_ Uruha yelled, pushing Ruki back. The red head stumbled back and there was a loud snapping noise as he hit the railing. _“Ruki!”_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            After they walked into the apartment, Kai immediately headed towards the bathroom. The blonde sighed. The kiss the bassist planted on the drummer really shocked him and when he grabbed the brunette’s hand as they walked out, Kai pulled away. He seemed upset and it worried Reita. He walked to the bathroom and caught the door before the brunette could close it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Rei, it’s not you.”

Reita rubbed the drummer’s cheek. “Then go out with me.”

Kai looked away, but the blonde turned his head back and pulled him into a kiss. The drummer whimpered, but kissed back. Reita gently pushed him into the wall and rubbed his body against the other. Kai opened his eyes and saw their reflection, their kiss, and his face. The blonde pulled away and smiled.

“Come on.” He whispered, then led the other to his bedroom. Reita started kissing the brunette again and they ended up falling onto the bed. Kai wrapped his legs around the bassist pulling him closer as the kiss got more passionate. The blonde broke away only to throw his shirt off and the drummer quickly did the same. Reita attacked the brunette’s lips and they rubbed against each other. Suddenly, the blonde pulled away and it confused Kai.

“What?” The drummer asked.

Reita smiled. “You’re…beautiful. “

Kai blushed and turned his head away, but kept looking at the man before him. The blonde kissed his cheek, then down his neck and licked the nipple. The drummer breathed out and whimpered as he felt Reita bite down on the nub. The blonde licked it before pulling away and kissing all over the brunette’s chest.

“Your skin is so soft.” The bassist mumbled before kissing down to his stomach. Kai giggled, but bit his lip as he felt the blonde go down further. Reita kissed under the drummer’s belly button and smiled. The blonde licked the small section of skin, then unbuckled the other’s pants. The bassist slowly pulled the pants off the brunette. Reita lifted Kai’s leg and kissed it, making the brunette blush. The blonde rubbed the other’s covered cock as he kissed up the leg. Kai let a moan slip past his lips.

“You like it?” Reita asked.

“Yes.”

The blonde smiled as he sucked down on the drummer’s cloth covered cock, making him moan. The brunette clenched the sheets and thrusted up. Reita licked his lips as he sat up and pulled the boxers off, but as soon as he wrapped his fingers around the cock, Kai gasped. He shot up and pulled away.

“What?” Reita asked confused.

“I-I can’t.” He tried to get off, but the blonde held him down.

“Why not?”

Kai’s eyes watered up and he pulled the bassist into a hug as he broke down. _“Because…Miyavi…he…”_

“I understand.”

 _“No you don’t!”_ The drummer took a few breathes. _“Miyavi never used a condom. He’s slept with other people, Rei.”_

Reita hugged him tightly. “Oh god, have you gotten tested?”

The brunette shook his head. “ _But they said it’s not conclusive. I have to get tested again in two more weeks. Then again in um…three months. The doctor said that I shouldn’t have sex without a condom to be safe.”_

“Ok…um, ok.” Reita whispered pulling his boyfriend away. He wiped Kai’s eyes with his thumbs. “Then we’ll just get condoms or um…just jack each other off. Um…are you taking medicine?”

“Yes.”

“Good. If you ever feel sick or um, find something. Tell me, so I can be there with you and support you.”

Kai smiled and wiped his face. “Thank you. Um…”

“What?”

“Do you have condoms?”

“Eh…no.”

They sighed, but then Reita’s phone rang.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The Raven was sitting on the floor of his bedroom, staring out the window beside his bed. He took the last drag of his last cigarette then put it out in his full ashtray beside him. He looked at his bloody knuckles, then out his window before slamming his head into the wall behind him. He raised his knees to his chest, covered his ears, and laid his head down on his knees as his phone started ringing again.

“Just leave me alone!” He cried out. Uruha, Reita, and Kai have been calling him non-stop for the past hour.

‘Ruki told you guys, I know.’ He thought. ‘You guys are going to yell at me, beat the shit out of me and kick me out of the band. I know what I’ve done. I know I’m guilty. I know I hurt him. I’m sorry Ruki.’

The raven sighed as he removed his hands. The ringing stopped, but it started again a minute later. He yelled out as got to his feet. He followed the ringing to the hallway where he had thrown the phone earlier, and picked it up.

He took a deep breath and flipped it open. “Hello?”

“It’s about time!” Kai yelled. “Ruki’s in the hospital.”

“I-I hurt him that bad?” Aoi whimpered.

“What are you talking about? He fell off Uruha’s balcony.”

“What?”

“Just get here.”

            Aoi walked into the emergency room to find Kai pacing around and Reita in a chair. He walked closer to get glared at by the two members.

“What happened? How is he?”

Kai sighed. “Ruki and Uruha were arguing. They started pushing each other, Uruha pushed too hard and Ru stumbled back. The railing of the balcony broke and he landed on the sidewalk. We don’t know his condition yet.”

“Where’s Uruha?”The raven asked with hatred in his voice.

“Getting his face stitched up.” Kai growled as he looked at the blonde in the chair. “Reita already beat the shit out of him. You are _not_ going to do it too. It was an accident.”

Aoi’s face was red with anger, but then he remembered what he himself had done and he felt guilty.

“Uruha told me.”Reita spoke up. “He told me about the bet he made with Ruki and how he tricked him. How he tricked you. This whole time Ruki has loved me and I was so blind about it. Now he’s hurt. Instead of hiding it I should have told him. Now we have a problem.”

Aoi looked at him. “Why?”

“We both love the same person.”

            Minutes passed, but it felt like hours for the trio and finally someone was walking towards them. They looked up to find Uruha looking at the floor, standing in front of them. He cheek and forehead had stitches in them, his lip was busted, right eye was turning black, and his face was swelling. He was wearing a brace on his left wrist and was holding it in his other hand.

 _“I-I’m sorry.”_ He cried.

“Calm down.” Kai whispered, patting his friend’s back. He made the honey blonde sit down.

Uruha shook his head and looked at the other guitarist.

_“I’m sorry Aoi. I shouldn’t have told you. Ru was going to tell you tonight. He was going to tell you the whole truth instead of what I told you.”_

“What are you talking about?”

_“I tricked him. I convinced Reita that he had a crush on you when he didn’t. Then when we started dating, you two did and Ruki felt so ashamed of himself. He didn’t want to keep lying to you but he also didn’t want to get hurt.”_

“I swear if we weren’t in a hospital right I would beat the shit out of you.” Aoi said.

Uruha shook his head. _“I deserve it.”_

“Matsumoto’s friends?” A doctor had walked up to them. They all stood up waiting. “Well, the only physical damage is a fractured wrist and dislocated shoulder. He has few scrapes and bumps, the gash on his head just needed to be stitched. His skull wasn’t damaged, but we still won’t know the condition of his brain. The very least, he has a concussion.”

They all sighed in relief. Kai spoke up. “Can we see him?”

“Of course, follow me.”

“Um…” The honey blonde sniffled. “C-can I come too?”

The three looked at each other. Yes they were mad at him, but he was Ruki’s friend and he needed to apologize to the singer.

“Come on.” Reita grumbled. They all followed the doctor down some hallways and up an elevator to a room.

            The doctor turned in front of the door. “He’s sleeping so you must remain quiet. He needs his rest.”

“We understand.” Kai whispered. The doctor opened the door and let them into the dark room. There was a heart monitor, IVs, and an EEG machine beside the bed. Laying there was their unconscious friend. He had wires all over his head that went to the EEG monitor by the bed, a cut that was stitched up on the side of his forehead, his cheek was swollen, and his right wrist was in a splint. Aoi walked to the side with the monitors as Reita walked on the other side and they both grabbed one of Ruki’s hands. They glared at each other, but made a silent truce to argue about it later. For now they sat in some chairs, holding his hands. Kai was hurt, no devastated. Just a few hours ago Reita was begging for his love and now the blonde was completely ignoring him.

‘I’ve known how Rei felt about him. I know I was just a substitute. So why do I feel this way?’ Kai thought.

Uruha stood beside the drummer having his own inner conflict.

‘What have I done? I’ve hurt three of my best friends just so I could be happy. Now look. They all hate me and Ruki’s hurt. It’s all my fault.’

 _“I can’t be here.”_ Uruha cried as he ran out the room. Kai ran out after him and grabbed his arm before he could get into the elevator.

“Uru? Where are you going?”

 _“I can’t be here. He’s like this because of me! We’re all fucked up because of me! It’s all my fault!”_ He cried.

The brunette pulled him into a hug and patted his back. “Yes, this is fault, but Ruki still needs you in there for when he wakes up. He needs to hear your apology so he can forgive you.”

_“But—”_

“But nothing. Now come on.” The drummer pulled him back to the room.

 

            ~~Two days later~~

 

            Ruki was still unconscious and they were all still in his room waiting for him to wake up. Kai was worried about Uruha. The honey blonde hadn’t ate or slept and he keeps crying so much he’s puking. Guilt is tearing the guitarist apart. Reita and Aoi were too busy in a cold war to notice their friend’s condition. They would glare at each other then smile at the one on the bed. No matter how hungry, thirsty, tired, or how bad they had to use the bathroom, they would not move from Ruki’s side.

“Please eat.” Kai begged Uruha, but the honey blonde would just stare at the food then look at the singer.  Then suddenly they all heard a grunt come from the bed. Aoi and Reita both shot out of their chairs, gripping the singer’s hands. Kai and Uruha rushed to the bed side and stood behind them.

“Come one baby you can do it.” Aoi said. “Wake up Takanori.”

“Open your eyes. You can do it.” Reita said.

“Please Ru.” Uruha whimpered.

The red head’s eyes fluttered open, making everyone smile and gasp in joy.

“Rei? Aoi?” He mumbled. He pulled his hand away from the blonde and rubbed his head. “Where are we?”

“At the hospital.” The raven said. “You fell off Uru’s balcony.”

“Oh yeah. I remember now. We were arguing.” Ruki’s eyes shot open and stared at Aoi. “Why are you here? I thought you were mad at me.”

“I was stupid and I did something unforgivable, but I am so sorry Ru.”

The singer opened his mouth to say something.

“You’re awake, good.” The doctor said walking in. “We need to do a few tests.”

 

~~An hour later~~

 

            The doctor had made them all leave, but after he was done, they walked back in to find their friend sitting up. Aoi and Reita immediately took their positions by the bed as the other two sat on the lower part on the bed.

“I’m sorry Ru.” Uruha whimpered. “I didn’t mean… _I didn’t mean for this to happen.”_

“I know you didn’t, but it did happen.”

The honey sniffled. “I told them. I told them about everything.”

Reita gripped Ruki’s hand. “Ru, I wished I had known how you felt cause I feel the same way. I’ve loved you since we’ve met, but I never could get up the courage to tell you.”

The singer’s jaw dropped and his eyes got wide.

“But you love me now and you’re dating me.” Aoi said.

The red head looked between them.

“No. You’ve loved me. You two just got together by accident. There was no love in it.”

“What if there is now?” Ruki asked.

Reita gasped. “I…please don’t tell me that I’m too late. I’ve already been told that. I don’t want to be told again!”

The singer was dumfounded.

“It’s too late now. He’s with me.”Aoi said.

“No!” The blonde shouted.

“Guys.” Kai snapped at them.“Ruki who do you love?”

“I…” He looked at the two staring him. “I…I don’t know.”

“How can you not know? Just tell them you love me.” The raven said.

“No you love me don’t you?” The blonde asked.

The machines started making faster noises and Kai was the only one who noticed. “Guys stop!”

 _“Please tell them you love me!”_ Aoi cried.

 _“He loves me damn it!”_ The bassist yelled at the raven.

Ruki grabbed his head as the two started yelling at each other.

“ _Enough!_ ” the doctor shouted as he walked in, but they wouldn’t stop.

 _“Stop it!”_ Ruki’s scream silenced the room. The red head leaned over the railing of his bed and puked.

“Everybody get out!” The doctor ordered. The bassist and guitarist were in shock. Kai and Uruha had to pull them out of the room so the doctor could help Ruki recover.

            “What the hell were guys thinking?” Kai asked. “Arguing when he just woke up.”

Reita and Aoi kept their eyes to the floor. They had nothing to say. They were waiting in some chairs outside the room and the doctor finally walked out.

He glared at the group. “He said you can stay, but until he tells me or the nurse that you can go in there, you have to stay out here. If any of you go in there without permission, we’ll kick you all out and you’ll have to wait for him to be released to see him again. Same if you get into another fight. Do you understand?”

“Yes and we’re very sorry.” Kai said and the other’s shook their heads.

The doctor sighed as he walked away.

            Kai was pacing around in front of his friends. Uruha finally fell asleep, the drummer had forced him to sit between Aoi and Reita to prevent another argument. It had worked, but it also made them silent. Kai had turned and saw a familiar face walking towards them

“Shou? What are you doing here?”

The ashy blonde smiled. “Ru told me to come. He said he wanted to talk to me.”

“Oh, ok.”

 

~~In Ruki’s room~~

 

            Shou had been sitting on the bed listening to everything that has happened and the predicament the other singer was in.

“Well…” The other scratched his head. “Which one do you like more?”

Ruki sighed. “I don’t know. I love them both.”

“But you’ve loved Reita longer.”

“But Aoi has actually taken me on dates.”

“But he raped you.”

“I…I deserved it.”

Shou gasped. “Ru, nobody deserves that, no matter what they’ve done.”

“But, he was sorry and he stopped in the middle and begged me to forgive him. He was just blinded by rage is all.”

The other sighed as he shook his head. They were silent after a few minutes, but then the ashy blonde spoke up. “Well, you could always test them.”

“Test?”

“Yeah. Get them to do a few things to see which one is right for you.”

“Will help me? I don’t want them hate me.”

Shou smiled. “I’ll do what I can.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            “You need to keep your arm in the sling for the next few days.” The doctor said as Ruki was putting his shoes on. “It still might hurt afterwards, but if it’s bad, put your arm back in the sling for a few more days. After your arm is out of it, don’t over use your wrist. That will take few months to heal.”

The singer shook his head. “Alright. Is that everything?”

“Just about, um,  headaches and vomiting will be normal for the next few days. If you have anybody living with you then I could tell them what to look out for.”

“No I don’t.”

“Maybe one of your friends.”

“Sure, you can tell them.”

The doctor allowed them all to come back in and they waited with smiles on their faces, except Kai that is. Before the red head could ask, the doctor started explaining symptoms that they should look out for.

“It would be wise to have someone help you until your arm is out of the sling.” The doctor said.

“I’ll do it.” Aoi said.

“No, I’ll do it.” Reita quickly said.

“Don’t start!” The doctor ordered. They looked at the ground.

The red head looked around the room and smiled. “Kai, would mind helping me?”

“Yes I would mind.” The drummer said harshly. He glared at the singer, something none of them has ever seen. “I’m going to be busy helping Sakai the next few days. I can’t.”

“O-oh. Alright.” Ruki whispered.

“Ru, I said I would.” The blonde said.

“Me too.” The raven begged.

The singer tried to avoid contact with them and took a deep breath. “Uruha? What about you?”

They all gasped and the honey blonde’s jaw dropped. Kai was even surprised.

“You owe me Uruha.”

The guitarist swallowed hard and shook his head yes as he looked at the ground.

“Good.”

 

~~At Ruki’s~~

 

            Uruha opened the door for the red head and brought his stuff in. They told him to might as well pack up and stay with the red head rather than going back and forth every day. Ruki plopped down on the couch and lit himself a cigarette as Uruha continued standing by the door. He was shifting nervously, avoiding eye contact.

“Come and sit down.” Ruki said.

The guitarist looked up at him. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you being nice to me? You should be yelling and throwing stuff at me.”

The red head sighed. “Uruha. It was an accident. I started the pushing, I provoked you. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, but you’re still going to pay for messing with everyone’s feelings.”

The honey blonde shook his head. “What are you going to do?”

Ruki smiled. “It’s not what _I’m_ going to do. It’s what _you’re_ going to do” 

“Wh-what’s that?”

“You’re going to clean my apartment every day. I want it spotless, shining for that matter. You’re going to cook for me, bring me my food, wash my clothes, the dishes, dust everything, wash my windows, and drive me wherever I wish.”

Uruha swallowed hard.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The drive to the apartment was in deadly silence. When they walked in, Reita grabbed Kai’s arm and squeezed it.

“What the hell was that all about?”

“Ow! You’re hurting me!” The drummer whimpered.

“I don’t care! Ruki asked you for help and told him no. That ‘Sakai’ stuff was total bull shit!”

The brunette and yanked his arm away. “Leave me alone.”  

“No! Do you know how much you probably hurt him?”

“ _Do you know how much you hurt me?”_ Kai cried.

The blonde eyes got wide.

“ _You said you loved me. Then you turn around to be with him. I know you loved him, but don’t fuck with my heart!”_

“How was I supposed to know that this was going to happen?”

 _“That shouldn’t change anything! You said you loved me.”_ The drummer fell to his and covered his face. _“I believed you! I…I…you loved…me!”_

Reita felt a pain in his heart. He kneeled beside the brunette, but as soon as the blonde touched him, he pushed the bassist away. Kai jumped to his feet and ran to the bathroom locking the door.

“No!” Reita yelled getting to his feet. He ran to the door and tried to open it, but the other had locked it. “Kai! Open the door!”

 _“Go away.”_ He shouted, turning the shower on. Steam quickly filled the room as he undressed. Reita started body slamming the door to get it open, but that didn’t stop Kai. He stepped into the tub and gasped at the burning sensation, but he stood there letting his body fill with pain.

“ _Please Kai! Don’t fucking hurt yourself!”_ Reita yelled. He continued ramming the door.

Just as the brunette’s body started going numb, the blonde broke through the door. He pulled the curtain open and pulled Kai out of the shower, making them both fall to the floor. The bassist hugged him as the brunette began to cry.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven walked into his lonely apartment and stood there looking all around. He closed his eyes remembering the movies he and Ruki watched together, the meals they together, and the laughter they shared. He smiled knowing that he had been happy. So many memories in that short amount of time made him feel…content. Then the night of the rape flashed through his eyes and it hurt him. It hurt him more than anything before. He stomped to his room and looked at his bed. He hasn’t touched it since that night, nor has he been near it. He took a deep breath, then proceeded to remove the blankets, sheets, and pillows. He dragged them all outside, down to the dumpster and threw them in it. He ran back up to find even the meal Ruki had cooked gone bad on his table. He dumped the dishes into the trash can and scrubbed the table down, before going back to his room. His stomach still felt queasy looking at the bed, and soon that joined the dumpster. He started cleaning up his room, emptying the ashtray, throwing the clothes he wore that day in the trash, and scrubbed the droplet’s of blood Ruki left when he ran out.  He just wanted to erase that night from history, but he knew he couldn’t, so he might as well change so Ruki won’t go back to it. Hopefully.

“I’ll change.” Aoi muttered. “I’ll make life for you so much better. I’ll treat you the way you should be treated.”

 

~~The next day~~

 

            Kai was first to arrive at the studio, then Uruha was opening the door Ruki, who thanked the honey blonde, then Reita arrived.

“Have you ate?”The blonde asked.

Ruki smiled nervously. He wasn’t quite ready to face them yet. “Yes.”

“Good. Do you need anything?”

“Um…not really.”

“Oh, ok…well, would you like to go out to eat with me tonight?”

“Leave him alone.” Kai ordered.

The blonde glared at him, but then saw the sadness in the drummer and he wasn’t the only one. Uruha and Ruki both saw it too.

“Hey.” Aoi mumbled as he walked in. His eyes were red and bags were forming under them.

“You look tired.” Reita said.

“Yep.”

“Let’s get started.” Kai ordered.

They all gulped at the drummers anger.

 

~~Few hours later~~

 

            They all wanted to pass out. Kai had really pushed them today and didn’t give them any breaks.

Aoi stood in front of the singer, who was sitting on the couch. “Ru, would you like to go out to eat with me tonight?”

“Well,”

“Wait, I asked first.” Reita said as he walked to them.

Aoi glared at him. “Well, I’m asking now.”

Ruki swallowed hard. “Um…give me a minute um… I’ll be right back.” He slipped past them and ran out the studio. The two men stood in shock.

            Ruki ran about half way down the hall before slowing to speedy walk.

“Hey.”

The red head turned and saw a familiar looking blonde. “Um…yes?”

“D-do you know where the Alice Nine studio is at?”

“Yeah, I’m going there now. You can follow me if you want.”

“Ah, thanks Ruki.”

“Um, sure no problem.” The singer smiled. ‘Where the hell do I know this guy from?’

They walked down another hallway and the red head saw a familiar person leaving the Alice Nine studio.

“Uh, Hiroto!” The blonde yelled, waving his arm. The man ahead turned and smiled as he waved back. “Thanks, I’ll see you later.”

“Sure.” Ruki mumbled as the blonde ran to the brunette and the singer watched as they walked off, hand in hand. “I know him from somewhere…Oh, I’ll think about it later!”

He continued to the studio and opened the door to see a shocking scene. Shou was shirtless, sitting on top of Tora, kissing him.

“Um…”

They broke away and looked at the singer, who had turned red. “Sorry!” He slammed the door shut and started back, but he heard a door open behind him.

“Wait Ru!” Shou shouted, slipping his shirt back on. He ran to the shorter singer and smiled. “So what’s up?”

 

~~Back at The Gazette studio~~

 

            Ruki walked back in, following Shou’s instructions, made the two men sit at the table and handed them both one die.

“Um…Ru?”

“You two are going to roll the dice at the same time. The one with the highest number takes me out tonight and the second takes me out tomorrow night. There will be no arguing about the winner. If there  is then I won’t go on the second person’s date. Deal?”

“Deal.” They both said.

“Now roll.”

The held their breathes as the rolled the dice and then one shouted when they came to a stop.

“It’s settled. Tonight I go with Reita and tomorrow night I’ll go with Aoi.”

Aoi looked at the ground with a hurt expression, but he raised up and smiled. “I’ll go home then. Have fun.”

Ruki wanted to say something, but he couldn’t think of what and soon, Aoi was gone.

“Do you want me to take you home so you can get ready?” Uruha asked.

“Yeah. When are you going to pick me up.”

Reita smiled. “How about an hour from now?”

“Sounds good.”

The blonde watched as Uruha led the other out and then he realized that Kai was gone.

 

~~At Ruki’s place~~

 

            “That looks nice.” Uruha said. Ruki was wearing tight fitting black pants, a white tank top and a black jacket.

“I want to look about the same on both dates, so neither feels…I don’t know…like I want one more.”

The honey blonde shook his head. “He should be here in a few minutes.”

Ruki shook his head and quickly made his hair up, then fixed his makeup. “You can go home tonight.”

The honey blonde looked at him with wide eyes. “Are you planning on doing something?”

“No, but I have nothing for you to do and I don’t know how late we’ll be out.”

“Ok, I’ll see you later then.” The honey blonde said then got his shoes on and walked out. When he turned, he saw Reita walking up, dressed up in some nice pants and a black shirt. He walked past him without even looking at him. “Reita.”

“Just because Ruki has forgiven doesn’t mean I have.”

That hurt the guitarist. “I’m sorry.” Uruha whimpered and started running away. Reita turned and watched the hurt man run away. He shook his head and knocked on the door. He waited a moment and was about to knock again, but then Ruki opened the door. The blonde felt his face turn red.

“Y-you look amazing.”

The red head smiled. “Thank you.”

“Shall we go?”

“Yeah.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven walked into his apartment and sat a bag on the coffee table as he sat on the couch. He pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels out, popped the top off and took a big gulp. He sat there in complete silence taking gulps of the whiskey.

“I wonder if Ruki would be happier with Rei? I mean, I doubt he would rape Ru like I did. He’s dedicated when dating someone, he’s stronger. I’m nothing.” Aoi smiled. “I hope you’re happy Ru.”

He took a long swing of the bottle and waited for the alcohol to kick in and knock him out.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            Kai sat on the couch looking out the window. He had stayed like that since Reita got home and left.

‘Would anybody care if I killed myself?’ That question has been running through the drummer’s head all day. Then it lead to more questions. ‘Would my funeral be empty? Are they really my friends or are they just using me? Did Reita just want a good fuck? Is he really like Miyavi? Is he going to bring Ruki home and rub it in my face?’

The brunette couldn’t take it anymore. He gathered his things and quickly left the apartment, not even leaving a note.

            He arrived at his old apartment and started up to his room, but when he got there, he saw a familiar face. He shook as he walked closer to his door.

“The hell are you doing here?” The drummer asked.

Miyavi turned and smiled. “I’m sorry, I…I just can’t think straight anymore. After that night Reita beat the shit out of me, I…couldn’t stop thinking about the horrible things I did to you. I wanted to apologize.”

“This is just another one of your tricks to get into my pants.”

“No! No it’s not I swear. I just want to talk. That’s all. I won’t do anything and if I do, you can call the cops. Or kick me out. Please, I just want a second chance.”

“I’ve given you plenty of chances, no more.” Kai said pushing him away. He unlocked his door and walked in.

“Please! I’m sorry. I changed.”

“I doubt it.”

“I swear I have.” Miyavi got on his hands and knees. “One last chance. I’m begging you. I’ll make it right this time. I’ll treat you the way you should be treated.”

Kai sighed looking at the pathetic man below him. “Get up.”

Miyavi looked up at him with watery eyes.

“I’ll start some tea.” The drummer walked in, leaving the door open so Miyavi could come in.

 

~~The restaurant~~

 

            Ruki was laughing at the jokes the blonde was making. It had been a fun night for the both of them. They were just talking about random things, Reita was doing all he could to make the singer laugh and Ruki tried to make the other laugh as well. After they were done, they walked quietly to the car, but before the red head could get in, Reita turned him around. He got closer to the singer, making him blush. The bassist lifted Ruki’s chin and went down into a kiss. The singer gripped the other’s jacket as his tongue slipped in and the kiss deepened. Reita pressed his body against the shorter as he rubbed the red head’s cheek. Ruki finally pulled away and realized his eyes were closed. He smiled, looking up at the blonde.

“I had fun.”

Reita smiled. “Me too.”

“Wo-would you like to come over to my place?”

The blonde blushed and smiled even bigger. “I’d love too.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Ruki woke up and saw a bare chest moving. He smiled and looked up to find Reita still asleep, but then the red head felt…different. He didn’t get the same heartbeat as when he woke up with Aoi every morning. He closed his eyes and remembered Shou’s plan.

 

~~Flashback~~

 

            “Ok,” Shou started. “Go on a separate dates with them. Sleep with them, not sex, just regular sleeping. Pay attention to how they treat you when you’re alone and when you’re with everyone else. Just see which makes you happier. Remember this is about making yourself happy, not them. One of them is going to get their heart broken.”

 

~~Back to present.~~

 

            Ruki sighed. He doesn’t want either one of them to be hurt. He quietly slipped out of bed, grabbed some clothes and got into the shower to think. In the end, he was on his knees whimpering. Reita woke a few minutes later and found himself alone, so he got up to look for the red head. He walked past and heard the shower running, so he went to the living room and sat down to watch some tv. 

            Ruki was soon out of the shower and he saw the blonde watching tv. He was half expecting breakfast being made, but then he remembered that Reita couldn’t cook.

“Would you like something to eat?” The red head mumbled.

“Please.” Reita said, not turning his head from the tv.

That made the singer mad, but walked into the kitchen and started going through his stuff. He soon realized that he didn’t have all the stuff that Aoi cooked all the time.

‘Did he go out and buy it when I was in the shower?’ Ruki sighed and pulled out some eggs. He made scrambled eggs and toast with orange juice to the side.  “It’s done!”

Reita looked over and smiled as he got off the couch. He walked over and was a little upset at the small amount of food on the table, but he kept the smile on his face. ‘Kai usual made enough to fill me up. I doubt this could. Oh well.’

They ate in awkward silence, neither trying to start a conversation.

 

~~At Kai’s~~

 

            The drummer woke up alone and sat up, shaking his head.

“I knew it.”

 

~~The night before~~

 

            Miyavi sat down at the table and waited for the brunette to sit down with the tea. They sat in silence at first, but the soloist finally spoke up.

“Have you been eating ok?”

Kai sighed. “That’s a really stupid question.”

Miyavi looked away. “Sorry.”

“I’ve been eating fine.”

“Good. Um…so how are you and Aoi?”

Kai laughed. “There was never me and Aoi. I just did that so you would leave me alone.”

“Oh…”

It got silent again.

 “I miss your smile. It always made my day, but I guess I’m the reason it’s gone now huh?”

The drummer sighed. “Yeah.”

“You...” Miyavi turned away. “Never mind. It’s late, um…maybe I should go.”

“Wait.” The brunette ordered. “What was you going to say?”

“Y-you…you look good.” The soloist’s face was blood red.

Kai raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Good? What do you mean by that?”

“Um…You know um…”

“Say it.”

Miyavi stayed red and took a deep breath before looking the drummer in the eyes. “You look…beautiful.”

“That’s so unmanly.”

“Gah!” The soloist slapped himself in the face. “I wanted to say sexy and hot and lustful, but I didn’t want to offend you!”

Kai started laughing, which calmed Miyavi down. “I wouldn’t have minded it.”

The soloist smiled. “You’re sexy and hot and lustful and just plan right down amazing. I…I’ve always wanted to tell you that.”

The drummer smiled. “Thank you. It’s gotten late, why don’t you stay the night?”

“Uh, are you sure?”

Kai shook his head and led the guitarist to his bedroom.

 

~~Back to present~~

 

            The drummer sighed as he stepped out of bed and headed to the door. When he opened it, though, the sudden smell of burnt toast filled the room. He walked to the kitchen and found Miyavi at the stove cooking.

“It sticks.” Kai said.

Miyavi turned, showing him watery eyes. “I’m not good at this.”

The brunette giggled and walked in to help re-make breakfast, but in the end kicked him out of the kitchen.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The guitarist was staring up at the ceiling, playing with hair. He looked over at the sun, then back at his ceiling. He didn’t sleep last night. He couldn’t, he felt so alone and cold. He got out of bed and looked at the clock to find that he has few hours until practice, so he decided to go out and buy himself a new bed. He quickly found himself searching through different stores trying to find the right bed that Ruki would like. He found one. A large black, metal frame, firm mattress, and it was big enough for the both of them. He bought and asked for it to be delivered later that day. He quickly got home, got dressed, got his stuff together and headed to the studio.

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde sipped his coffee and watched as the men finished fixing the railing on his balcony. This incident caused the apartment to switch all railings from wood to metal and they finally got the shipment in the night before. He watched as they left, got up and got ready for the day, then he called Ruki.

“Hello?”

“Hey Ru. Do you need me to pick you up?”

“No, Reita’s going to drive me. Thank you though.”

“Ok, I’ll see you in a little bit then.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He hung up and slipped his shoes on, then headed out.

            He stepped out of the elevator when it got to his floor and he only took three steps out before being tackled to the ground.

“Oh shit! Uruha are you ok?”

The honey blonde looked up to see Nao and Shou standing above him, then the figure on him sat up.

“Uh, sorry Uruha.” Saga mumbled. “Are you ok, your lip is bleeding.”

The bassist rubbed his thumb over the cut lip, making the honey blonde blush.

“Are you ok?” Nao asked.

“I-I’m fine.” He mumbled and then there was a flash. They all looked at Shou, who had just took a picture of them.

“You two look so cute!”

They looked at themselves and started blushing. Saga was between the guitarist’s legs, which were bended, he was holding the honey blonde’s hip, and leaning close to his face. Uruha’s hair was sprawled out, he was grabbing the bassist’s arm and his lips were puckered. They both swallowed hard and quickly removed themselves from each other. Nao and Shou giggled at how they were blushing.

“What were you guys doing anyways?” Uruha asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Shou started. “We were chasing him because he ate the last candy bar. By the way…”

“Oh shit, see you later Uru!” Saga yelled as he started running again and the other two went after him. The honey blonde sucked on his lip, as he started walking towards the studio again.

 

~~After they were done~~

 

            They put all their instruments away and started cleaning up.

“So did you have fun last night?” Reita asked the singer.

“Yes. I really enjoyed it.”

Aoi stared at the floor as he listened.

“Would you like to go out again?”

Ruki looked away. “Well, I’m not sure.”

“How can you not be sure?”

“Well I’m going with Aoi tonight. Aren’t I Aoi?”

The raven looked up and saw the red head smiling at him. He smiled. “If you still want to.”

“I do.”

“Then I’ll pick you up in an hour or two.”

“Alright.”

Aoi felt warm inside, but he looked over and saw the fire in Reita’s eyes.

 

~~At Ruki’s~~

 

            Once again, Uruha stayed to help Ruki find a simple outfit to wear. This time it was dark jeans and a red shirt with a black vest.

“Do you want me to go home again tonight?”

“If you want to.” Ruki said putting his make up on. “Uru?”

“Yeah?”

“What made you like Rei?”

“Well,” The honey blonde smiled. “He strong, protective of the ones he loves, he’s trusting, and he’s a really good friend. I hope someday, he’ll forgive me and be my friend again. He’s not even that now and I feel so empty without him.”

“Oh wow.”The singer mumbled. “Don’t worry, he’ll forgive you. I mean two have been through a lot together. Something like this shouldn’t hurt you for too long.”

“I hope so. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you. Drive safe.”

“I will.” He said and left the apartment. He made it down to the parking lot and saw Aoi walking towards him, so he kept his head down as they walked past each other.

“Uruha.” Aoi called.

The honey blonde flinched and turned his head to see the raven.

“Keep your head up. Things will get better.”

The raven smiled and started towards the building again. Uruha smiled and looked ahead as he walked to his car.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            When the blonde walked in, he felt as if something was missing and he soon realized that he was alone. He grabbed his phone and quickly called Kai.

“Hello?”

“Where you at?”The bassist asked.

“Home.”

“Why?”

“Don’t start. You know why.”

“What if Miyavi comes back?”

“We talked and are talking right now.” The drummer said. “He’s treating me better so I’m giving him another chance.”

_“What? You can’t!”_

“You’re not the boss of me. I can if I want to.”

“He’ll hurt you!”

“Like you haven’t.” Kai shouted. “No one loves me Rei. Miyavi will at least give me attention.”

“Kai—”Reita was cut off by the dial tone. He sighed and sat the phone to the side. Once again, his apartment was lonely and so was his heart.

 

~~At Kai’s~~

 

            “Kai—” The drummer hung up the phone and sat it on his night stand before walking back out to the living room.

“Sorry about that.” He said sitting back on the couch.

Miyavi smiled and pulled him close as pressed the play button to continue the movie they were watching. Kai snuggled close to the soloist and closed his eyes, but then Reita’s face flashed through it. He opened his eyes and sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

The drummer smiled at him. “It’s nothing.”

Miyavi rubbed the brunette’s cheek and moved closer to him. “Can I kiss you?”

Kai smiled and closed his eyes as they moved closer to kiss each other. It was soft at first, then the guitarist slipped his tongue in and pushed Kai onto his back. Reita’s face flashed through the brunette’s mind again, but the drummer deepened the kiss. He started rubbing against Miyavi’s body, feeling him with his hands, anything to get the blonde out of his head. The soloist slipped his hands into Kai’s pants and grabbed the limp cock. The brunette moaned out as Miyavi started to roughly massage him. They started getting more into it.

 _“Then we’ll just get condoms”_ Reita’s voice ran through the drummer’s head. _“If you ever feel sick or um, find something. Tell me, so I can be there with you and support you.”_

Kai gasped as he pulled away and pushed the soloist back. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I can’t.”

 

~~The restaurant.~~

 

            Aoi and Ruki stayed quiet most of their date. Neither could find anything to talk about and the way it was going made Aoi fell depressed. After they were done eating, they got into the car still in silence, but the guitarist smiled when he thought of something.

“You up to going one more place?”

“I guess.” Ruki mumbled.

Aoi looked down, but started the car.

            They pulled up to the spot the raven wanted to take him and since it was dark out, they would be the only ones in the park. The guitarist saw no reaction in the singer’s face, but he continued walking towards the park hoping for something to happen. They walked along the path for a while and Aoi scooted over a little at a time.

“Ru?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

The red head stopped in his tracks. “For what?”

“Everything. I made you go out with me, I couldn’t stop you from crying every morning, I raped you, and now I’m trying to force you to be with me when you don’t love me. I’ve been so selfish.”

“Aoi. I tricked you and made you fall in love with me. Now, I’m so confused because I developed feelings for you and I still like Reita.”

“You shouldn’t pick me.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve hurt you.”

Ruki rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about that.”

“Eh?”

“I know you didn’t mean it.”

Aoi smiled. “Would you like to stay the night with me tonight?”

Ruki smiled. “I’d love to.”

 

~~At Uruha’s ~~

 

            The honey blonde was enjoying a sandwich when his phone started ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hey Uru!” It was Saga.

“Hey what’s up?”

“Dude, I’m going out drinking and partying tonight, but all my band members are so lame because they won’t come with. I was wondering if you could possible join me?”

The honey blonde smiled. “Well I got nothing better to do. Let me finish my dinner and get ready then I’ll call you back.”

“Sweet! Don’t take too long buddy!”

“See you later.”

“Alright Bye!”  


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Uruha woke up in an unusual room. As he sat up, he felt pain go through his lower body and backside. He gripped his pounding head and looked down to find himself naked on a blue bed. He looked over to find his friend Saga naked and soundly sleeping beside him.

“What happened last night?”

 

~~The night before~~

 

            Uruha slipped into a simple outfit of a pair of jeans and a white shirt. He put a little make up on, then sat on the couch and waited for his friend to get here, but it wasn’t too long before Saga was knocking on the door. The honey blonde answered it and welcomed his friend. He was wearing baggy pants and a blue t-shirt.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” The bassist asked.

Uruha looked at himself. “Is there something wrong with it?”

“Uh…no I just thought you would wear something more…you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know. You like to show off your body and stuff.”

The honey blonde blushed. “I do not.”

“You’ve seemed pretty down here lately and I thought that going out would help. I’d like for you to be yourself. You can change if you want. I don’t mind.” Saga said with a smile. The guitarist smiled and blushed some more as he headed towards his room.

“Give me a few minutes.”

            Uruha came back out with a pair of tight pants on, black tank top, his hair done and different make up on.

“That’s more like it!” Saga shouted. “You ready to go?”

“Yes.” The guitarist whispered. They headed out and went straight to a club they both knew. They went in, found a table and then ordered some drinks.

“Why did you want to go drinking?” Uruha asked.

Saga smile. “Just felt like it and I didn’t want to do it by myself at home. You looked depressed these past few days and I figured you needed a good time, so I called you.”

The guitarist smiled, but then thought for a second. “I thought you called your band first.”

The bassist blushed. “Eh…I um…”

“You didn’t did you?”

Saga sighed. “No. To be honest, I thought you would say no if I hadn’t told you that. I really just wanted to hang out with a friend that I didn’t see every day.”

“I would have hung out with you either way.”

The bassist blushed and gave a small smile. They continued their small talk as they ordered drink after drink.

“Oo, I like this song! Let’s dance.” Saga slurred, pulling the other away from the table. Uruha sighed, but decided to go along with it and started dancing with him. He had to admit, he like this song and the way Saga moved to the beat. He moved closer to the brunette and started dancing against him. Saga rubbed his hands down the honey blonde’s sides and gripped his hips as he rubbed against the guitarist. Uruha turned around only to rub his ass against the other, making him moan and grip the honey blonde’s hips tighter. The guitarist threw his head back as he felt Saga sucking on his neck and then felt the other’s bulge rubbing against him. The bassist’s hand roamed down and squeezed Uruha’s crotch, making him moan. The honey blonde finally realized through his foggy mind that they weren’t dancing anymore. He turned, breaking the other’s hold, but then he pulled Saga into a kiss. The bassist gladly kissed back, but Uruha pulled away.

“Let’s go somewhere.”

Saga looked at him with a smile. “My place.”

Uruha lead him out and they caught a cab. The driver occasionally glanced back to see them making out and touching each other as he drove to the destination. When they made it into the apartment, Saga pushed the guitarist into the wall and attacked his lips. Uruha gladly kissed back as he began unbuckling the brunette’s pants, making him giggle through the kiss. They couldn’t get their hands off each other and somehow, both their shirts made it to the living room as they kissed every few steps down the hallway. Saga’s pants finally fell to his ankles, but he kicked them off as he continued to push the honey blonde towards his room. When they finally made it, the brunette  pushed Uruha onto the bed and climbed on top of him. They rubbed each other as they kissed deeper and soon Saga was kissing down the other’s neck. Uruha smiled, biting his lip as he felt the brunette kissing down his stomach to his pants. The bassist started pulling the jeans off and smiled at the bulge that had formed in the red boxers.  He kissed it making the other moan.

“You like that?”

Uruha gasped, feeling the other’s tongue run over his member through the boxers. He didn’t hold back his moans as Saga started sucking on the bulge. The brunette rubbed the honey blonde’s thigh as his hand made it up in to boxers, but they moved to the back and rubbed the plumped cheeks. He spread the cheeks with his thumb and middle finger. Uruha moaned out when he felt a finger go inside him.

“Ah, Saga!”

The brunette looked up with a smile. “What is it baby?”

The honey blonde moaned when he felt the finger thrusting inside him. “So good!”

“You want more?”

“So much more!”

Saga pulled his finger out, making other whimper, but he slipped his hand in the guitarist’s boxers as he crawled over the honey blonde. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you inside me.” Uruha moaned out.

“What part of me?” The Saga whispered stroking the other’s cock.

The honey blonde whimpered. “I want it in me.”

The bassist sighed before slipping down between the guitarist’s legs. He slipped the red boxers off, showing the twitching cock. He raised Uruha’s hips and slipped two of his fingers in, making the honey blonde squirm. He moaned out more when Saga licked the tip of his cock. The bassist giggled as he began sucking on the tip and thrusting his fingers hard into the honey blonde. Uruha screamed out in pleasure as he bucked his hips and clenched the bed sheets.

“ _Saga!”_

The brunette sucked down more as his fingers got faster, making the other moan out more. Saga grazed his teeth on the member as he pulled off. Uruha peeked his eyes open to see the other smiling at him.

“I want you Uru.”

The honey blonde smiled. “Then take me.”

He whimpered when Saga pulled his fingers out and he watched as the brunette got off the bed. The bassist slipped his boxers off before opening his nightstand, grabbed a tube of lube and sat on the bed. He licked his lips as he spread Uruha’s legs wider and raised his hips. He grabbed his own cock and coated it with the lube. The honey blonde started moaning, swaying head and rubbing his body.

“Getting impatient?” The brunette asked.

“I want it.” He moaned.

Saga smiled as he grabbed the honey blonde’s hips. “I want it too.” He whispered.

He pushed his member in, making them both moan out. Immediately, Saga started thrusting a slow pace, but Uruha didn’t mind. He loved it. He wrapped his legs around the brunette’s hips, his arms around the other’s neck and pulled him closer. He wanted this heat, he loved it, he needed it. The bassist pulled him into a kiss and only broke away to get air, then kissed him again. He wrapped his fingers around the honey blonde’s cock, stroking it, making him moan through the kiss. After several intense minutes, Uruha pulled away and moaned out. Saga smiled, knowing he found the right spot and he continued thrusting roughly on it. The guitarist clawed the brunette’s shoulders and tightened his legs to get him closer.

 _“Damn Kouyou!”_ Saga shouted as he thrusts shortened and got faster. The honey blonde knew the other was closer and so was he. The bassist stroked the other’s cock harder, making him moan out harder. Their moans became in sync and their breathing got louder. 

 _“Saga!”_ Uruha yelled as he shot his seeds onto his stomach. The brunette started thrusting harder.

 _“K-Kouyou!”_ He shouted shooting his seeds with each thrust, wanting it to last longer, but it ended. He pulled out before laying on top of the honey blonde. He licked his lips before pulling Uruha into a kiss. The dazed honey blonde gently kissed back and then Saga pulled away.

“I love you Kouyou.”

 

~~Back to present~~

 

            Uruha gasped, remembering those last for words. He looked over at the sleeping brunette and felt his heart beat faster. He quietly stumbled out of bed, searched for his clothes and got dressed. He slipped on his shoes and was about to open the door to leave.

“You’re leaving?” A sad voice.

He turned to find Saga with a sad face standing in a pair of boxers in the hallway. “Um…”

“Please don’t.” He looked to the ground blushing. “I’m sorry. I just…I thought that maybe…never mind.”

“What?” Uruha asked.

Saga became redder, but he walked closer and pulled the honey blonde into a hug. “Will you go on a date with me?”

“I…”The guitarist’s voice shook.

“Please, give me a chance. I’ll make you happy.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven was sitting up in his bed, smoking a cigarette, staring out the window with his bloodshot eyes. He sniffled and wiped his watery eyes again.

“I guess I am a lowlife piece of trash.” He mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

~~Last night~~

 

            He lead Ruki into his living room and smiled.

“Do you want something to drink?”

The singer smiled. “No, I’m fine.”

“Alright, well then you must be tired. You can take the bed if you want and I’ll take the couch.”

The red head smiled and followed him to the room, but then stopped at the door way. Aoi turned and saw fear in the singer’s eyes.

“Ru.”

The red head started breathing hard, shaking and he started crying. _“No!”_

“Ru.” The guitarist whimpered. He walked closer and gently rubbed Ruki’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I swear, I’m not—”

He was interrupted when the shorter man slapped him across the face. The red head gasped and covered his mouth with his hands.

“I-I’m sorry Aoi.”

The raven looked at him with broken eyes, but walked past him and grabbed his phone. He called for a cab then looked at the sad singer.

“Maybe it’s best if I stay I away from you.”

“Aoi.”

“You need to leave.”

“Aoi!” Ruki cried, but the raven grabbed the shorter man’s casted wrist and dragged him to the door. “Aoi, you’re hurting me!”

The guitarist instantly let go. “You need to leave Ru. You need to…to go be with Reita.”

The red head gasped, but before he could say anything, he was out the door and it was slammed behind him. Aoi looked out from his glass door and watched over Ruki until the cab arrived and picked him up. He grabbed the bottle of vodka out of his freezer and sat on his bed.

 

~~Back to Present~~

 

            The raven sighed and took another drink from his bottle, then he decided to call Kai to tell him he’s sick and can’t come to practice.

“Yeah, I’m feeling under the weather too.” The drummer mumbled. “I’ll call everyone else.”

“Kai?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever done something so awful you think you shouldn’t live anymore?”

“Aoi, what did you do?”

The raven laughed. “I…I did something that I should be shot in the head for.”

“Aoi,” Kai had a very serious tone. “I’m coming over alright, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Too late.”

“Aoi!”

“See you later Kai.” He mumbled hanging up the phone. He hiccupped and started laughing.

 

~~Last night~~

 

            After the door slammed behind him, Ruki walked down to the front of the apartment complex. He shook his head remembering that night.

_‘Please, I’m sorry! Aoi please!’_

“No!” He whimpered shaking his head. “It was just a dream. Had to have been. It had to.”

His head started pounding as the memories kept coming and they suddenly stopped when the cab stopped in front of him. He got in and told the driver an address and he stared out the window, hugging himself, fighting with himself. The scene kept replaying itself over and over.

“We’re here.” The driver broke his concentration. Ruki quickly gave him the money, then ran up to the apartment and started banging on the door.

“Alright already! I’m coming!”Shou yelled walking to his door in his boxers. He opened it only to get hugged by a crying Ruki.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.”

_“It didn’t happen, it didn’t!”_

“What’s going on?” Tora walked out of the bed room, wearing baggy sleeping pants, trying to hide his boner.

 _“It was a dream! Please tell me it was a dream!”_ Ruki cried and pulled Shou to the ground with him. The ashy blonde looked up at Tora, who shook his head and closed the front door. He helped get the red head on the couch, then went to the kitchen to make some tea.

            “Ru, you told me about it. Why do you think it’s a dream?” Shou asked. Tora was sitting across from them listening to the whole story.

The red head whimpered. “I don’t know. I was fine and then I went home with Aoi. He…he was always kind and gentle and he always thought of me. How could he have done that? It had to have been a dream. _It had to.”_

Shou petted his friend’s head. “Ru, it happened and he said sorry. You said it yourself. He just lost control of his anger.”

“It’s so confusing.” Ruki mumbled. “My head hurts. My tummy hurts.”

“Do you feel nauseas?”

The red head shook his head. “A little. I feel tired. I feel weak.”

“Alright, Tora bring the trash can in here.”

The guitarist shook his head and went to get it as Shou rubbed the other singer’s head. “You’re staying here tonight. I don’t want you being alone.”

“K.” The other whispered. Tora sat the trash can beside the couch, then got a pillow and blanket for the red head. The ashy blonde laid Ruki down on the couch and it didn’t take but a few minutes for the red head to fall asleep.

 

~~The next morning~~

 

            Ruki woke up with a headache worse than a hangover. He sat up with a queasy feeling rising in his stomach. He grabbed the trashcan sitting beside him and pulled over to puke in it. He shook pushing the can away, then he got up and stumbled to the closest bathroom. He turned the faucet on and rinsed his mouth out, but when he stepped out, he heard something from the bedroom. He peeked in and saw Shou naked riding Tora, who was gripping the ashy blonde’s hips.

“So good Shou.” Tora moaned.

Ruki walked back to the living room and laid back on the couch, gripping his aching head. He felt the drowsiness taking over again and he closed his eyes, welcoming the sleep again.

 

~~At Kai’s ~~

 

            The brunette jumped out of bed and got dressed before running out the bedroom. He slipped on his shoes, but then he stopped when he remembered the night before.

 

~~Last night~~

 

            “Please, I can’t.” Kai pushed Miyavi back.

“I-I thought you wanted this.”

The drummer sighed. “I want more than this.”

The soloist scowled, closing his eyes. “What more do you want? I’m giving you attention, I’m talking to you, showing you affection.”   

“Miyavi,” Kai whimpered. “I don’t just want that. I don’t want something that will end in sex all the time. I want to go out in public, I want to cuddle, I want to just lay down and hug. You constantly want sex and that’s what this relationship is going to be based on. I don’t want that. I want to be loved.”

“I do love you.”

“You love my body, nothing more.”

“Kai.” He whimpered.

“Sorry Miyavi, I can’t be with you. I don’t love you.”

“Tch,” The soloist glared at him. “I don’t need a fucking bitch like you.”

Kai gasped.

“You’re right, I was only trying to get in your pants again and I still am.”

He held the drummer’s arms down.

“No!” Kai screamed, kicking his legs, but the other was too strong. “Reita help!”

“Quiet!” Miyavi slapped him across the face. He grabbed his shirt on the bed and shoved it into the brunette’s mouth.

 

~~Back to present~~

 

            Kai shook his head not wanting to remember. He jumped to his feet and ran out the door to his car. On the way, he called the other’s to tell them that practice was cancelled, but Reita was the only one who answered. So he told him and left messages on the other two’s phones. Before he knew it, he was pulling into Aoi’s place. He ran up to the apartment and started banging on the door, but the guitarist didn’t answer. He grabbed the knob and noticed that it was opened, so he stepped in.

“Aoi? Your door was open. Are you here?” Kai shouted. He slipped out of his shoes and walked in. He walked to the back and saw Aoi on his toilet, a razor in hand and blood running down his wrist. “Aoi!”

The raven looked up and smiled. “I’m a coward.”

Kai grabbed the guitarist’s arm and saw just a small cut. He sighed in relief. “Why did you do this?”

Aoi watched as the drummer held toilet paper to the cut. “You know, I really wanted to do it, but every time I placed the razor down, I see Ruki’s smile. Questions run through my head. Will he be happy? Will he be mad? Will he miss me? Will his smile disappear? Then I think how I will never see his smile again.”

“Aoi,”

The guitarist smiled. “Then I think, if we had never met, then it wouldn’t have happened and I wouldn’t have hurt him.”

“What happened?”

The guitarist giggled as tears flowed down his cheeks. “I raped him.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Ruki woke up again and this time he was greeted with the sound of food cooking. He sat up and saw Tora helping Shou in the kitchen. The guitarist hugged the ashy blonde, making him giggle. To Ruki, they looked so happy and it hurt the singer.

“Stop it.” Shou giggled when the taller began tickling him. He turned to get away and then he saw the red head crying.

“Ru?”

Tora turned and watched as his boyfriend went to the other singer.

“What’s wrong Ru?” The ashy blonde asked sitting down.

“Hmm?”

Shou wiped the other’s eyes, making him see why the singer was worried.

“Nothing. I need to do something.” He mumbled, standing up.

“Wait, you should eat.”

“I…I need to go.”

Shou tried to stop him, but he pushed past the singer and stumbled to his shoes where he fell.

“Ru!” The ashy blonde shouted. He ran over to help the red head, but was pushed away and he watched as the other slipped his shoes on. “Please Ruki, wait.”

“I have to go.” Ruki muttered, getting to his feet. He ran out the door leaving the other behind worried.

 

~~At Saga’s~~

 

            Uruha was sitting on the couch as the brunette cooked them some breakfast. Many things have been running through his head since Saga’s confession.

‘I’ve been trying so hard to make Reita happy and in the end, he hated me. I made everybody suffer. Why should I be happy? Trying to be happy, causes everyone else to be in so much pain. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to be loved.’

“Hey.” Saga caught his attention. “It’s done.”

Uruha smiled and walked to the table with the other. He started eating in silence and after a few minutes he looked up to find the bassist playing with egg he made. He was staring at his plate and it looked like he was about to cry.

“Saga.”

The brunette looked up at him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go out with you. It’s just, everything is very complicated right now.”

“I-I can help you out. Please, just one date. Give me a chance.”

Uruha sighed. “I…”

 

~~Reita’s~~

 

            The blonde sighed, plopping down on his bed. He slipped his hand in his boxers to scratch himself while debating going back to sleep or taking a shower. He sighed as he finally got up and got his clothes ready before stepping into the bathroom. He turned the water on and waited for it to get hot before slipping in. He moaned as the water warmed him up and then he started washing his hair. After he was out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around himself, made some coffee and sat down on the couch. He flipped through the channels on the tv and found something to watch. He sighed.

“No practice. Means I won’t see Ruki today. Him and Aoi are probably spending the day together.”

He shook his head and continued sipping his coffee as he watched his favorite show. After that and several other shows, he decided he should clean up his apartment.

“But first, I need to put some clothes on.” He muttered walking to his room, but then someone started knocking on his door. Aggravated that they didn’t call first, he slowly walked to his room. Took his time picking something to wear and changing into it. He walked back out to hear the knocking continue, so he opened the door to find Ruki with his head down.

“Ru, what are you doing here?”

The red head didn’t answer.

“Ru?” The blonde reached out for him, but the singer slapped his hand away and hugged him. “Um… Ru?”

“You.” He whispered. “I choose you.”

Reita gasped. “Y-you mean to go out with?”

The singer shook his head making the other smile. He hugged Ruki tightly.

“Thank you.”

 

~~Aoi’s~~

 

            Kai stared at the other in shock. “What?”

“I raped him. Uruha told me that he was using me and I got so mad. I couldn’t control my anger. It was right before he fell off Uruha’s balcony. I…I didn’t mean to. I stopped after a few minutes. I tried to apologize, but he ran out. I felt worse than scum and when you told me that he fell, I couldn’t breathe. I was so scared. Now, last night when I offered him my bed, he flipped out. He slapped me. I told him that it would be best if he wasn’t around me. I told him to be Reita. He deserves to be happy. He doesn’t deserve to be raped or be around his rapist every day. Reita can protect him, give him the love he deserves and treat him they way he should be treated.”

The drummer looked straight in his friend’s eyes. He saw the regret, the guilt, the pain and the sadness. He saw how bad of shape the raven was in. “Killing yourself will not make anything better. You will hurt Ruki more than anything if you do this. He seems to have forgiven you Aoi. I mean, he went on a date with you. He gave you another chance and it’s not like you completely blew it. You were thinking of his feelings more than your own. You love him and you just need to get him to see that. To see that you regret hurting him and want another chance.”

“But he loves Reita and I told him to be with him.”

Kai felt pain in his heart. “You know, Miyavi raped me.”

Aoi’s eyes shot up.

“He raped me so many times and I let him get away with it. I thought, ‘this is better than nothing’. I didn’t have a lover and I thought I wouldn’t have one, but then Reita saved me one night. We had become close because he would share with me about how he liked Ruki over the years. Then we suddenly clicked and I was so happy because I felt loved for once in my life. Then Uruha told us everything and Reita went back to loving Ru. It hurt so much because that morning, he had asked me to officially go out with him. I wanted to, but his happiness came first. Then a few days ago Miyavi showed up again and he was nicer. I decided to give him another chance. Last night, he wanted to have sex and I was about to, but then Reita popped into my head and I couldn’t do it. I told him I wanted more. He called me a bitch and raped me again. I can’t believe I gave him a second chance. I know you. You are not a rapist. You will never do that to him again. I know that you love him with all your heart. You need to prove that and I’ll help you.”

“Are you doing this just so you can get with Rei?”

Kai smiled. “No. Reita doesn’t love me. Like I said nobody loves me. I see the love you have for Ruki and it’s very strong. I will help to get him to see that love. He may not go out with you, but he’ll definitely forgive you.”

The raven’s eye fell back down. “What if he doesn’t? I won’t be able to live with myself.”

The drummer sighed. “You have to take a chance.”

Aoi shook his head. “I know you want to help, but if you’re right, then I need to face him alone.”

 

~~Reita’s~~

 

            “So, you’re sure about this?” The blonde asked, handing a cup of tea over. He sat beside the red head on the couch.

“Yes.”Ruki whispered.

“Have you told anybody yet?”

The singer shook his head no.

“Then I guess we’ll tell them together tomorrow.” He said, but Ruki kept his gaze down as he shook his head. “What’s wrong Ru? You seem upset about something.”

The red head looked up with a sad smile. “It’s nothing. Just a small headache. My stomach hasn’t been feeling all that well today either.”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“No. The doctor said that it would happen.”

Reita shook his head. “Have you taken any medicine for it?”

“No.”

The blonde stood up and walked out, leaving the shorter man alone. ‘Shou said it wasn’t a dream. Aoi keeps apologizing and saying he won’t do anything again. Was it real? Did that gentle man do that to me? How could have? He loves me. He said it himself.’

 _‘I told them everything.’_ Uruha’s confession flashed through his head.

‘Uruha. That’s right. Uruha told Aoi and that’s why he was angry. He…he did do it. He did…but he stopped in the middle. He was…crying and saying sorry. I was scared and I ran home, then to Uru’s, where…I fell.’

“Here’s some Tylenol.” Reita broke his thoughts. The singer took the two pills and drunk them down with the tea.

“Thanks.”

The blonde smiled. “So you want to take a nap?”

“No. Can we just watch some movies please?”

“Sure, but have you ate yet?”

“No.”

“Let’s get you some food and then we’ll watch something. Ok?”

Ruki smiled. “Ok. Thank you.”

 

~~At Saga’s~~

 

            The bassist washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen as Uruha relaxed on the couch. When he was done, he walked to the living room and sat down beside the honey blonde.

“I don’t have practice today.”

Saga smiled. “So…”

“No. Not today. I have a few things to do. Tomorrow we need to practice, the day after that we start recording. That day, it’s just Kai and Reita. We can go then.”

The brunette smiled. “We have a photo shoot the day after tomorrow. How about the day after that?”

“That’s my day to record. The last day is Ruki’s. We could then.”

Saga smiled. “Alright. Where do you want to go?”

“You’re taking me. Surprise me.”

The other laughed. “Alright then. What time can I pick you up?”

Uruha smiled. “Anytime as long as it’s after nine o’ clock.”

“Then it’s a date.”

The guitarist smiled bigger and bobbed his head. “I guess I should head home.”

“Ok. Be safe.”

The honey blonde got his shoes on and headed home.

            He walked in and took a deep breath. He’s felt better today than the past month and it made him smile. He felt happy. He quickly took a shower and started cleaning his apartment. He went out to pay some bills, look at some guitars, then grocery shopped and came back home. He felt like he was a good boy today, so he decided to take a long relaxing bath. He got into the bathroom, started filling the bathtub and got undressed. Before he could move though, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was covered in hickies and scratches. He blushed remembering the night before. He closed his eyes as he rubbed his chest, remembering Saga’s warm hand on it and on the rest of his body. He leaned against the wall as the memory got more vivid and he started stroking himself. He threw his head back, remembering the brunette’s lips on his neck, his chest, his cock and it made him hard. He sucked on his fingers, then moved them down to his backside and fantasized Saga entering him. He moaned out and leaned on the sink. He thrusted his fingers and stroked his cock faster. His eyes squeezed shut, picturing Saga behind him, fucking his brains out. He felt the warmth the brunette gave him, he loved it, he wanted more of it.

 _“Saga!”_ He yelped as he shot his seeds on the sink. He rammed his fingers harder, but he soon realized that he wouldn’t feel the sensation Saga gave him. He sighed and pulled his fingers out. He felt so warm and wet especially his feet. He hummed and looked down to see water over his toes.

“Shit!” He shouted turning the faucet on the tub off. He looked at the giant puddle on his bathroom floor, but he giggled and blushed. He shrugged his shoulders and stepped into the tub, making it overflow more.

“Reita’s never made me lose my mind like that.”He mumbled. He smiled, thinking of only one person.

 

~~Reita’s~~

 

            The couple had remained on the couch all day, watching movie after movie. Reita kept his arm around the red head and kept him close. Ruki didn’t mind it, but he felt weird.

“It’s getting late. Do you want to stay the night?”

The singer looked up and smiled. “Sure.”

“I’m tired and you looked tired. Shall we?”

Ruki shook his head and they got up. He headed to the bedroom as the blonde turned everything off, then he headed back too. He gave Ruki some clothes to wear, then they laid down. Reita pulled the singer close and held him in his arms as he fell asleep. Ruki sighed. He stared at the blonde’s chest for hours. It didn’t feel the same. Sure he felt the other’s warmth, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t feel protected, calm, or at peace.

“What does this mean?”

 

~~The next day~~

 

            Kai was first to arrive, so he started setting up the studio. He wanted to get straight to practice when everybody got here. They needed to concentrate the next few days since they start recording tomorrow. He was setting up the microphone when somebody slapped his ass and squeezed it.

“Working hard I see.”

Kai shook as he heard Miyavi’s voice. “Get out. You have no business being in here.”

“I think I do.” He giggled, squeezing harder.

“Hey Kai.”

The drummer turned and saw Uruha walking in. He looked around and saw that nobody was there. ‘Just my imagination.’ He shook at the thought.

“You ok?” The honey blonde asked.

Kai smiled. “I’m fine, just trying to get everything ready.”

“I’ll help you then.”

The both of them quickly got everything sat up and soon Reita and Ruki were holding hands as they walked in. Kai and Uruha stared at them for a moment, but before they could say anything, Aoi walked in and saw it.

“So you chose Rei?”

The couple turned to find the raven standing there, looking at them with red eyes.

Ruki looked at the ground. “Yes.”

The guitarist smiled. “Good. I’m happy for you.”

The bassist smiled at Aoi, silently thanking him.

“Let’s get started.” Kai announced.

 

~~Later that day~~

 

            Kai called break. Reita grabbed Ruki’s hand and started walking out together.

“Ruki.” Aoi called.

“What is it?” The red head asked as he turned.

“Can I talk to you alone please?”

Reita glared at him. “Why?”

“I just need to tell him something…private.”

“That’s fine.” Ruki said. He looked up at Reita. “Just give us a minute.”

 “Ok.” Reita said. He kissed Ruki’s forehead, then moved lower. “Can I?”

The singer shook his head, so the blonde captured his lips before slipping his tongue in. Ruki nervously kissed back, but remembered the raven standing there, so he pulled away. He turned and saw Aoi looking at the floor.

“Let’s go.” Ruki mumbled, breaking away from Reita. He lead the guitarist back to the studio. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry for everything.”

“Aoi—”

“Listen. When we first started our relationship, I had my doubts. To be honest, I guess I was the one using you to make myself feel better. As it went on though, I started feeling protective of you and jealous whenever you said another man’s name. I heard you cry every morning in the shower. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I told myself that I would make you happy. Then Uruha told me that lie and I was truly blinded by rage. I didn’t mean to do that to you that night. I didn’t mean to rape you.”

“What?”

They turned and saw Reita standing at the doorway.

“Rei!” Ruki shouted in annoyance.

_“You raped him?”_

“No!” The singer shouted, tears started forming in his eyes.

Aoi sighed. “I did. I let my anger get the better of me. That’s why he got hurt. That’s why he fell off Uru’s balcony.”

 _“No!”_ The singer shouted

 _“You bastard!”_ Reita screamed as he tackled the raven to the ground. He sat up and started punching the guitarist. Aoi took the hits.

 _“Reita Stop!”_ Ruki screamed. The raven looked over and saw how scared the singer was. His body filled with rage and he started punching back. A lucky blow knocked Reita off him, but as he sat up, the blonde tackled him again. They started rolling as they punched each other over and over. Ruki shook as he grabbed his phone and called the first person on his list.

“Hello?” Kai answered.

 _“Kai they’re fighting!”_ He cried. _“You have to stop them!”_

“Hang on, we’ll be there in a minute.” The drummer hung up and the red head watched in horror as his two band mates continued to beat each other to a pulp. Soon, Kai and Uruha were running through the door to see the commotion. The honey blonde pulled Ruki into a hug to hide his view of the fight.

“Knock it off!” Kai yelled as he ran over to them. When they ignored him, he grabbed Reita’s arm, but the blonde pushed him away before landing another punch on Aoi. The raven punched back, rolled on top of him, and started punching him. Kai grunted as he grabbed the raven’s arm and pulled him off. Reita jumped to his feet to attack again only to get stopped by the drummer, but he pushed the brunette back and lunged for the raven as he was getting up. Ruki broke away from the honey blonde.

 _“Stop it!”_ He screamed with all his might, stopping the two men. “If… _if this is how you two are going to act, then I don’t want to go out with either one of you!”_

“Ru.” Uruha whispered. The singer turned and ran out of the room.

“Ruki!” Reita shouted as he jumped to his feet. He started towards the door, but was stopped by Kai.

“No. He needs to be alone.”

“Stay out of my way!” He yelled, slapping the brunette. The drummer fell to the floor and grabbed his cheek as he looked up at the blonde. Reita gasped when he saw Kai looking up at him with teary eyes, but he shook his head and ran out after the red head.

            Ruki gasped for air through his cries as he slowed to a walk, then to a stop. He cried in his hands, not caring who saw or who cared.

“Are you ok Ru?”

The red head looked up to find Hiroto looking at him with concerned eyes and Byou standing behind him.

“Ruki!”

He turned to see Reita running up to them.

“Leave me alone!”

“Ru!”

 _“Please leave me alone!”_ The singer cried trying to run away, but Reita grabbed his casted wrist.

“Talk to me Ru.”

_“Leave me alone, please!”_

“Ruki.”

“Hey,” Hiroto grabbed the blonde’s arm. “He said to leave him alone.”

“Stay out of this.” The bassist ordered.

“You’re hurting me!” The singer shouted.

“Let go of him!” Hiroto pushed Reita back, making him lose his grip. Byou pulled the singer behind him and glared at the bassist.

“Please, Rei…please leave me alone.” Ruki whimpered. The blonde backed off and started walking away.

“Come on, let’s get you calmed down.” Hiroto said softly. They lead him to the Alice Nine studio, but he stopped walking and gripped his head.

“Ru, are you ok?” The blonde singer asked.

Hiroto stepped forward. “What’s wrong?”

Ruki whimpered before stumbling to the trashcan by the door and puked in it.

“Shit.” The guitarist muttered. The singer started crying as he gripped his head in pain and fell to his knees.

“Ruki!”The brunette’s voice was muffled to the red head. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but when he turned to see who it was, he just saw a blur. His eyes closed as he fell to the floor. “Oh god, Byou call an ambulance!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Ruki woke up in a dim, white room. He moaned as he looked around to find himself in a hospital room.

“Ru.”

The red head turned and saw Shou smiling softly at him.

“Shou? What’s going on?”

“You passed out. The doctor said that you got too stressed out.”

“Where’s everybody?”

“Kai asked us to look after you. He said that the others shouldn’t be around you right now and you just need to rest.”

Ruki looked around to find Hiroto sleeping on Byou’s shoulder in the chairs across from him, then he saw Tora standing by the window staring out of it. It was night time, but the moon was being covered by thick clouds. He turned back to find that Shou was sitting on the hospital bed.

“I-I was scared.” The red head muttered.

“Hmm?”

“When they were fighting, it scared me. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t stop them.” Tears started forming in his eyes.

“Shh, Ru.” The ashy blonde whispered. “You need to stay calm ok.”

“Aoi was sad. He was saying sorry to me for everything. He said that he felt like he used me, but then he fell in love with me. He wanted to make me happy. He was saying sorry for the rape.”

Shou sighed. “What do you want me to tell you?”

Ruki sat up and looked at him with teary eyes. “I’m confused. It hurt and it scared me when he did that, but I wanted him to do it gently that night anyways. He’s sorry and I want to forgive him. He raped me and I want to forgive him. I loved Reita since we met. It hurt when I found out that he was dating Uruha and I started to live with them being a couple. Then…then Reita suddenly loves me and I feel my heart pound, but then it reacts the same with Aoi. It’s hurts so much to be this confused _. I…I want to know who to choose.”_

The other singer pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I can’t choose for you. I know this is hard and confusing, but you have to stay strong. You’ll know what to do when the time comes. Just listen to your heart.”

“But it hurts.” He whimpered. “It hurts.”

Shou heard how tired the other was, so he leaned down, making Ruki lay down. He raised up as the red head curled into a ball and silently cried. He petted the shorter singer’s head and started singing a lullaby, making Ruki drift asleep.

“I’m going to head home.” Tora said as he walked out. Shou saw the hurt in the guitarist’s eyes and sighed, but stood up. He shook Byou until he woke up.

“I’m have to go. Look after him will you?”

“No problem.” The blonde whispered.

“Thanks.” Shou whispered before running out after Tora. He saw the brunette in the elevator and caught it just before it shut. He looked over to see the other scowling. “What’s wrong?”

Tora glared at the wall of the elevator. The singer giggled as he walked towards the guitarist and pushed him into the wall. He pressed his body against the taller and wrapped his arms around the brunette’s neck.

“You look so cute when you’re jealous.”

Tora turned blushing. “I’m not jealous.”

“Oh?” Shou moved closer and licked the shell of the other’s ear. “Then why is your face red?”

The guitarist shook, but gabbed the ashy blonde’s waist and grinded against him. He went down to kiss Shou, but then they heard the doors open and they quickly pulled away from each other before anyone could see them, but hey held hands as they walked out together.

“We need to try elevator sex.” Tora said.

Shou giggled, but sighed. “We’ll talk about that later. First, you need to know that Ruki really needs a friend right now and I promised that I would be there for him. I don’t want you to be jealous, I want you to support him beside me. He needs friends right now.”

“I know, but no matter what, I’ll always be jealous when you hug another man.”

The singer stopped. “Why?”

“Because,” Tora muttered, pulling the other into a hug. “I don’t want to see you in anybody else’s arms or them in yours. You belong my arms. Like I belong in yours.”

Shou blushed and smiled. “You’re so sweet. Ruki might be needing a few hugs though, so I guess, I’ll have to be in your arms some other way.”

The guitarist smiled. “My place tonight?”

“Sounds great.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven was staring at himself in the mirror. Studying himself. His left eye was black, the left side of his face was swollen, his lip had dried up blood on it and so did his forehead. He punched the mirror, reopening the cuts on his swollen knuckles and breaking the glass, letting it fall all around him. He started hitting himself in the head as the images of Ruki’s terrified face and unconscious body ran through his head. He rammed his back into the wall before sliding down to where he was sitting.

“Taka.” He whimpered. “Taka.”  


~~Earlier~~

 

            Aoi watched as Reita ran out after the singer. He wanted to run after him too, but he knew he shouldn’t, so he just stared at the door. He looked over at Kai who was wiping his eyes as Uruha helped him up. The brunette’s bottom lip and nose was bleeding from the slap the bassist delivered.

“Are you ok Kai?” The honey blonde asked.

“I-I’m fine.” He sniffled then looked at the raven still on the floor. He reached his hand out in front of the guitarist, who just stared at him. “You can’t lay there all day.”

Aoi sighed, but took his hand and got back to his feet. He reached over and wiped the blood off the brunette’s lip, making him turn away. Kai grabbed a hand towel on his stool and wiped the rest of the blood off. Reita walked back in with his head down, but he looked up and glared at Aoi as he go into the raven’s face. Kai tried to get between them, but Uruha held him back.

“Just let them fight it out.”

Aoi stepped to the side to get around him, but the blonde pushed him back.

“Rei!” Kai shouted, but the bassist just grabbed the guitarist’s shirt and glared at him.

“If you ever go near him again, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Akira!” Kai shouted. He pulled away from the honey and slapped Reita across the face, making him let go if the raven. The bassist grabbed his cheek and looked in shock at the drummer. “Can’t you see Aoi feels bad enough? He knows what his mistake was and he was trying show Ruki how much he loves him.”

“Well, Ru chose me, so stay away from him!”

“No!” Uruha shouted. “Clean out your ears. He said if this was how you two were going to act then he wasn’t going to date either one of you.”

Reita glared at him, but it got a little softer when he looked at the floor. Before anyone could say anything else, they heard a lot of commotion coming from down the hall. They looked out the door and saw paramedics running a stretcher down to the Alice Nine studio. Fear struck through their bodies and they all ran out to see what was going on. They gasped when they saw their vocalist being put on the stretcher and they rushed to Hiroto and Byou.

“What happened?” Aoi’s voice shook.

 _“What did you do to him?”_ Reita yelled.

“Shut up Reita.” Kai ordered.

“We don’t know. As soon as we walked in, he started puking and then he passed out.” Hiroto whimpered.

“I’m going to ride with him.” The bassist said, but the brunette grabbed his shoulder.

“No, I doubt he wants to see any of us right now.” Kai looked at Hiroto. “Would you go to the hospital and call us to tell us how he is?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll ride to the hospital with him.” Shou said stepping out of the room.

 

~~Back to the present~~

 

            Aoi whimpered as he made a shallow cut into his wrist and was about to push it deeper when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and gasped when he saw that it was Kai.

“Hello?” He muttered.

“Hey, Ruki’s going to be fine. He just passed out from stress.” They were quiet for a moment. “Are you ok?”

“Um…yeah.”

“Don’t lie to me. What’s wrong?”

“Um…” Aoi looked down at his bloody wrist.

“Do I need to come over?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I just…I just need to go to bed.”

“Alright. If you need anything call me.”

“Thanks, I will. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

 

~~Reita’s~~

 

            “Ow!” The blonde yelled.

“Quiet you big baby.” Uruha said as he pressed the ice against the cut on the bassist’s swollen eyebrow. “Hold this.”

Reita held the ice as he watched the honey blonde clean up the first aid kit he sprawled out earlier to clean his friend up.

“That was really stupid of you to do, you know.”

“Aoi—”

“Aoi is sorry. He just wants Ruki to trust him again. Like I want you guys to trust me again.”

Reita rolled his eyes. “Uru, we still trust you.”

“So quickly? I tricked all for my own benefit. I pushed Ruki over his limit. I hid your feelings for each other _from_ you guys. Why do you trust me? I haven’t done anything to get it back.”

The blonde sighed. “Uru, you’re a good friend and yes we were mad, but we could never stay mad at you.”

“Will you trust Aoi again if Ruki does?”

“Hell no!”

Uruha shook his head. “Yet you trust me, the one who’s the cause of all of this. There’s no logic to it Rei. You’re giving me a second chance. It’s only fair if we give Aoi one.”

“But he—”

 “He raped Ruki.” The guitarist blurted out. “But he also regrets it. Despises himself for it and can’t sleep because of it. He is filled with guilt and if we’re not careful, we could push him too far.”

Reita looked out the window. “I’m not apologizing, not until he proves himself.”

Uruha sighed. “That’s fine, but tomorrow, you will apologize to Kai. I’m not asking, I’m telling.”

The bassist shook his head. “I know.”

 

~~At Kai’s~~

 

            After talking with Aoi, Kai taped up the last box from his kitchen and carried it to the living room to stack it with all the other boxes. He wiped the sweat off his forehead as he plopped down on the couch. Only things left to pack were a few things from his room and his clothes, but he won’t be packing those until the day of the move.

“I think I’ll make some tea and take a bath.” He gigged to himself as he quickly made it to the kitchen and started his tea. As it was going, he went to the bathroom and started the warm water. He open the cabinet under the sink and looked through the bottles until he spotted the one he wanted. Therapeutic bubble bath. Ruki got it for him last year saying he was way too stressed out. He didn’t care for it then, but he made a note to thank the red head next time they see each other. He poured the bubbles in and watched as they grew until the tub was full. He slipped his clothes off, only to wrap a towel around his waist and walk to the kitchen to get his tea. After he got it, he sat the tea down on the tub’s edge and slipped out of his towel. He carefully slipped into the warm, bubbly water and moaned at the warmth. He grabbed his mug of tea and started sipping it as he started taping a rhythm on the wall with his foot. Soon his eyes were closed and he was humming to the rhythm, but then he heard the sound of a door being locked. He listened for a minute, but heard nothing else, so he closed his eyes and continued with his unnamed song. Suddenly a hand gripped around his mouth and he opened his eyes to see Miyavi there. He started flailing around to try to get away, but the soloist was too strong.

“Already wet for me?”

Kai was able to pull away for a second. _“No!”_

 

~~The next morning~~

 

            Reita woke up dreading the day ahead of him. As much of a macho man he was, he was still scared of the band leader when he’s mad at the blonde. He knew he was going to hear an ear full when he got to the recording studio. He knew he couldn’t be late, so he quickly got into some clean clothes, brushed his teeth, brushed his hair and lit up a cigarette. He looked at the time to find he was already running behind, so he grabbed his keys and quickly got his shoes on. He ran out the door almost forgetting to lock it, then down to his car, but had to run back up to grab his bass.

“Kai should be there first, so they’ll be recording him when I get there.” He mumbled as he drove off.

            He arrived at his destination about ten minutes later and ran up to the recording studio to find Sakai standing there, glaring at him.

“I know I’m late, but Kai’s here early.”

The manager raised an eyebrow. Reita looked through the glass to find the recording room and the drums empty.

“Get your bass ready, I’m going to keep calling that ditzy boy.”

Reita couldn’t help but smirk at the comment. He got his bass out and started tuning it, but soon they heard footsteps coming in. The blonde looked up to find Kai walking in with his head down, which scared the bassist. He’s hardly ever seen Kai like that, especially during a recording. Usually he’s the happy one and the one in a good mood.

“Your drums are set up, so we can go ahead and start.” Sakai said.

Kai shook his head and stole a quickly glance at Reita, but that glance seemed to have lasted for forever. Their eyes met and they both felt their hearts beat faster, their cheeks getting hotter. The blonde noticed that the drummer had a bruise on the side of his swollen face. Before he could say anything, Kai turned away and placed all of his attention to Sakai.

            Reita, Sakai, and the recording guy all watched the drummer play and they all heard it, but only Reita could see anything. Kai kept missing some beats and having to replay a few songs. The blonde was worried, not about the missing beat, but about the terrified expression on the drummer’s face.

“Why don’t you guys take a smoking break?” The blonde mumbled. Sakai looked at him as he shook his head. He hit the intercom.

“Ok Kai, um…we’re all going to take a thirty minute break. So loosen up and eat something if you need too.”

The brunette shook his head and walked back into the other part of the studio as the manager and recording guy left. He flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder and he jumped forward, turning around to find it was Reita. The blonde had a shocked expression from the reaction, but he took a deep breath and relaxed his face into a small smile.

“What’s wrong Kai? Is it what I did yesterday? I’m sorry. ”

The brunette shook his head no.

Reita took a deep breath to remain calm, then grabbed the other’s shoulders, making him jump back from the hold. “Kai? What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

“Please, it’s nothing.”

“You won’t let me touch you. It’s because I slapped you isn’t it? I’m sorry, I just lost control of my anger.” Suddenly, he remembered something Aoi had told Ruki before the blonde attacked him.

_“Then Uruha told me that lie and I was truly blinded by rage.”_

He shook it away. “I didn’t mean to hurt you I swear.”

“No.” Kai whimpered. “It wasn’t you.”

Reita grabbed the brunette’s shoulders again and again, he jumped back. “Then why won’t you let me touch you?”

The drummer started shaking, the suddenly he pushed against the blonde and started crying on his shoulder. The sudden push made Reita loose his balance and they both fell to the floor, but he hugged the brunette.

“What happened?”

_“I-I went home last night and packed a little more. I was taking a bath and suddenly Miyavi was holding me down. I tried to kick away, but he was too strong. He drained the tub and got in and raped me! B-but after he was done and had left, I opened my eyes to find myself under water. I jumped up and tried to breath. The water was freezing and I was still in my tub. There wasn’t any sign that he was there. It felt so real. I keep seeing him everywhere, but he’s not there. I’m so scared.”_

Reita hugged him tightly. “Shh, calm down. I won’t let him hurt you. I promise. You can come back to my place anytime.”

_“B-but I keep seeing him! Rei I’m so scared.”_

“You’re letting your fears get the best of you. Just tell yourself he’s not there and if you need to, call me. I’ll come over and make sure he leaves.”

Kai sniffled, but shook his head.

“Alright.” The blonde whispered, rubbing his friend’s head. “Calm down.”

The drummer breathed in Reita’s scent and started relaxing.

 

~~The hospital~~

 

            Ruki took a deep breath as he woke from his deep slumber. His hair was sticking up all over the place as he sat up in the bed. He looked around to find himself alone in the room, so he got out of the bed and walked over to the window. The sun was at angle, showing that it was late in the morning, but the singer didn’t care. He felt a lot better and the view of the city comforted him. The sun made the fog look orange in the streets, few cars were out, but a lot of people were walking around, probably going to or from work. Birds were flying around, the wind blew the planted trees on the sidewalks, and it just seemed like a peaceful morning.

“You’re up.”

Ruki turned to see Byou walking in with a Coke can and a nurse behind with a tray.

“You need to lay down and eat.” The nurse ordered. The red head sighed, but shook his head and got back into bed as she sat the tray down on the table. She moved it over his lap then left the two men alone.

“Wasn’t Hiroto here too?” Ruki asked before taking a bite of his muffin.

“Yeah, but he and his band had to do a photo shoot.”

“Oh.”

Byou sat in one of the chairs. “Um…so, Aoi was wondering if he could come and finish talking to you. Kai told me not to let any of them come in until you were being released.”

“I don’t mind.”

He shook his head as he pulled out his phone and walked out of the room. When he came back in, they sat in silence as the red head finished eating. About ten minutes passed when they heard knocking on the door. Byou waved for the person to come in and the singer looked up to see that it was Aoi. He looked at the blonde in the chair, who took a minute to realize that he should leave the room. After he walked out, Ruki sat Indian style and waited for the raven to move.

“Sit.” The singer said as he patted the bed. Aoi’s eyes didn’t leave the floor as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“So?”

The guitarist shook as he slowly raised his head, finally making eye contact with the other. “I love you.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Ruki stared at the guitarist in shock, but before he could say anything, the other started speaking.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to pull you away from Reita. I just need you to know that I really do love you. I’ll do anything for you and I’ll protect you. I just…I want you to feel safe whenever I’m near you. I want you to feel ok with us hanging out or being alone.”

“Aoi, we’re alone right now.”

The raven blushed. “We’re in a hospital, it doesn’t count.”

Ruki raised an eyebrow, but shook his head for the other to continue.

“I want you to be able to trust me again. I don’t know how I can get it that way, but I…I-I guess I felt like I needed to tell you that.”

The red head smiled. “Thanks.”

The guitarist looked at him with a shocked expression, which made him giggle. Aoi blushed and turned his head to the floor, which made Ruki giggle more. Soon, they fell into a comfortable silence, but the singer broke it when he started humming. Aoi loved hearing him hum, sing, and laugh. He took advantage of this and listened, concentrated on the tune. He started imagining playing the guitar and moved his fingers as if they were pressing the strings on the bed. Ruki felt his eyes getting heavy, so he closed them and continued his song, but he started taking breaks in it. Aoi noticed and turned to find the red head laying back down with his eyes closed. The raven got off the bed and walked over to gently pet the singer’s head. Ruki opened his eye and felt his heart race from seeing Aoi over him, but it wasn’t fear. It was excitement. The guitarist rubbed his thumb over the red head’s cheek and took a deep breath.

“You need to rest. I’ll see you when you get out ok.”

Ruki gave a small smile as he shook his head up and down. Aoi gave a small smile in return before turning away and walking out of the room. Ruki sighed as he turned to look out the window.

‘Those lips. Those eyes. That smile. That look.’ The singer thought. ‘So soft and gentle.’

“You awake?” Byou whispered as he walked in.

Ruki turned back over and shook his head.

“Aoi looked…happy, but sad.”

The singer sat up with a frown on his face. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Hmm? About what?”

            The singer told him about everything that happened up to this point as the blonde sat on the bed listening. The taller singer gave Ruki a reassuring smile afterwards.

“Well, that’s a pretty big pickle you guys got into.”

“Pickle?”

Byou shrugged his shoulders. “A mess.”

The red head sighed. “I know. I wish I knew what to do. Who to pick.”

The blonde smiled. “I’ll tell you a secret. When I first met Hiroto, I knew that we were going to be good friends. After a few months, I found out I was right. Well, I started hanging out with him more than my boyfriend. I started feeling things for Hiroto and then one night, we started making out. So we decided to go on a few dates. My boyfriend noticed and we fought about it. I decided to disappear for a couple of days to think things through. Then I thought of something. Who would make me feel better? So I had sex with Hiroto. Turns out, I did nothing but call out his name, not my boyfriend’s.”

“Uh huh.”

The taller singer smiled. “Have sex with them.”

“Eh?” The red head shouted. “Now hang on a minute. Sex is definitely not the right way to go about this. I don’t want them thinking that I’m using them for a good fuck.”

Byou rolled his eyes. “It’s not about the sex. It’s who think of during the sex. Close your eyes and look at the face that pops into your mind first as you’re uh…are you top or bottom?”

Ruki turned red and mumbled. “Bottom.”

“Right, so when he enters you, just let the person pop in your head and imagine him doing it. If it feels right, then you found your man.”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if it makes everything worse?”

Byou smiled. “Then I’ll take responsibility. I’ll tell them that I told you that it was the only way or something like that. That I convinced you to do it. What do you say?”

The red head looked down at his hands.

 

~~At the recording studio~~

 

            Reita struck the last note of the song and allowed it to fade out before taking a breath.

“Alright!” The manager shouted. “We’re done! Good job!”

The blonde bobbed his head before walking out of the glass room to see Kai giving him a thumbs up and a smile.

“Remind Aoi and Uruha to be here on time tomorrow.” Sakai said.

“No problem.” Kai giggled. He waited for Reita to put up his bass and walked out with him.

“Want to go get some lunch?”

The drummer raised an eyebrow at him. “Lunch?”

“Late lunch, early dinner. Whichever.”

“Sure, you’re buying.”

The blonde laughed, but shook his head. They decided on a place before walking to their cars and leaving the parking lot. They parked beside each other at the restaurant. It was an American place that they’ve been wanting to try out. They walked in and got a table with menus, then ordered some drinks.

“So are you going to talk to Ruki tonight?” Kai started.

The blonde smiled. “Yeah. I’m going to see if he can be discharged too.”

“Good.”

They fell silent for a while until the waiter came by and took their orders. Kai kept his head down or looked out the window, avoiding eye contact with the blonde. Reita noticed and decided not to say anything, but he kept a soft stare on his friend . The brunette stole a glance of the bassist and saw him staring. He quickly turned his attention out the window to his car, which made him gasp. He saw Miyavi standing there, stroking the antenna, licking his lips and rubbing his chest. Chills went through Kai’s body when the soloist wiggled his finger. The drummer’s breathing got faster as fear shot through his body. He didn’t even notice the plate being sat in front of him. Reita waited for the waiter to walk away before saying anything.

“Kai?”

The brunette turned and faced the worried bassist.

“Are you ok?”

Kai gave a small grin before gripping his hair with one hand and letting a whimper slip past his lips. “I think I’m going crazy.”

Reita’s eyes got wide. “Why would you say that?”

“Look at my car.” The drummer ordered, so the blond did. “Do you see Miyavi?”

“No.”

“I do. He’s fucked me up Rei. I can’t think straight. I don’t know if he’s really around me or not.”

 “If you need to, you can stay with me again.”

Kai shook his head no. “I’m moving my stuff the day after tomorrow.”

“Still, I don’t think you should be alone tonight.”

The drummer looked at him and saw him blush a little. The brunette felt his heart race, but took a deep breath to try to calm down.

He smiled. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

With that, they started eating their steak, well tried to. They weren’t exactly used to the utensils, but managed. After they were done, they paid, then headed over to Reita’s place. As they were walking into the apartment, they both thought about Ruki. Remembering that Reita was going to visit him to see if he could be discharged. Kai didn’t want to remind him. For once, he wanted something for himself and that was to have time with the blonde, so he was going to be selfish for once. He ignored everything about Ruki. The bassist, also remembered the red head and what he was going to do, but he decided not to when he was driving here. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t want to see or be with Ruki right then. He wanted to be with Kai.

“I’ll get you some pajamas.” The blonde said, closing the door. Kai shook his head and sat down on the couch as he waited for his host to bring him something. Reita got him a baggy shirt and loose shorts to wear, then started making some tea. It wasn’t too much longer before they were yawning and rubbing their eyes.

“It’s been a long day, why don’t we get some rest?” Kai asked.

Reita smiled. “Sure.”He got up and was about to go grab a blanket, but stopped. “It’s chilly tonight. Why don’t we sleep in the bed?”

The drummer blushed and so did the bassist. Kai smiled, knowing he wasn’t going to get another chance. “Ok.”

He skipped past the blonde to the bedroom and jumped on the bed. Reita giggled as he walked in, but then it was interrupted when a pillow was thrown into his face. He heard laughter and looked up to find Kai laughing with another pillow in hand. The blonde laughed and grabbed the pillow off the ground before jumping on the bed. He smacked the brunette with the white, soft pillow, but got hit return. They laughed as they continued hitting each other until Reita yanked the pillow away from the other and hit him with the pillow. They gasped for air as they laughed and Reita fell on the drummer as they continued to giggle. After a few minutes, Reita raised up and stared down at the blushing brunette. The blonde swallowed hard. He hesitated, but leaned down ever so slowly as they both held their breathes. Kai couldn’t take it, he shot up and captured the blonde’s lips. Reita grabbed a fistful of the brunette’s hair and pulled him deeper in the kiss. The drummer wrapped his arms around the blonde’s neck as the kiss got rougher. The bassist rubbed his hand down the brunette’s side. They started gasping, then pulled away to breath. Reita sat up and stared down at the drummer. Kai’s eyes got wide and he gasped.

“Oh, Rei I-I’m sorry.”

The blonde pulled away and got off the bed. The brunette watched with tears in his eyes as Reita walked to the door and turned the light off. He saw the bassist grab the door, but he turned to his side and started wiping his tears away. He heard the door shut, but before he could let out a whimper, he felt the bed dip. Before he could turn to look, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him, but he turned his head to find Reita holding him. He turned back with a smile. He felt safe in those strong arms, warm against this body, and relaxed to be with the blonde.

            Reita woke up the next morning and smiled to find the drummer still in his arms. He took a deep breath to take in Kai’s smell before letting him go. The blonde quietly stepped out of bed, covered the brunette up more, grabbed some clothes, and headed for the bathroom. He closed the door and started the shower then got undressed. He sighed as he stepped into the warm water. He shook as goose bumps  covered his body, but he went on and grabbed his soap and started washing himself as he started thinking. Thinking about Ruki and Kai. He sighed not knowing what he wanted anymore.

‘Ruki, I liked him since we’ve met. Kai, he was always there for me, picking me up when I was down. His smile started brightening up my days. He’s so gentle and caring. He cooks and eats with me. We talk and goof off.’

The blonde sighed. He turned the shower off, dried off and got dressed. When he stepped out, the smell of sausage and eggs filled his nose. He smiled.

“Smells good.” He said walking into the kitchen, but found it empty. “Kai?”

He looked around for a moment before spotting a note on the table beside the plate of food. He picked it up and quickly read it.

‘Rei, I’m sorry about last night. I hope I didn’t hurt our friendship. I can be pretty stupid sometimes, so you can forget that it ever happened. I hope you do and I hope you like the breakfast. I’ll see you later.  –Kai.’

Reita sighed. “Yutaka.”

 

~~The hospital~~

 

            Ruki woke up late that day. He seemed exhausted, since he went to sleep right after his and Byou’s conversation. He moaned as he turned on his back, but then he noticed someone sitting in the chair across the room. He sat up and rubbed his eyes to see who it was.

“Kai?”

The brunette lifted his head from the magazine he was reading and smiled. “Hey sleepy head. Feeling better?”

The red head shook his head yes.

“That’s good. You ready to get out of here?”

“Yeah. I’m sick of being in here.”

Kai giggled. “Well, Reita should be coming by to pick you up.”

Ruki’s eyes got wide and he looked away.

“Ru? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” He said with a sad smile.  “Have they made up yet?”

The drummer sighed. “They haven’t even talked to each other. I doubt Reita will talk to him.”

The singer shook his head. “Aoi came by yesterday and we finished talking. I…I want to forgive him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Everyone deserves a second chance. I know he’s sorry and I know he’ll do anything to earn my trust again.”

Kai smiled. “Then I guess Reita will just have to get over it huh?”

“Yep.”

“I’m going to head home. I need to do a few more things before I move tomorrow. Byou’s here. He went to look for Hiroto though. Make sure they know you’re leaving.”

“Alright.”

The brunette hugged the singer, then headed out the door, leaving Ruki all alone.

 

~~The recording studio~~

 

            They were taking a short break so Aoi could rest from playing. He and Uruha were standing outside smoking, well the honey blonde was mostly texting. The raven notice how happy the other guitarist has been. Most the texts he gets makes him giggle and laugh.

“So, whose got you so happy?” Aoi asked.

Uruha looked at him with a smile. “Well, it’s not official, but this guy wants me to go out with him. I told him that we could go on a date tomorrow. He’s been texting me today just to see how I was doing and we started talking about random stuff.”

The raven smiled. “That’s good. If he makes you happy, then you should give him a chance.”

“You think?”

Aoi shook his head yes. “So who is it?”

“Well…I was going to wait to see if it worked out, but I guess I could tell you. It’s…” His face got blood red. “I-it’s Saga.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s…well unexpected, but that’s great. I wish you two the best of luck then.”

“Thanks.”

Aoi sighed. “We should head back in.”

The other shook his head and they started walking back, but then the honey blonde’s phone went off. “Go ahead.”

He waited until the raven was walked away before answering.

“Hello?”

“Hey Uru.” It was Kai.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Why?”

“I need help moving my stuff out.”

Uruha sighed. “I guess, but um…I had a date.”

“Oh, never mind then.”

“No, no. I’ll come over and help. You don’t mind me bringing him do you. I’d like for you to meet him.”

“Sure and I’ll make it up to you.” Kai said.

“No problem. Oh, I have to get back to the studio.”

“Oh, sorry bye.”

“Bye.”

 

~~The hospital.~~

 

            Ruki was buckling his pants when he heard knocking on the door. He turned to find Reita standing there, smiling.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah. Oh, Byou is looking for Hiroto, then he should be coming back up. We should wait so they don’t come here for no reason.”

“No need.”

“Hmm?”

Reita blushed.

 

~~A few minutes earlier.~~

 

            The blonde decide to go to the restroom before going to Ruki’s room. He walked and started doing his business when he started hear little moans.

“Shh.”

Reita’s eye twitched. He finished up, washed his hands then walked to the stall. “Byou! Hiroto! Seriously?”

 _“Mmm Yes!”_ Hiroto shouted.

The blonde was letting the curiosity get the better of him and he took a peek. Byou had Hiroto pinned against the wall, the brunette’s leg was lifted in the air and the singer was pounding in him. The blonde attacked the guitarist’s lips as he started thrusting faster.

 

~~Back to present~~

 

            “Earth to Rei?”

The blonde shook his head. “I ran into them and told them I was taking you home.”

“Ok.”

They proceeded downstairs to the front counter where a few nurses were at. They got him checked out, then headed out to Reita’s car.

“Can you take me to your place? I don’t feel like being at home.” Ruki mumbled.

“Uh…sure.”

 

~~Reita’s apartment.~~

 

            The couple walked in and Ruki laid down on the couch on his stomach.

“You ok?” Reita asked. “Do you need anything?”

The other sighed. “ Yes I’m ok and no, I don’t need anything. Can we lay on the bed though?”

“Sure.” The blonde knew something was up, but he really didn’t want to bother asking the other. They walked to the bedroom and laid down on the bed. Reita was flat on his back as Ruki was on his side. The red head scooted over and started rubbing the blonde’s chest.

“Rei?” He whispered.

“Hmm?”

“Kiss me.”

The bassist’s breath hitched, but he stayed calm. He rolled on his side and pecked the other’s lips, before gently kissing them. Ruki slipped his tongue in the other’s mouth, but got a small reaction. He pulled away and sighed.

“Do me.”

“What?” Reita asked as he sat up.

“Have sex with me.”

The blonde swallowed hard. He didn’t want to hurt the other’s feelings, but he also felt very uncomfortable. He climbed over the red head and pulled him into a shaky kiss. Their hands started exploring each other, feeling every inch of the other. They tried to deepen the kiss, but they could only do it soft and innocently. Ruki unbuckled the blonde’s pants and slipped a hand in to start massaging him. Reita slipped his hand into the redhead’s pants to mimic him. They kissed and grinded, but no matter what, they couldn’t get hard. Reita sat up and punched the mattress. His face was red from embarrassment. Ruki swallowed hard for what he was about to do. He wrapped his other arm around the blonde ‘s neck and pulled him closer as he continued stoking the blonde.

“Think of Kai.” He whispered in the bassist’s ear. Reita gasped, but before he could say anything, Ruki continued. “He’s laying in your bed naked. Stroking himself, waiting for you, begging for you.”

Reita’s face burned from the imagines flashing through his head. He closed his eyes and moaned out as felt himself getting excited.

“He’s climbing over you, kissing down your neck, to your stomach, then here.” The red head squeezed his hand, making him moan. “He wraps his lips around you. His moist mouth engulfs you, taking you inch by inch inside him. He slowly bobs his head, making it nice…and…wet.”

Reita whimpered and started thrusting into the singer’s hand.

“You get on top of him and started kissing him. Stroking him.” As if Ruki was controlling him with words, the blonde kissed him very passionately as he started stroking the singer’s member again. The red head closed his eyes and imagined Aoi on top of him, playing the same role. The thought made Ruki moan out as he got hard. Reita pulled away only to start kissing down the red head’s neck. Soon, their clothes were on the floor and the blonde was attacking Ruki’s chest. He bit down on the singer’s nipple as he rubbed the other with his thumb. Ruki squeezed his eyes shut, picturing Aoi’s plump, soft lips on his skin. The raven’s hands caressing him, holding him, stroking him. Reita placed kisses all over the red head’s chest before slowly making a trail of kisses to his naval. He kissed it before licking the skin down to the vocalist’s pants. He grabbed the younger’s cock through the pants and squeezed it, making the red head moan. He massaged it for a few minutes, then unbuckled the pants and threw them to the side. Reita sat up and placed Ruki’s legs on his sides, so that he was between them. He grabbed the other’s boxers and slowly removed them from each leg before throwing them over with the rest of the clothes. He looked down at the red head, but closed his eyes and pictured Kai laying there. He laid on his side and quickly removed his pants, then got back on his knees. Ruki looked up at the blonde and closed his eyes as the bassist crawled over him. He pictured Aoi kissing him, not Reita, Aoi rubbing their cocks together, not Reita, Aoi lifting his hips, not Reita. The blonde grabbed the lube and a condom out of his night stand, then kissed down the other’s torso before sitting back up. He slipped the condom on then squirted some lube on his fingers and coated his covered cock. He squeezed some more onto his fingers and rubbed it over the other’s entrance. Ruki whimpered when he felt a digit go inside him, but he relaxed and it was soon back out. The blonde placed himself and started pushing in, making the singer cry out in pain. The red head squeezed the sheets as images of Aoi breaking him ran through his head. Reita gasped and shivers ran through his body from the other’s tightness. The blonde waited a minute for him to adjust, then he slowly pulled out and thrusted back in. Ruki whimpered with each thrust, but started relaxing as the slow gentle thrusts continued. He grabbed himself and started stroking his member as Reita started thrusting a little faster. The blonde leaned over and planted and kiss on the red head’s forehead, then his cheek, then his lips. They slipped their tongues into each other’s mouths, exploring each other, enjoying each other. Reita sat up as he started thrusting a little harder and a little faster. Ruki started moaning out louder and pushed against the thrusts. The blonde grabbed hips and started going faster and faster, then started slowing down. After a few slow, gentle thrusts, Reita pulled out, making the other whimper, but he turned Ruki over on his stomach and pulled his hips up. The singer got onto his knees and took a deep breath as he felt the other reentering him. He moaned out and Reita started his slow pace again. The red head gripped his own cock and started pumping it again.

 _“Oh! Faster Aoi!”_ Ruki begged. Reita closed his eyes and pictured Kai begging instead. _‘Oh! Faster Reita!’_

The blonde squeezed the singer’s hips and started going faster, making the other scream with pleasure. The bed was squeaking, hitting the wall, their moans were loud and getting louder. Reita would slow down a few times for them to breath, but then get back on pace and continued to pound the young singer.

 _“S-so close!”_ Ruki shouted.

_“Me too!”_

_“Oh god! Yuu!”_ The red head moaned out as he shot his seeds all over the sheets.

 _“Fuck! Yutaka!”_ Reita moaned as came as well. He fell on top of the red head as they tried to catch their breathes. After a few intense minutes, the bassist raised up and carefully slipped out of the singer, making him whimper. The blonde pulled the condom off and wrapped it in a tissue then threw it on the floor. He laid down on his back and turned his head to find Ruki looking at him with a smile. The red head started giggling and Reita couldn’t help but laugh too.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            After the recording was done, Aoi went straight home, but Uruha stuck around for a little bit. He sighed looking up at the sky. He felt bad for having to cancel the date, but Kai needed help and the other three were way to…pissy to help out. He brought his attention back to his phone and started scrolling down his list to a certain number. He pressed call and took a deep breath before placing the phone to his ear. A few rings past.

“Hey Uru!”

“Uh…hey Saga.”

“So you’re going to bed so early? You must be tired.”

“Oh, no, I haven’t left yet. I called because um…” He mumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, Kai’s moving out tomorrow and he asked for my help. I know we had planned a date tomorrow, but do you think we could move it to another day?”

Saga sighed. “You don’t need to make excuses Uru. If you didn’t want to go out with me then you didn’t have too.”

“No, no. I do! I really do, but Kai…he and Reita aren’t on the best of terms. Ruki just got back from the hospital and Aoi hasn’t been looking so good. He needs help and I’m the only one that can. I’m really sorry Saga. We can still hang out tomorrow. You can come with me, I mean you don’t have to work, then we can go do whatever you want.” There was a moment of silence. Uruha felt his tears building up and he whimpered. “Saga.”

“Uh, Uru don’t cry. Please don’t cry, I’m not angry. I’ll go with you tomorrow. Ok baby, please don’t cry.”

The honey blonde sniffled. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to. I don’t mind helping out if I can spend more time with you.”

The guitarist blushed. “Thanks. W-why…um why don’t you come over to my place and stay the night. Tomorrow we can ride together to Kai’s, then go out. How does that sound?”

“Sounds great. Can I meet you in an hour?”

“Yeah. Have you ate?”

“Not yet.”

“Then I’ll cook you something. What would you like?”

“Mmm, surprise me.”

Uruha giggled. “Ok. I’ll see you in a little bit then.”

“Yeah. See you.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

            The honey blonde raced to get home and when he got there, he saw that he had ten minutes to spare, so he started going through his cabinets and fridge. Finding only a few ingredients for different meals. He sighed, but jumped when his door bell startled him.

“Already?” He asked looking at the clock. He took a deep breath and answered the door for Saga. He smiled as he stepped in and took his shoes off. Uruha took his bag away and sat it on the couch.

“Sorry about dinner. I didn’t think I was short on stuff. You don’t mind coming with me to the store do you?”

Saga raised eyebrow, not losing his smiled. “We can just order take out you know.”

The honey blonde looked at the floor. “I…I really wanted to. To say sorry for tomorrow.”

The bassist lifted the other’s head and rubbed his cheek. “I already said it was ok. You don’t have to try so hard.”

“I…”Uruha started crying and placed his head on the other’s shoulder. _“I…already messed up with the first person I loved. I’m scared…to be in a relationship. I want it to work. I do…but I’m not good at it. I’m not meant to have someone.”_

Saga hugged him and petted his back. “Shh. Everyone is meant to be with someone. You won’t run me off or anything. You don’t have to be good at it, just be yourself ok? Now let’s calm down and get you some food.”

The honey blonde sniffled and shook his head as he wiped the tears away. “Sorry…that I broke down like that.”

The brunette smiled. “It’s ok. Now how about we order a pizza and watch a movie or some tv?”

“Sounds good.”

            Almost an hour later, their pizza had arrived and they had found a movie to watch. They started poking each other with their pizzas and almost started a food fight, but controlled themselves. They were laughing as they wiped their faces clean. Saga looked over and got close to the honey blonde face.

“You missed a spot.” He whispered before licking Uruha’s cheek. They looked at each other for a moment, then closed their eyes as they pulled each other into a kiss. It was soft, sweet and long. They broke away and rubbed their foreheads together. They stared at each other for a few minutes.

“You have beautiful eyes.” Saga said.

Uruha blushed. “Thank you.”

The honey blonde leaned against him as they continued eating and watching the movie. After it was over, they changed into their night clothes and laid down in bed.

“So how early do we have to get up?” Saga asked.

“Hmm…I guess nine or ten. Kai will call us.”

“Alright. What’s for breakfast?”

Uruha giggled. “Whatever’s in my fridge.”

They laughed, then it was quiet for a few minutes.

“Hey Uru?”

“Hmm?”

“If we had like two more people here, we could be having a sleep over and telling ghost stories.”

“Saga?”

“What?”

“How old are you?”

“Five.”

Uruha snickered. “Well you better hurry and grow up. I really need your strong arms to hold me.”

The brunette turned over and scooted closer he could pull the other into a hug. “Like this?”

The honey blonde smiled and closed his eyes. “Exactly like this.”

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            Ruki stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and a towel wrapped around his head. He walked out to find Reita still in a towel drinking a soda at the table. He grabbed himself a can and sat down beside the blonde. He smiled at Reita and took a sip.

“I guess…” The red head started. “I guess what we wanted in the past, isn’t what we want now.”

“Yeah.” Reita smiled. “I’ve realized a few things. One of them is that, you’re no more than a friend to me now.”

“Same here. I guess we kind of got over each, but we had wanted to be together so bad that, we were blind to the love we had for someone else. I guess our crush on each other was no more than that.”

Reita bobbed his head. “Strange how this worked out. I thought for sure you would be the one for me, but everything changed almost two months ago. Now, all I think about is Kai.”

“Yeah. All I think about is Aoi.”

The blonde glared at the floor. “But he...”

“I know, but I know he regrets it. I’m going to give him a second chance. To make things right.”

“I just…I know we don’t love each other like that, but I still care about you. A lot. I don’t know. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

The singer laughed. “Maybe you think of me as a brother?”

“Maybe.”

“I won’t get hurt. I don’t think Aoi could do that to me.”

“I’ll always be here for you. If you need anything.”

Ruki smiled. “I know. One more thing. Do you think you could forgive him and give him a second chance.”

The other sighed. “I don’t know, but I guess, since you are, I should at least try to.”

“Thank you.”

They sat there sipping their drinks in a comfortable silence. Reita got up and went to his room to change into a white shirt and blue jeans. He walked back out and smiled at the red head playing with the cups.

“You want me to take you over to Aoi’s?”

Ruki looked at him in shock, but grinned. “Yes.”

 

~~Aoi apartment~~

 

            Reita parked outside the building and smiled at the other.

“Thanks.”

“Wait.” The blonde stopped him from getting out. “Text me if he answers or not. I’ll wait here until then. I know you probably don’t want to hear me say this, but if he does anything to you, call me ok.”

The red head rolled his eyes. “Ok, but I doubt he will. I’ll text you when I get up there.”

“Good night.”

“Night.” Ruki said getting out. He closed the door and waved before heading up the building. It took a few minutes to get up to Aoi’s apartment, but when he did, he knocked on the door and ringed the bell. He waited for a moment and was about to ring it again when he heard the door unlock. It opened to show a surprised Aoi.

“Uh…Ruki? Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

“Oh, uh… sure.” He moved away so the shorter could walk in. The red head quickly pulled out his phone and texted Reita, then turned his attention to the raven locking the door. “So why are you here?”

Ruki smiled as he stepped closer. He stood on his toes as he grabbed the guitarist’s head and pulled him down into a kiss. Aoi quickly pulled away with a confused expression.

“What about Reita?”

“We talked. We decided that we should just be friends. Nothing more.”

“So…”

“I’m giving you a second chance. So be smarter this time.”

Aoi smiled and pulled the shorter man into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

Ruki smiled. “I’ve missed you too.”

The raven pulled away, but lowered his head to kiss the shorter man. The red head kissed back and hugged him. They stayed there for a few minutes, only pulling away to breath, but finally they ended it and smiled.

“You look tired.” Ruki said, rubbing the raven’s cheek.

“I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Then you should lay down.”

“Will you join me?”

Ruki blushed. “Yes.”

“Thank you.” The raven said and led the way to the bedroom, but when they entered, Ruki stopped. Aoi felt fear surge through his body, thinking the singer was going to freak out again.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Uh…ok.” The raven mumbled.

“I…I-I had sex with Reita.”

Aoi felt his heart ache. “Oh.”

“I wanted you to hear it from me. Not somebody else. I don’t want you to get mad for something I did when…all this happened.”

The raven smiled. “I’ll listen to you. I’m learning to control my anger. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“I know. So shall we lay down?”

“Oh you need some pajamas.” Aoi said, walking over to his dresser.

“Oo, the big blue shirt. I like that one the most.”

The raven shook his head and dug for the shirt and handed it over. He turned around as Ruki changed into it.

“You can turn around now.”

He turned to see Ruki wearing the shirt, his boxers barely showing under it.

“Let’s get to sleep. You have recording tomorrow.” The raven said walking to the bed. He grabbed a pillow and started walking away.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking the couch.”

Ruki sighed. “Then I’ll have to sleep with you. You asked me to join you remember, besides it’s cold tonight. I guess it’s because winter’s coming soon. We should sleep together in bed, where it’s noce and warm.”

Aoi smiled and shook his head. He threw the pillow back on the bed and waited for the singer to lay down before he turned the lights off. He slipped under the covers and Ruki immediately snuggled up against him. He pulled the singer into a tight hug and snuggled against him. For the first time in the past few nights, he fell asleep with no problems.

            The raven woke up with Ruki in his arms and the singer hugging him back. He smiled and kissed the other’s forehead. Ruki stirred a little before opening his eyes and looking up to see the other.

He smiled. “Hey.”

“Morning.” Aoi whispered. He rubbed the singer’s head before placing another kiss on it. “You hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll make you something then.”

“Can I take a shower?”

“Of course.”

They got up, Ruki headed to the bathroom as Aoi walked towards the kitchen, but he stopped when he heard the bathroom door close. He took a deep breath before continuing to the kitchen. He got out a pan, a couple of plates, a bowl, syrup, and pancake mix. Before he started anything else though, he walked to the bathroom and placed his ear in the door. He smiled when he heard humming instead of crying. He knocked on the door before opening it.

“Ru?”

“Yeah?” The singer answered.

“Do you need anything?”

“Mmm, maybe.”

“What is it?”

The red head poked his head out from behind the curtain and smiled. “Come in.”

Aoi blushed, but stepped in and closed the door.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get undressed.”

The guitarist swallowed hard, but did as was told and walked to the shower, waiting for the other to say something. Ruki opened the curtain more and waved his hand for the raven to step in. The singer closed the curtain after he got in and then pressed up against him. Aoi hesitated, but wrapped his arms tightly around the other’s shoulders.

“I like this.” The red head muttered. “I feel so safe in your arms.”

The raven smiled and kissed Ruki’s head as he tightened the hug.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The blonde looked at his clock, then started pacing in his room again. He hadn’t slept all night. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened and about Kai. How they had a great time the other day, the kiss they shared, then last night when he imagined them having sex. He started thinking it was real and then he would reread the note Kai left behind. Telling him to forget about their kiss. That was so hard for him when every moment that’s what he was thinking about. He sighed, but grabbed his car keys, slipped his shoes on and headed out the door. He was going to tell him.

            The blonde pulled up to the complex and saw a moving truck in the parking lot. He knew that it was Kai’s, so he parked beside it. He took a deep breath before turning his car off and stepping out of it. He started walking and was immediately greeted by Uruha carrying a box out.

“Rei, what are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Kai.”

The honey blonde sighed. “He’s not in a normal mood. Maybe you should see him after he gets settled into his new place.”

“No. I’m speaking with him now.”

“Rei!”

The blonde ignored him and rushed to the stairs. He ran up to the drummer’s floor and was surprised to see Saga walking out of the apartment with a box, but he ignored the other bassist and walked into the apartment. He slipped his shoes off and looked around, but saw that the brunette wasn’t in the living room or kitchen. So he rushed to the bedroom, where he saw Kai taking his bed frame apart. The blonde swallowed hard.

“Kai?”

The drummer jolted, but slowly turned to find the other standing there. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“We need t talk.”

“I said sorry.” Kai mumbled, getting to his feet. He walked past the blonde, but Reita grabbed his arm.

“Kai, don’t. I’m sorry.”

The drummer winced and tears filled his eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything.”

 _“Then you shouldn’t have invited me over!”_ Kai cried.

“What?”

 _“You...”_ He bursted into tears.

“Hey, I’m not talking about that night. I loved that night. I was apologizing for all the shit I put you through. For hurting you. I never meant for that to happen.”

The brunette cried some more. _“Please. Just leave me alone!”_

“I can’t Kai! I love you!”

The drummer gasped, but he didn’t stop crying, no it got worse. _“Stop it! You’re with Ruki! Just leave me alone! Leave me alone!”_

Reita twisted him around, grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. The brunette tried to pull away, but he was too weak, so he bit the blonde’s lip. He pulled away in pain and Kai to the opportunity to pull away from the other’s grasp. The bassist reached his arm out and walked towards the drummer, but stopped when he was slapped in the face.

“Reita, you should leave.” Uruha said. He and Saga where standing in the door way and had seen Kai’s assault.

The blonde glared at his friend. “Stay out of this.”

“Leave!” Saga ordered.

Reita looked at him then at the weeping brunette and whimpered. “I…I just wanted to say sorry, but I guess it’s too late for that too.”

They looked at him with confused faces, but he let his head fall as he started walking to the door.

“Hurry home, Ruki might be wondering where you’re at.” The honey blonde mumbled, getting a heart aching laugh in return.

“Ruki’s with Aoi now.”

They all gasped as Reita made his way to the door.

 _“So you were just going to use me as his replacement again?”_ Anger filled Kai’s voice.

The blonde turned with a sad smile. “You were never a replacement to begin with. I never think about Ruki anymore, I think of…” He trailed off. “I’ll you alone now.”

 _“What?”_ Kai whined. _“What was you going to say?”_

Reita turned and looked at him in the eyes, blushing. “You.”

The brunette gasped, but that didn’t stop the other from turning to leave again.

 _“Rei!”_ He shouted running to him. The blonde turned only to get tackled to the ground. Kai hugged his neck and started crying as loud as he could.

_“Don’t leave!”_

Reita hugged him tightly. “I love you. I love you so much and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you.”

_“You mean it?”_

“I swear I do. Ruki and I are just friends now. We decided this.”

_“Don’t ever leave me Rei! I’m tired of being hurt! So don’t ever leave me, I love you! Don’t leave me again!”_

“I won’t.”

_“You swear?”_

“I swear, I will never hurt you or leave you again.”

Kai sniffled, nuzzling his head in the crook of Reita’s neck.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Uruha sat the last box down in the living room and wiped his forehead with his sleeve. “That’s all of them.”

“Alright. Thanks.” Kai said sitting in front of a box.

“We’ll be going now.” The honey blonde said.

“Be safe.” Reita said. The guitarist shook his head and grabbed Saga’s hand as they walked out of the apartment together. The blonde looked down to find the brunette opening a box. “Come on, let’s take a break.”

“I have to go through these. I don’t want them sitting here forever.”

“It’s fine, let’s get some lunch or lay down.”

Kai sighed. “I don’t want all of my stuff in your way. I need to get rid of some of it so we can have room.”

Reita rolled his eyes and pulled the drummer to his feet. “Don’t throw your things away. Let’s lay down for a bit and think of something later.”

“But—”

“But nothing, now let’s go.” The blonde said, dragging the other to his room. They laid down on the bed and Reita quickly pulled him into a loving hug. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Kai muttered.

“For forgiving me. And for saying yes to both.”

The brunette blushed and snuggled more into the other’s embrace.

 

~~Earlier~~

 

            “Better?” Reita asked, petting the drummers head. They were still laying in the floor and still holding each other as Kai was taking shaky breathes. The drummer nodded a little, but stayed still. Uruha walked in with two Styrofoam cups of tea he bought from the store down the road.

“Get him off the floor.”The honey blonde gently ordered. Reita shook his head and went move, but the brunette tightened his grip.

“Come on Kai. We don’t need you to catch a cold or anything.” The guitarist said.

“I won’t let you go.” The blonde whispered. Kai shook his head and allowed the bassist to pick him up. Reita carried him to the couch and sat down as Uruha placed the cups on the coffee table. He looked at the couple then at Saga.

“We’re going to the coffee shop. We’ll be back in about ten minutes.” The honey blonde said and pulled his boyfriend out of the apartment and closed the door. Reita petted the brunette’s head and kissed it.

“You ok?”

Kai didn’t make a sound, he just sat there.

“Kai?”

“I don’t want to be left alone again.” He whispered. “I don’t like it.”

“I won’t leave you.” Reita said, hugging him tighter.

“How can I trust you? You left me when you found out that Ruki loved you.”

“That was a mistake.”

“But you left me. How do I know if you’re just going to disappear or not when you’re done with me. Use me and leave me behind. _How do I know if I’m just a replacement or not?”_

“Fuck, Kai. Listen to me. I won’t do it again I swear. I was beyond stupid and ignorant. I see now that I love _you,_ not Ruki, _you_. We’ve given Uruha a second chance. Ruki’s giving Aoi a second chance. I’m just asking for mine. Will you give me a second chance?”

The brunette closed his eyes and breathed in Reita’s scent. He felt the muscles on the blonde’s arms, chest, and stomach. He felt so safe in this embrace. He loved the other’s scent, the other’s presence, and the other’s heart.

“Don’t you dare leave me again.” Kai muttered as he pulled away, just enough to look the other in the eyes. “I won’t be able to take it.”

“Is that…”

The brunette shook his head. “Yes, I’ll give you a second chance.”

Reita let out the breath he was unconsciously holding and smiled as he hugged the other tighter. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Kai hugged back and tried to hold back his tears, but they streamed down his face. They sat there for a few minutes before finally pulling away from each other.

“We should drink these.” Reita said, grabbing one of the teas. Kai took the other and they sipped them, but slowly put them down and laughed.

“Got cold.” The brunette mumbled.

The blonde smiled. “Have you signed the contract for your new apartment yet?”

“No, I was supposed today when I brought my stuff over.”

“Good. Don’t sign it.”

“Huh?” Kai looked at him confusingly.

“Move in with me.”

 

~~Back to present~~

 

            Kai smiled as he rubbed the blonde’s chest. “I’m glad you came back to me.” He waited for a response, but when he didn’t get one, he looked up to find Reita sound asleep. He looked at the bassist’s dark eyes and realized that the blonde was very tired. He smiled as laid his head on the other’s shoulder and drifted off to sleep.

 

~~At the recording studio.~~

 

            Aoi stood behind Sakai as Ruki was finishing up the last song and gave him a thumbs up when he sung the last note. The red head smiled in return and waited for Sakai to signal for him to leave the glass room. As soon as he walked out, he gave the raven a tight hug, then looked at their manager.

“Well, that’s all, we’re finished. I want you to rest Ruki. I’ll see you guys next week.”

“Alright. I will.” Ruki said smiling. They said their goodbyes then headed out.

“You want to get some ice cream?” Aoi asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“Not really.”

“Ok, um…what do you want to do then?”

“Hmm, let’s go to my place and rest. We can order some food and rent some movies.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Aoi said.

 

~~At Ruki’s ~~

 

            They had rented a few movies, bought some Chinese food, and settled down on the couch. They were watching a romantic movie first while they ate. Ruki snuggled up against the raven as the couple on the screen started making and soon started undressing each other.

“Um…Ru?”

“Yeah?”

“What kind of movie is this?”

The red head grabbed the box and started reading it over. “Well I just skimmed it and thought it was a romantic. It’s a porno.”

“Fail Ruki, fail.”

The singer pouted and Aoi laughed at his face, but then a woman’s moan caught their attention.

“It’s so fake.” Aoi giggled.

“Oh? How would you know?” The red head asked.

The guitarist’s face turned red. “Well…you know.”

“Not really, but…” Ruki swung his leg over the other’s lap and sat on it. “You can show me.”

Aoi’s eyes got wide. “Ar-are you sure about this?”

“Teach me how to moan Aoi.”

 The raven swallowed hard, but sat their food aside and pulled Ruki into a soft kiss. The vocalist licked the guitarist’s lips and slipped his tongue past them. Aoi moaned, but kissed back and started rubbing the red head’s sides. He slipped his hands under the singer’s shirt and raised it up, breaking their kiss to take it off. He attacked Ruki’s lips again and started feeling his body. The red head was clenching the raven’s hair, kissing him as passionately as possible. Aoi grabbed the singer’s sides and pushed him away only to throw him on the couch and climb over him. Ruki pulled the guitarist down into another kiss, then allowed the raven to pull away and kiss down his neck. Aoi sucked hard on the other’s neck, making sure to leave his mark before kissing a trail down to the nipple. The red head whimpered as the raven bit down on the nub. He covered his mouth with his hand and stared at the ceiling as he concentrated on the tongue and teeth clamping down on him. Aoi pulled off and licked the nub before looking up at his lover. He smiled as crawled up a little and removed the singer’s hand away.

“I want hear your voice.”

Ruki blushed, but smiled and shook his head yes. The guitarist smiled back and continued on with the other nipple. This time when he bit down, Ruki gasped and kept gasping as he felt the other’s tongue. Aoi pulled off and started making a trail of hickies down to the red head’s naval. The singer shivered as he felt the other’s plumped lips kissing down his abdomen. Aoi smiled from the reaction and sat up a little, caressing his finger on the same area. He looked at Ruki’s burning cheeks, his heaving chest, and his shaking legs.

“Are you nervous?”

The singer shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. I’ll be gentle.”

That made the younger blush more, but he smiled and waited for the raven to continue. Aoi slowly unbuckled the red head’s pants and tugged at them, moving them off inch by inch, teasing the other. Ruki giggled when they were finally off, but started squirming. The raven raised an eyebrow, but smiled as he opened the other’s legs showing the erection that had grown between them. He placed himself between the singer’s legs and went down to kiss the bulge in the red plaid boxers. Ruki moaned and spread his legs more. Aoi  grabbed the base with his fingers and gently pumped it as he sucked on the head through the boxers. The singer moaned and gripped the raven’s hair with one hand and the couch with the other. The raven removed himself, but slipped his hand inside the boxers and started massaging the red head’s member.

“Do you want to come now, or with me?” Aoi asked.

Ruki threw his flushed head to the side and moaned. “Now!”

The raven smiled and let go of the younger making him whimper. “Sorry, but I want to come with you.”

“There’s lube in my night stand. Get it.”

Aoi shook his head and jumped off the couch. He rushed to the bedroom, opened the nightstand and started going through it. He smiled when found the tube, but when he turned around, he was pushed onto the bed. Ruki smiled, as he climbed on top of the other, completely naked now. He went down and attacked the other’s lips again. He pulled away just as Aoi was slipping his tongue in, then started kissing down the raven’s neck. He raised up and moved the shirt up and off the guitarist before kissing down his chest. Aoi petted the other’s head as he watched Ruki kiss down his stomach. The singer looked at him with very seductive eyes as he began grinding his hips against Aoi’s. The raven rubbed up and down the singer’s thighs as he thrusted up against him. Ruki bit his lip as he slid himself off the bed and on to his knees. Aoi sat up and found the singer between his legs, unbuckling his pants. He looked up at the raven and smiled as he continued pulling the pants down. He blushed when he saw the bulge in the other’s boxers, but pulled them off too, making the erection spring up. He grabbed it with both hands and took the tip into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, making Aoi moan. He let one hand go and pumped the base with the other as he gently bobbed his head on the raven’s member. His other hand caressed Aoi’s inner thigh, making the raven tremble. The guitarist gasped and quickly pushed Ruki away.

“D-did I do something wrong?” The singer asked innocently.

“No, you almost made me come.”

They both smiled, but Aoi lifted Ruki up and laid him on the bed. The raven climbed over him and kissed his forehead, then his lips. He pulled off and got between the red head’s legs before studying him. How he loved the man beneath him. It made him go insane how they were separated and now they were about to become one. It made him so happy.

“Are you ready?”Aoi asked.

Ruki smiled and blushed as he shook his head yes. Aoi grabbed the lube and poured a bit on his fingers, then rubbed them against the red head’s entrance. The singer wanted to close his eyes, but he wanted to look Aoi in the eyes even more. The raven slipped two of his fingers in, making Ruki whimper and tremble.

“Relax. I’ll be gentle.” Aoi whispered and continued thrusting his fingers in. He rubbed around until Ruki gasped and thrusted up. He found the right spot. He started rubbing it, making Ruki clench the sheets as he moaned and squirmed from the pleasure. He spread his legs more and pushed against the raven’s fingers, wanting more. The guitarist smiled as he slowly removed his finger’s, making the other whimper. He grabbed the lube again and squirted a good amount to his hand, then covered his throbbing cock with it. He lifted Ruki’s hips and placed himself at the twitching hole.

“Breath, relax.” He whispered.

The red head took a deep breath and realized that his eyes were closed. He opened them to find Aoi waiting for permission to enter, so he shook his head with a smile. The raven pushed against it and slowly pushed himself inside the singer’s body. Ruki moaned out as he was slowly filled and ripped at the same time. Aoi waited a moment for the other to adjust before slowly pulling out. The red head whimpered, but wrapped his arms around the guitarist back and nodded for him to continue. The raven pulled all the way out, then pushed back in and repeated the process. They kissed, rubbed each other’s bodies, and moaned each other’s names. Aoi sat up and started to quicken his pace. Ruki moaned out, scratching the raven’s back over and over with each thrust. Then his eyes got wide as he yelped out and arched his back. Aoi smiled, knowing he stuck the right spot again. He thrusted harder hitting it again, making Ruki scream out in pleasure each time. The red head began pushing back against him, digging his nails more into the guitarist’s skin, and biting into the other’s neck. Aoi wrapped his arms around the younger’s body, hugging him, pulling him closer as he rubbed against him. Ruki pulled away from the raven’s neck and kissed his lips. The guitarist kissed back, but it didn’t last long before they started gasping for air. Aoi pushed the singer into the bed and grabbed the red head’s member, pumping it to his thrusts.

“ _Yuu!”_ Ruki screamed, releasing his warm milk onto the other’s stomach.

 _“Fuck!”_ Aoi yelped thrusting harder. _“So close.”_

“ _Inside.”_ The red head gasped. _“Cum inside me!”_

 _“Taka!”_ The raven moaned as he thrusted one last time, filling the singer, making him moan out. Aoi fell onto his lover as they gasped for air. Ruki rubbed the other’s back and smiled as he kissed the elder’s head.

“That was great.”

Aoi sat up and smiled at him. “You made it great.”

Ruki blushed and giggled.”Wanna go another round?”

The raven smiled and kissed the red head.

 

~~Earlier that day~~

 

            Uruha closed the Reita’s apartment door and took Saga’s hand as they walked down to the parking lot.

“What do you want to do?” The honey blonde asked.

Saga smiled and pulled him into a kiss. “Let’s… go out to eat, then how about we go to a club?”

Uruha smiled and shook his head. “Sounds great. Let me go home and get ready.”

“Alright, I’ll pick you up in an hour. Is that ok?”

“That’s great.”

Saga dropped him off at his apartment then headed home to get ready himself. Uruha got into some tight black pants, but they felt a little tighter than normal. He got on his scale and gasped. He had gained ten pounds, but he shook it off, pretending not to see it. He walked to his bedroom, grabbed a red tank top, and covered himself up. He dashed back to the bathroom, did his hair and makeup, then walked to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and chugged it down. He had read that drinking water before eating made you eat less, making you lose weight. He walked around trying to get use to his pants, but they were just too tight, so he ran to his room and changed into another pair of tight pants that were a little looser. As he was looking at himself in the mirror, his doorbell rung. He swallowed hard as he walked to the door, but he opened it, showing a nicely dressed Saga. The honey blonde blushed at the handsome man in front of him. The bassist was wearing slightly baggy pants, a fitted white shirt and white shoes.

“Ready?”

Uruha smiled and shook his head. He slipped his shoes on, locked his door and took Saga’s hand as they walked down to the parking lot.

            They headed to a popular restaurant and they instantly caught people’s attention when they walked in. A hostess popped in front of them with a huge smile. She led them to their table and started talking to Saga, completely ignoring Uruha. The honey blonde just kept his head down.

“Uru?”

The guitarist looked up and saw Saga staring him with concerned eyes. The hostess was gone now and they were alone.

“What?”

“Is there something wrong? You look upset.”

The honey blonde smiled. “It’s nothing. I was just thinking about um…a mistake I did during recording.”

Saga raised an eyebrow. “Ok.” He mumbled.

The waitress walked by with a huge smile. “What would you guys like to drink?”

“Hmm, coke.” The bassist said.

“Water.” Uruha muttered.

“Alright, I’ll be right back with that.”

They sat there quietly looking at the menu and she was soon back placing their glasses down. She took their orders then headed to the kitchen. Uruha stared out the window as Saga stared at his thumbs, playing with them. They barely noticed the two giggling girls walking to their table. They walked beside Saga and started talking to him. The bassist smiled and joked around with them for a few minutes. He turned and saw Uruha staring at him with hurt filled eyes, but the honey blonde looked away.

“Excuse me.” The waitress said, shooting daggers at the two girls. They quickly backed off as she poured more water into Uruha’s glass and gave Saga more coke. She smiled at the bassist. “Your food will be out soon.”

“Thanks.” The bassist said. She walked away and Saga turned to find the honey blonde finishing the glass of water she just poured him.

“Are you sure everything’s ok?”

The guitarist shook his head, but kept his eyes down.

“Did you not want to go out to eat or something?”

“No it’s fine. I like it.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.” Saga said a little harsher than intended. Uruha looked to the floor again, but before the bassist could say anything, the waitress came back with their food. She refilled Uruha’s glass then left them alone. They waited for each other to start, but Saga shook his head and started on his meal. Uruha ate quickly, he just wanted to get out of this awkward situation. Not even thinking, he chugged his water and continued eating as the two giggly girls came to talk to Saga some more. The honey blonde was so absorbed in watching the girls flirt with his date, that he almost didn’t realize the pain in his stomach. He took a few deep breathes as a cold sweat covered his face. He stumbled out of the booth and gripped his stomach as he made his way to the bathroom. He swung the stall open and collapsed to his knees just he began vomiting. His body shook as he tried to stand up, but he fell back to his knees. He took a few deep breathes, carefully stood up, flushed the toilet, and wiped his mouth off. He stumbled out of the stall and splashed his face with cool water before walking to the door. He opened it and saw the girls still there talking to his date. They were laughing, Saga was smiling…without him. Uruha studied the girls. They were young, skinny, and naturally beautiful. Neither were wearing makeup, their black hair were put up in ponytails, and they were both wearing short skirts with white tank tops. The honey blonde stepped back into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He grabbed a bunch of paper towels, soaked them with water, and started scrubbing the makeup off his face. He looked up at the mirror and saw eyeliner smeared all over his cheeks. He started crying as he continued wiping his face clean and when it was, it had turned red. He stood sideways and sucked in his stomach as much as he could, but let go when he needed air. He sucked in again and held it, then turned to face himself. He grabbed his stiff hair and pulled it back to see what it would look like in a ponytail. He whimpered and let out a cry as he covered his face with his hands.

_“Why am I so ugly?”_

            Saga looked over at the empty seat across from him and looked at the clock on the wall. The honey blonde had been gone for ten minutes. He was getting worried, so he stood up and walked past the girls, surprising them. He opened the bathroom door, but saw the restroom empty and was about to leave, but he heard a whimper. He walked in and saw the handicapped stall closed.

“Uru? Are you in there?”

The whimpering silenced. Saga tried to push the stall open, but it was locked, so he got on his hands and knees and crawled under it. He found the honey blonde curled into a ball crying beside the toilet.

“Uru, baby what’s wrong?” He asked kneeling in front of the guitarist. When the other didn’t answer, the brunette moved the honey blonde’s hands away from his face, showing the tears flowing down. He cupped Uruha’s cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumb, but more streamed down.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

 _“Why?”_ The honey blonde whimpered. _“Why am I so ugly?”_

“What? What are you talking about Uru? You’re not ugly, where did this come from?”

_“You wouldn’t even look at me. You’re more interested in those girls than me.”_

Saga smiled and got closer the guitarist’s face. “Are you jealous?”

Uruha’s face turned red as more tears flowed down. The bassist gently kissed the honey blonde’s trembling lips. He slipped his tongue past Uruha’s lips and started playing with the other’s tongue.

He slowly pulled away. “I could never be more interested in someone else. You’re the only one for me, you’re the only one I look at. I looked past them and was staring at you.”

Uruha let out another cry, but smiled. _“Really?”_

“Really.”

The honey blonde pulled him into a hug and cried more on his shoulder. Saga patted Uruha’s back and waited for him to calm down. They stood up together and hugged for a moment. The bassist rubbed the honey blonde’s cheek.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look without makeup on?”

Uruha blushed, but smiled. “Thank you.”

Saga smiled. “Well, this has been a strange night. Let’s skip the night club and get you home so you can rest.”

The honey blonde shook his head. “Um…”

“What?”

“Would…would you stay the night again?”

“Sure.”

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            Kai woke up, still laying on Reita’s chest and still in the blonde’s arms. He carefully sat up to find the other still sleeping, so he quietly got out of bed and walked out to the living room. It was supper time, so Kai decided to make the blonde and him some food. He walked to the kitchen and got out a few pans, couple of plates, some ingredients and started boiling some water. As he was preparing the meal, his phone on the table started ringing. He grabbed it, but didn’t recognize the number.

He flipped it open. “Hello?”

“Hello. Is Uke Yutaka there?”

“This is he.”

“This is Heart Clinic. Your STD test results have come in. You can come and pick them up tomorrow.”

“Ah, thanks…um…I-I’ll do that.”

“Ok we’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Thanks, bye.” He hung up and took a breath.

“Who was that?”

Kai’s breathing hitched and he turned to see a smiling Reita. The brunette smiled and walked into the kitchen.

“My mother. I was making sure I had this recipe right.”

“Oh?” The blonde said wrapping his arms around the drummer’s waist and kissing his neck. “I thought you made your own recipes.”

“I do. This one my mother taught me and I wanted you to try it.” Kai said, turning around. He hugged the blonde back and pulled him into kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Kai looked out the window to see the moon shining in the clear, starry night. He looked over at the blonde laying next to him. His face, his chest, and his arms glowed in the moon light. Kai wondered how the bassist could sleep after having a long nap and eating earlier. The brunette smiled as he moved some of the hair out of Reita’s face, making him stir. He opened his eyes and looked up at the drummer.

“Kai? What are you still doing up?”

The brunette shrugged his shoulders. “Can’t sleep I guess.”

Reita pulled the other down on his chest and hugged the drummer like a teddy bear. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I won’t leave you.”

Kai smiled and snuggled his head in the crook of the blonde’s neck. “Thank you.”  ‘But that’s not what’s bothering me. Rei, I’m scared. I’m so scared. I don’t want to know.’ The drummer breathed in the other’s scent, wrapping his arms around Reita’s neck and closing his eyes. “I love you.”

The blonde smiled. “I love you too. Go to sleep, you need your rest.”

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            Uruha woke up to the sun in his eyes and arms wrapped around his chest. He sat up, trying not wake the other up, but failed.

“Mmm…baby?” Saga mumbled, turning on his back.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

The bassist smiled. “I don’t mind.”

Uruha giggled and rubbed the other’s head. “Go back to sleep. I’m gonna go take a bath.”

“Bath as in bubble bath?”

“No, but that actually sounds really good right now.”

“Can I join you?” The bassist asked.

Uruha smiled. “Sure.”

 They got out of bed, grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom, where the honey blonde started the water. Saga squeezed a bunch of the bubble soap in it and they watched as the bubbles got bigger. The bassist splashed the water on the honey blonde, making him laugh and splash him back. Uruha grabbed a handful of suds and threw them at the brunette’s face. Saga laughed as he threw some back at the guitarist and splashed water on him. The honey blonde splashed him back and they laughed as they started slapping suds on each other’s body.

“Ok, ok.” The guitarist giggled.

The bassist smiled, rubbing his hand down Uruha’s neck, making him blush. The honey blonde turned his head and went to step to away, but he gasped when his foot slipped. He squeezed his eyes preparing for the impact of the floor, but instead, he felt an arm gently wrap around his shoulders. He opened his eyes and saw Saga’s face full of fear above him. He looked around and realized that the bassist had caught him. He got back to his feet and smiled as the brunette turned the water off.

“You ok?”

Uruha smiled. “Yes thank you.”

Saga smiled. “Good, let’s get in.”

They quickly got undressed and carefully stepped into the tub. Saga laid down first, then Uruha laid on top of him.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            _“Oh god! Yuu! More!”_ Ruki yelled. Aoi gripped the redhead’s cock and continued pounding inside the younger. The singer looked up from the counter he was laying on and into the mirror. He saw his red face covered sweat and his hair drenched. He gasped as felt the raven hit his prostate. He looked up at the guitarist in the mirror and saw Aoi’s face in complete pleasure.

 _“Oh! Yuu!”_ Ruki shouted, squirting his seeds all over the counter drawer.

“ _Fuck Ru! Taka!”_ Aoi shouted, filling the red head’s insides. He laid on the younger as they tried to catch their breathes.

“Aoi.”

“Hmm?”

“That was good.”

“You were good.” The raven said, making the other laugh. He sat up and slowly pulled out, making Ruki whimper. Aoi watched as semen oozed out the singer’s entrance and dripped down his thighs with a few droplets of blood.

“Are you ok? Was I too rough?”

Ruki smiled as he pushed himself up, but his shaking legs gave out. He pushed against the raven to keep his balance and looked the guitarist in the eyes. He rubbed Aoi’s cheek and pulled his head down closer.

“I’m fine and you were perfect.” He whispered before pulling the raven down into a kiss. Aoi rubbed his hands down the red head’s sides and down to his back side. Ruki moaned when he felt his plumped cheeks being squeezed. He moved one of his hands down and gripped the raven’s member, but the taller pulled away.

“Sorry Ru, but I’m spent.”

The vocalist smiled. “Let’s take a shower then.”

Aoi shook his head and made the other sit on the toilet as he started the water and got the towels out. He rubbed Ruki’s cheek before opening the curtain and stepping in. The red head followed and pressed up against the raven.

 Ruki smiled. “I’m glad we finally did it.”

Aoi hugged him and kissed his forehead. “I’m glad I didn’t hurt you.”

The singer giggled, wrapping his arms around the other. “I say we nap after this.”

The raven laughed. “Next time, we won’t do it all night.”

“But I liked it!”

“I know, but we’ll mess up our internal clock.”

“I don’t care.”

Aoi  loved how the singer pouted. “I don’t either, but think about how Kai will yell at us.”

Ruki sighed. “Just kiss me.”

The raven leaned over as the red head stretched and they pulled each other into a kiss.

 

~~At Reita’s and Kai’s~~

 

            The blonde felt a tickle sensation on his chest and he opened his eyes to find Kai still laying on him, rubbing his nipple. Reita giggled, catching the drummer’s attention.

“Oh, did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“No you didn’t.” He said, rubbing the brunette’s head. “Are you having fun though?”

“Your nipples get so hard when you sleep. Did you know that?”

“Nope.”

“You also snore and mumble in your sleep.” Kai said as he sat up and straddled the blonde. “It’s quite cute.”

“Don’t call me that!”Reita said, which made the brunette laugh.

“I’ll make breakfast.”

The brunette slid himself off and started walking to the door. The blonde licked his lips as he watched the other sway his hips in the small pair of boxers. His long back, his flawless skin, his beautiful body, all walking out the door. Reita jumped to his feet and followed him to the kitchen. The bassist leaned against the door frame as Kai pulled out some pans from one of his boxes and placed them on the stove, then started looking in the fridge. The blonde rubbed his chest, then down his stomach as he kept his eyes on one place. Kai was bent over, going through the fridge to find some eggs that he stored earlier. He gasped when he felt a hand rub up his leg. When he stood up straight, he was pressing against the blonde’s body and being pulled into a kiss. He moaned as he felt the other’s hand rub around his chest, but then the second hand slip into his boxers. He tried to pull his head away, but Reita was kissing too rough and then he felt the bassist’s finger going inside him.

“No!” Kai yelped as he pulled his head away and pushed the blonde away. He turned and wrapped his arms around himself as he shook.

“Kai.”The bassist whimpered. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“No.” The brunette said, turning around. “No, I-I’m sorry. I…you have to wash your hands!”

The drummer grabbed the Reita’s hands, pulled them under the sink and squirted soap all over them before turned the water on.

“Kai.”

“You can’t get sick. You can’t.”

“Kai.” The pulled his hands away and pulled the brunette into a hug. “You don’t even know if you’re sick or not. You’re going to be fine. I know you are.”

The drummer dug his nails into the blonde’s back and whimpered on Reita’s shoulder. Soon, they were on the floor, the bassist holding Kai as he cried.

 

~~Uruha’s apartment.~~

 

            The honey blonde snuggled more on the bassist, but Saga pulled his head up and into a kiss. The guitarist giggled as he kissed back and rubbed the brunette’s cheek. The bassist rubbed his hand down Uruha’s side, to his hip, then moved over and gripped the honey blonde’s member. Saga pulled away and pecked the guitarist’s lips.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Uruha blushed and moaned as the brunette started stroking his cock. Saga started rubbing himself against the honey blonde’s plumped cheeks and he bit down on the other’s neck. The guitarist swung his arm back and grabbed the brunette’s hair to pull him closer. He threw his head and moaned as he started heating up everywhere, especially where the other’s hand was at the moment.

“You like that?”

Uruha smiled, but moaned as he thrusted into the other’s hand.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Saga whispered, slipping his other hand under the honey blonde. Uruha suddenly gasped and moaned as the brunette pushed two fingers into his entrance. He rubbed his thumb over Uruha’s cockhead and squeezed it before he started stroking it again. The honey blonde moaned, thrusting his hips to pull away from the bassist’s fingers, but Saga shoved them in deeper, rubbing the spot that caused the reaction.

“Saga! Saga! I want it!” Uruha begged.

“Oh, but baby we just got started. I don’t know if I’m hard enough yet.”

“Then let me suck you. I-I’ll get you hard.”

The brunette giggled. “How bad do you want it?”

“God, Saga I want your cock inside me so bad. I want you pound the fuck out of my ass.”

“Hmm…I don’t know.”

“Please Saga!”

“I love how you beg.” The bassist smiled, shoving his fingers deeper into his lover. “It gets me excited. Beg me, tell me what you want.”

Uruha whimpered. “I-I want your thick cock inside me. I want it rip me, thrust in me harder than ever, oh Saga I want you. I want you to cum inside me. I want you to mark me, make me yours. Please Saga!”

The brunette smiled as he pulled his fingers out and placed his cock at the other’s entrance. The honey blonde began to push down on it, but Saga stopped him.

“Patients. Let me do all the work. I just want you to feel good. Now relax.”Those simple words from the bassist’s mouth is all it took for Uruha to calm down. He took a deep breath and let it out as he laid against the other’s body. Saga smiled and kissed the honey blonde’s neck as he slowly pushed his way into his boyfriend’s entrance. The guitarist moaned out and grabbed the brunette’s hand that was still gripping his cock. Saga started stroking it again as he pushed all the way into the other and bit down the honey blonde’s neck. Uruha moaned out and smiled as the brunette started slowly thrusting inside him. The guitarist grabbed Saga by the hair and pulled his head off only to kiss his lips. The brunette kissed back and stroked the blonde faster. Waves of water and bubbles started rising as the bassist got faster, rougher. They pulled away to breath and moan, which echoed off the bathroom walls, projecting them more. Loud gurgling noises sounded after Saga pulled the plug out with his foot. He continued thrusting, waiting for the water to go down a little before sliding on his back, grabbing the honey blonde’s legs with both hands and spreading them wide open. Uruha grabbed himself and jacked off as his lover thrusted him into the air. His right foot rubbed against the wall as his other dangled in the air, making realize that he couldn’t move, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if he was forever trapped in the hands of Saga and only Saga.

 _“Oh god! Saga there! Again!”_ Uruha cried out.

The brunette smiled and slowed his thrusts. “Where?”

 _“Saga, please, no more teasing!”_ He begged, so the other shot up again. “ _There! Right there!”_

The bassist continued thrusting, making sure to aim for that spot each time, making Uruha moan louder and beg harder. He dug his nails into the guitarist’s thighs, trying to spread them more, but Uruha yelped in pain, so he stopped stretching them.

 _“So close baby!”_ Saga shouted, his thrusts getting faster, but shorter. The honey blonde only whimpered and gasped for air as he stroked his cock harder.

 _“Fuck! Saga!”_ Uruha shouted, squirting his seeds onto his chest. He gasped for air as his body went limp against the bassist’s.

 _“Kou!”_ Saga yelled, thrusting one last time, filling the guitarist’s insides. He stayed there for a moment, then gasped for air as he allowed his body to collapse into the tub. They breathed for a few minutes before trying to sit up, then they looked at each other in the eyes, but then Saga started giggling.

“What?”

“You’re so messy.” The bassist whispered before licking up a droplet of semen that had landed on the honey blonde’s chin to his lips. Uruha blushed, but opened his mouth and allowed his lover to kiss him. They pulled each other’s heads closer as they kissed more. Finally, after several  minutes, they pulled away and this time, Uruha giggled.

“What?”

The honey blonde smiled. “We’re sitting in a bathtub full of suds.”

Saga shook his head as he laughed. “Ok and?”

“I think we should shower this time.”

The brunette watched as Uruha tried to stand up, but he winced and whimpered in pain. “Sorry, I guess I was too rough.”

The other smiled and blushed. “It’s ok. I liked it.”

“Let’s just fill it back up.”

The guitarist shook his head and watched as Saga plugged the drain, started the water, then laid back down. The honey blonde smiled as he pulled himself from between the brunette’s legs and onto his chest.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The drummer was sitting at the table as Reita wiped his tears away. “Better?”

Kai shook his head and gave a shy smile. “Thank you.”

The blonde rubbed his lover’s head. “That’s why I’m here.”

The brunette stood up and pulled the blonde into a tight hug, so Reita hugged back. They pulled away only to peck each other’s lips, but Kai wanted more, so he pushed more against the bassist’s lips. The blonde opened his mouth and slipped his tongue out to meet the drummer’s. After several intense minutes, they pulled apart and looked each other in the eyes.

Kai smiled. “I’ll make breakfast now.”

Reita smiled as he shook his head and let the brunette go. He watched Kai walk back into the kitchen and dig out the ingredients he needed, then he started walking in.

“May I help?”

Kai looked at him for a minute, then grinned and shook his head. “As long as you don’t burn the kitchen down again.”

“Hey, you know that was all Uruha’s fault.”

“Yeah, you forgetting to turn the stove off and sitting a plastic bowl on the burner is his fault.”

“He distracted me.”

“A Kit-Kat distracts you that much?”

The blonde’s face got red. “No.”

The drummer started laughing. “Fine, you can help, but have to keep your eyes on the food and not on my butt.”

Reita got even redder. “No promises.”

The other laughed some more before instructing the bassist on what to do and how to do it. The blonde concentrated on the eggs he was trying to make sunny side up, but as he was going to flip it, he punctured the yolk.

“We’re having scrambled.” He said scraping the pan. Kai could only laugh as he flipped the pancakes. The blonde looked over to find the brunette smiling and he felt his heart race.

‘His eyes look so…happy, glistening, and his smile is so much more softer than before. He looks…he looks…beautiful.’ Reita thought. Kai sniffed the air for a moment then turned to find Reita staring at him with a soft grin, but then he looked down.

“Um…Rei.”

“Hmm?”

“The eggs.”

Reita looked down to find that the eggs were turning black. “Ahh! No!”

The brunette sighed, but smiled as he watched the blonde scrape the pan, trying to salvage the non-burnt part, but he failed. “Wash the pan and try again.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” When Kai said that, the blonde sighed. “Their your eggs.”

Reita slouched his shoulders and pouted a bit, but he was determined to get this right. He washed the pan clean and grabbed some more eggs.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The red head woke up to find the sun shining in his face, but that’s not what woke him. He had the unfortunate urge to take a piss and knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold it, he carefully slipped out of bed, hoping not to wake the other. He walked down the hall to the bathroom, did his business and started washing his hands, but something caught his attention. He dried his hands and looked at himself in the mirror as he lifted his hair on the right side of his head. There he saw the cut from the fall, stitched up, still bruised a little, and swollen. He rubbed it a little, but flinched from the pain and then he looked at his casted wrist. He stepped back and took a good look at himself. Hickies covered his neck and chest, then he turned to find more on his back. He turned to the side and sucked in his stomach.

“You look fine.”

He gasped and turned to find Aoi leaning on the door frame, smiling at him. “I know.”

“Then what were you doing?”

Ruki giggled and blushed. “Just seeing what I would look like.”

“It would scare me if you got any skinnier, I mean it scares me that you’re already that tiny.” The raven blushed a little, but remained serious. “I don’t want you to get sick.”

The singer hugged the taller and smiled. “I won’t get skinnier, I promise, and I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“It’s ok, but if you’re done, I’d like to use the bathroom and lay back down.”

“No problem, just one condition.”

“What?”

Ruki gave a lustful smile as he walked out. “I want a back massage.”

The raven giggled. “Alright.”

“And I better get a happy ending!” The singer shouted, making Aoi roll his eyes, but giggle.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            A week has passed since the recording and the guys are coming back for their meeting. Ruki and Aoi dragged their feet as they walked in holding hands. The raven plopped down first and then the singer sat in his lap, cuddling against him. Kai looked at Reita who was laughing at the site. The brunette felt relief and a little guilty.

‘I should trust him. I know him better than that.’ The drummer thought.  He walked behind the blonde and wrapped his arms around the other’s chest. Reita smiled and turned his head to find Kai looking at him straight in the eyes.

“You guys look cute.”

All four looked at the doorway to find a smiling honey blonde.

“Hey Uru!” Ruki waved.

Uruha smiled and gave a little wave back as he stepped in. “How are you feeling?”

The singer smiled. “Great.”

“Good.”

They all looked at each other and smiled before they started laughing for no reason.

            After a few minutes, the calmed down and got seated, except for Kai.

“We’re having this meeting to decide whether or not we want to take a small break, or go ahead and start on the next single. So what do you guys want to do?”

They all looked at each other, but Aoi spoke up. “How long would we be taking a break?”

“No longer than two weeks.”

They looked at each other again and Ruki spoke. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but even if we take a break, I’ll be busy making lyrics and loving my man candy here.”

They had a small laugh. “Same here.” Aoi spoke up. “I’ll just be playing my guitar whenever Ru isn’t around or when he’s busy.”

“Me too.” Uruha started talking this time. “Alice Nine is working on their music now, so Saga will have less time to spend with me.”

Kai looked at Reita who smiled. “I’ll choose whatever you want.”

The drummer smiled. “It’s decided. We won’t take a break. We’ll meet back here tomorrow morning and start discussing each of our ideas and such. I guess we can all go home now and relax.”

“Why don’t we all go out for lunch?” The singer suggested. “We haven’t done that together in a while.”

“That’s a great idea Ru!” The honey blonde shouted.

“Sounds fun.” Reita said and Kai nodded. Aoi wrapped his arms around the vocalist and smiled as he shook his head.

“Um…”

“What is Uru?” Kai asked.

“Can Saga come?”

“Of course.”

 

~~The Restaurant~~

 

            The group was seated at a round table, got their drinks, and ordered their food. The couples were holding each other’s hands under the table as they talked about random things. They tried to stay away from recent events.

“No!” Uruha practically shouted. “Don’t pin your ADD on me.”

“It was your fault. You kept telling me to get my Kit-Kat or you would eat it.” Reita shot back.

“Just admit it. You can’t cook and you should stay out of the kitchen.”

“I can too cook. I learned how to cook eggs.”

Kai stuck out his tongue and pointed at his mouth pretending to puke.

“Hey!”

Everyone laughed, but the blonde just crossed his arms and scowled at the floor. The brunette leaned on Reita’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around the bassist’s arm.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

Before anyone of them could respond, their waiter was placing their plates down and refilling their glasses. After he left, the group stayed quiet as they started eating. It wasn’t until they were halfway done when Uruha saw their vocalist rubbing his head.

“You ok?” Aoi asked.

Ruki smiled and gave a nod. “A small headache, but I’ll be fine.”

“Here.” The honey blonde said standing up. He pulled a white bottle out of his pocket, dug two white pills out and handed them to the red head. “For migraines.”

“Thanks.” Ruki took them and then they all continued eating.

Reita sighed. “You guys want to go see a movie or rent some? We haven’t done that in a while.”

“Sounds fun.” Kai said.

“We can buy some beers, rent some movies like old times.” Uruha said and looked at Saga. “Only we’ll have an extra person.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Aoi said and looked at the singer. “ _If_ you’re up to it.”

Ruki smiled. “I’ll live. Who’s place will we be crashing at because I know Kai and Reita don’t have room for us to crash at their place. We’re not doing it at my place because the last time we did that, I had to get a new carpet, replace the sliding glass door and my kitchen, _Reita.”_

“It was Uru’s fault.” He grumbled.

“We can do it at my place.” Aoi said. “I don’t mind as long as you guys get the beers and the movies.”

“Is everyone fine with that?” Kai asked and everyone shook their heads. “Then it’s settled. We can all meet at Aoi’s an hour after we leave here.”

“I’ll buy the beers.” Ruki said.

“I’ll rent the movies.” The honey blonde said with a smile.

“Yay! We have a plan then.” The singer shouted, making everyone smile.

 

~~Afterwards at Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde opened his door and was followed by Saga, who closed the door.

“You have your bag in your car right?” Uruha asked.

“Yep.”

“I’ll put your toothbrush in my bag then.”

“Alright.” The bassist said, plopping himself on the couch. He turned the tv on as the honey blonde walked to the back to his room and started getting some clothes ready. He stuffed them into a bag, then walked to the bathroom and grabbed their toothbrushes, but before he went to leave he glanced at his scale. He sat the bag to the side and stepped on the scale and waited for the numbers to pop up. He sighed, wishing he never checked it, but he grabbed the bag and stepped out. He walked out to find Saga still gazing at the tv.

“Ready to go?”

The bassist looked over and shook his head as he turned the tv off.

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The couple walked in and saw their clothes sprawled over the living room, down the hall to their room.

“I guess we should clean up.” Aoi said taking his shirt off.

Ruki sighed. “Honestly, you can’t keep your clothes on while I’m around, can you?”

“Oo, baby you know you’re too hot for me.”

The red head giggled as he started picking up the clothes. “Why did you take your shirt off?”

“I don’t want it to smell from these dirty clothes rubbing on it.”

“They’re not that bad.”

“Hun.” Aoi giggled. “they’ve been laying there for almost the past week.”

The singer’s face got red. “Let’s just get them in the washer.”

The raven stopped him and took the clothes out of his hands. “I’ll clean up. Why don’t you take a shower before the other’s get here and use up all the hot water.”

“K.” Ruki mumbled. “Don’t forget to put the beers in the fridge.”

 

~~At Reita’s and Kai’s~~

 

            The blonde started going through his dresser as Kai went through one of his bags and pulled out some clothes.

“I’ll go grab our toothbrushes.” Reita said, walking out of the room. The drummer continued moving his clothes into a small bag, but he jumped when his phone startled him. He grabbed it and gulped at the number. It was the clinic again. He hit the silent button and shoved it back into his pocket then zipped the bigger bag up.

“I heard your phone ring.” The blonde said walking in. “Was it a wrong number?”

“I guess. They hung up before I could answer.”

Reita sensed a little shake in the other’s voice and it wasn’t the first time. It’s been the past few days after his phone rings, but the bassist didn’t want to upset the other by pushing himself on the brunette. He decided to wait until the other told him.

“You ready to go?” Kai asked.

The blonde smiled. “Let’s head out.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven placed the last of the clothes in his washer and started it. He walked out to the living room and started straightening up the table.

“It looks better.”

Aoi turned to find the red head drying his hair, wearing a long blue shirt that barely showed his pink boxers. “Is it ok?”

Ruki shook his head with a smiled as he sat on the couch. “Sit with me.”

The raven sat next to him, only to get cuddled by him. He hugged the singer and rubbed his back. “You wanted some alone time?”

“Just a little.”

They stayed there, quietly hugging each other enjoying the temporary peacefulness, which was soon broken when the raven’s door bell rung.

The singer sighed. “They’re here.”

Aoi giggled, but got up from the couch and was greeted by Uruha and Saga. They took their shoes off, sat their bags against the wall, and the honey blonde sat next to Ruki as the two boyfriends remained standing.

“I got a few different kinds.” The guitarist said holding up a plastic. “Two of them are comedies, one’s a horror, one’s an action and the last one is some American film about pirates!”

“Cool!” The singer shouted. “Does it have subtitles?”

“I think so.”

“Can we watch that one first?”

Aoi giggled, but before he could say anything, the doorbell rung again. He answered it, showing Reita and Kai waiting there.

“Well, come on in.”

They stepped in, took their shoes off, sat their bags by the others, and sat on the floor as Aoi pulled one of the twenty-four pack of beers out.

“Let’s get this party started!” Ruki shouted making everyone laugh.

            After a couple of hours, the group drunk the first pack of beer and was starting on the second twenty-four pack as they were watching the ending of the American film. Well…sort of watching. Reita was hugging Kai as they were making out on the floor. Uruha was sitting between Saga’s legs, letting the brunette suck on his neck. Ruki leaning against Aoi who had his arm around the younger man’s shoulder. The red head sighed, but an idea popped into his head. He started rubbing his hand on the raven’s thigh and moved it up closer. The guitarist bit his lip to hide the moan he was about to let out. The singer licked up the other’s neck and bit his ear. Aoi moved his hand around to grabbed the red head’s butt and he squeezed it.

“Meet me in the bedroom.” Ruki whispered, then pulled away and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

“You’re going to miss the good part!” Uruha complained, but the singer shrugged his shoulders and walked to the back. After a few minutes passed, Aoi stood up, catching the others’ attentions.

“Where are you going?”Saga asked

The raven smiled, “To change my clothes.”

They shrugged their shoulders and continued watching as their friend walk to his bedroom. When Aoi opened the door, he smiled at the site. Ruki was laying on the bed naked, jacking off, and thrusting his fingers inside himself. The raven licked his lips as he shut the door and started undressing. He climbed over his lover and stared at the redhead’s half closed eyes. Ruki shot up and kissed the guitarist, who gladly kissed back.

“Excited are we?”

“Yes!” The singer moaned.

Aoi smiled and pinched the other’s nipple.

 

~~Half an hour later~~

 

            “That was so cool!” Uruha shouted, pulling his neck away from Saga’s lips. Kai and Reita ended there make out session and looked at the tv to find the credits scrolling. Kai giggled to see Uruha so excited and he looked at the couch to ask the other two what they thought, but he found them missing.

“Where did they go?”

The honey blonde hummed for a second. “I don’t know, but they said would be right back like twenty minutes ago. I wonder what they’re doing.”

“Who knows?” Saga said, pulling the guitarist into his lap.

“Let’s find out!” Uruha said jumping to his feet, but he staggered a few feet before gaining his balance again.

Reita laughed. “I think you a little drunk Uru.”

“Says you! Now let’s go spy on them.”

They all laughed as they stood up, but then they heard a loud moan. They looked at each other, then poked their heads out from behind the wall to look down the hall at the bedroom door. The honey blonde giggled as he skipped down the hall.

“Uru!” They shouted in a whisper. They went after him, but then he opened the door just as they got to him. They stared at the two figures on the bed. They were on their sides, Aoi was holding one of Ruki’s legs in the air as he pounded inside the redhead. The singer had a hold of his member in one hand and the other was pulling the raven into a kiss. Saga grabbed the door and swung it shut, then glared at the honey blonde, who just giggled.

“I knew it!”

They all shook their heads and sighed.

 

~~The next morning~~

 

            Aoi and Ruki woke up naked in the bed, holding each other. They both sat up and rubbed their aching heads, but they got out of bed. They got dressed and leaned on each other as they walked out. They found Kai and Reita sleeping on the couch, but Saga and Uruha were nowhere to be seen. They shrugged their shoulders, but when Aoi walked into the kitchen, he saw the honey blonde holding his knees, sitting in the corner. The raven rushed and kneeled beside his friend.

“Hey, Uru, what’s wrong?”

The honey blonde looked up at the guitarist with puffy red eyes. _“Saga yelled at me last night. B-but you know what?”_

“What?” The raven asked gently.

 _“I don’t even remember why he did it.”_ He whimpered.

“Don’t cry Uru.” Ruki said. “It’ll be ok. Just talk to him after we get done today. They’re rehearsing today aren’t they?”

The guitarist shook his head. “ _O-ok.”_

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” The red head said, pulling Uruha up to his feet. He led the guitarist to the bathroom and started washing his face with a rag. Aoi walked out of the kitchen and looked around. Beer bottles were laying everywhere, some of the shoes were laying about, the tv was still on, and the DVDs were laying around it. The raven sighed as he walked back into the kitchen to grab a trash bag, then he started picking up the bottles.

He hit Kai’s arm. “Hey wake up. Help me clean.”

The drummer groaned, but opened his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven now—”

“Eleven! Shit!” The brunette yelled, jumping off his boyfriend. Reita grunted from the force and grabbed his stomach. Kai quickly pulled out some of his clothes and ran to the bathroom, kicking the other two out.

“What’s up with him?” Ruki asked.

“He has to meet with Sakai at eleven. He’s going to be late.” The blonde giggled.

“Well get up and help me clean.” The raven ordered. Reita got up to his feet, grabbed a few bottles and dumped them in the trash. Then suddenly, Kai ran back out, pulled some more clothes out of the bag and threw them at the bassist.

“Hurry up! You drove remember?”

“Sorry Aoi.” The blonde giggled.

“Get dressed!”

The blonde ran to the back as Uruha walked up to the other guitarist. “I’ll help you clean up.”

 

~~Later~~

 

            The place was clean, Uruha had left to the studio to talk to Saga before they started their meeting. Aoi and Ruki were taking a shower together, cleaning each other off. The raven was hugging the shorter man, kissing his neck, and rubbing his body.

“You have very smooth skin.”

The red head smiled. “Thank you.”

“And you fit perfectly in my arms. You look amazing with that sexy body of yours, that beautiful face, that breathtaking voice.”

Ruki giggled. “Why are you showering me with compliments?”

“Can’t I show how much I love you?”

The singer turned around and pressed against Aoi’s body. “Yes, and I love you too. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

The raven smiled and wrapped his arms around the younger.

 

~~At the studio.~~

 

            The honey blonde peeked in to see if Kai was still talking with Sakai or not, which he was. So Uruha walked down the hallway, but stopped and started thinking.

‘What do I say? I’m sorry for making you mad last night. I don’t know what I did, will you tell me? No, no, no. That won’t work um… What can I do to make up for last night? I’m really, very sorry. I didn’t mean to do whatever I did wrong? No. That won’t work.’

The honey blonde sighed and rubbed his head as he continued walking. Without even noticing, he walked past the Alice Nine studio and was now in the elevator. He went down to the first floor and walked out only to run into Reita.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey. What are you doing?”

“Was smoking. Kai called, his meeting is over and Aoi and Ruki are on their way. So we might as well go back up.”

The honey blonde shook his head. They headed back up to find their drummer writing on some papers, but Reita quickly walked up to him and hugged him from behind. The brunette giggled and turned his head to kiss the blonde. Uruha sighed and looked away.

 

~~Two hours later~~

 

            They discussed everything, shared their ideas and what each one wanted to do. It was easier than most of their meetings because they had each made a few songs in the past few weeks. They decided to come back in two days and share each of them, to see what they could fit together and such. Uruha watched as Aoi grabbed Ruki’s hand and lead him out, then Reita do the same for Kai. The honey blonde sighed as he stuffed his hands in both his pockets and walked out. As he slowly walked down the hall, he ran into a couple he didn’t expected.

“Oh, hey Hiroto, hey Byou.”

“Hey.” They both said.

“What are you doing? Is your practice over?”

The other guitarist smiled. “Yep, Byou’s taking me home.”

“Is Saga still in there?”

“He should be.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” Hiroto said and then walked off with his boyfriend. Uruha took another deep breath and proceeded to the Alice Nine studio. He saw that the door was open, so he stepped in, but when he looked up he gasped. Saga was sitting on the couch with Nao over him… _kissing_ him. Shou was on the other side off the room with his jaw was almost touching the floor. He looked over to find the honey blonde covering his mouth and tears going down his cheeks.

“Uruha.” The ashy blonde whimpered. Saga’s eyes got wide as he pulled away from the kiss and looked over at the door. The only thing he saw was the back of a honey blonde’s head. He pushed Nao out of the way and ran to the door to barely see Uruha pass through the closing elevator doors.

“Uru!” He yelled running down the hall.

 

~~At Reita’s~~

 

            The couple stepped into the apartment and put their bags down. They huffed as they both plopped onto the couch. They sat for a few minutes in silence before Kai sat up.

“I guess I’ll make some dinner.”

“I’ll help.”

The brunette smiled and they headed to the kitchen, avoiding boxes along the way. Kai started getting some things out of the fridge as the blonde grabbed a few papers off his table. He waited for the drummer to sit all the stuff down and turn the stove on.

“Hey, I want to show you something.” Reita spoke up.

“What?”

The blonde handed the papers over. “I found a few apartments we could move into. All of them have pretty big kitchens, living rooms and two bedrooms. We can fit all of our stuff in all of these places. I want you to choose one.”

“Oh, Rei.” Kai smiled and looked at them. “They look nice, but the prices.”

“I’ll pay for it all. I just want you to live with me and love it.”

The brunette smiled and hugged Reita. “Oh Rei, you know I wouldn’t allow that. I’ll definitely pay for half.”

“I know, but I’d still pay it all if you didn’t want to.”

Kai sniffled and hugged him tighter. “Thank you.”

“But,” The blonde said pulling away. “I think you’d like the flat the best.”

Kai smiled and rolled his eyes with a giggle. He sat the papers on the opposite counter of the stove. He started moving his ingredients as Reita got the bowls and plates they needed to use. The brunette got everything ready to use, but he stopped.

“I need use the bathroom first.”

“Alright.” Reita said. He watched as the other left and he walked out to sit at the kitchen table. As soon as he sat down though, he heard Kai’s cell phone going off on the counter. He listened a few times then decided to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, this is Heart Clinic, is this Uke Yutaka?”

“No, but I’m his roommate. I can take a message for him.”

“Well, we’ve been trying to get a hold of him for over a week now. His test results have came in. We talked to him once about it, but he never showed up. Could you please make sure he comes and gets them tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll make sure.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” The blonde closed the phone and sat it down on the counter.

“Let’s get started.” Kai said walking, but then the bassist shot a glare at the drummer. “What?”

“Why?” Reita huffed. _“You knew your test results were in! So why didn’t you go get them?”_

Kai’s face turned white. He saw the blonde holding his phone, his eyes got wide. “ _You answered it?”_

_“That’s not the point! Why haven’t you gone up there and got your test results, Kai?”_

The brunette remained silent, he was trying to keep his tears in.

Reita slammed his fist into the counter, making the other flinch. _“Damn it Kai, answer me!”_


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Reita’s foot was shaking, he kept his gaze out the window, watching the cars drive by. He occasionally looked over at the brunette beside him, who looked like a mess. The bassist squeezed his hand and smiled when Kai looked at him. He saw the fear in the drummer’s eyes. How much he wanted to comfort his lover, but they needed those test results. That’s why they were sitting in this empty clinic room, waiting to be called on. They hadn’t talked to each other since last night, but Reita still made him come, made him sign in, made him wait. A doctor stepped out of a room with a woman who was crying, holding a manila folder. She left the clinic as he walked behind the desk. Kai squeezed the blonde’s hand and whimpered, trying to hold in his tears. Finally the doctor walked out from behind the desk.

“Uke Yutaka?” He asked, looking at the couple. The brunette took a deep breath before standing up. “This way.”

Reita watched as his lover disappear behind the wooden door, then threw his head back into the large window and closed his eyes, praying.

 

~~The night before~~

 

            Reita slammed his fist into the counter. _“Damn it Kai, answer me!”_

The brunette jolted and turned away. He took a few breathes and started walking away, but the blonde stomped behind him. Kai grabbed a bag of his clothes and turned, but the bassist was standing in his way.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you.”

Reita yanked the bag away. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me why!”

Kai tried to push pass him, but the blonde grabbed the drummer’s shoulders and pushed him into the wall. “Leave me alone!”

“Tell me why you won’t go get them!” Reita whimpered. “ _why? Tell me!”_

The brunette looked away and closed his eyes.

_“Why?”_

Kai turned and glared at the blonde as tears flowed down his cheeks. _“Because I’m scared! I’m scared! How would you feel if you were going to be told that you have a deadly disease? That you might die before you’re forty.”_

“Yutaka.”

_“I’m scared.”_

The blonde released his grip, but wrapped his arms around the crying brunette. “Baby, you don’t have anything.”

_“H-how do you know?”_

“I…I can’t be sure, but the test is. I told you, I’ll be there for you throughout this. If you do or don’t have something, I’ll support you. I’ll stay with you and help you any way I can.”

 

~~Back to present.~~

 

            Reita was pacing around the room, scuffing his feet, rubbing his head, and glancing at the door. After a couple of hours of crying, the blonde finally convinced Kai into going. So now, he was here, pacing, sighing, checking the clock and wiping his sweat away for the past thirty minutes.

“Could you stop?”The nurse at the desk asked. Reita sighed as he walked back to the seat, but before he could sit down, he heard the heavy wooden door opened. He whipped around and saw the doctor walking out with Kai walking behind him with his head down. The blonde walked over and gripped his lover’s shoulders. The brunette looked up at him, then pushed his body against the bassist’s and hugged him. Reita hugged back tightly and kissed his cheek.

Kai gasped. “I’m ok. _I’m ok.”_

Reita let out a deep breath and pressed his head into the brunette’s shoulder so he could hide his tears. “I’m so happy.”

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde opened his eyes, his was head moving up and down. He looked around at his surroundings. He was in his bathroom, on something soft, his head was pounding, and his stomach was hurting. He pressed his hands on the cold, tile floor and lifted himself up with shaky arms. He looked down to find Saga, sleeping beneath him. He lowered himself back onto the bassist’s chest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

~~Yesterday.~~

 

            Saga ran back into the studio and knocked everything off the table, searching for his keys.

“Oh, come on baby.” Nao said rubbing the brunette’s shoulders. The bassist whipped around and punched the drummer in the face.

 _“You son of a bitch!”_ Saga yelled, getting on top of his friend. He raised his fists and started punching Nao.

 _“Saga!”_ Shou screamed grabbing the brunette’s arm. “Stop!”

The bassist pushed the ashy blonde back, making him fall on to the table.

“Stop!” Tora yelled pulling his friend off the drummer. “You made your point.”

The guitarist grabbed some keys on the floor and threw them at Saga, then walked over to his boyfriend curled up on the floor. He raised the singer into his arms and saw him crying.

“Where does it hurt?”

“My head.”

Tora moved the hair out of the ashy blonde’s face and kissed his forehead. “You’ll be okay.”

“Sorry Shou.” Saga muttered.

“Apologize later, you should be driving towards Uruha’s.” The guitarist snapped.

The bassist bobbed his head and ran out of the room. So many thoughts were going through his head.

‘How am I going to explain this? How am I going to tell you that Nao was my ex? That he was going to hurt you if I didn’t go back to him. God I fucked up.’ He ran out to his car and practically ran into the door trying to stop. He quickly got in and started the engine. He took off out of the parking lot, buckled his seat belt, and looked out for cops before running stop lights. He only stopped when he couldn’t get passed the cars at a stop.

            He finally made it to the complex about five minutes later and parked in the closest spot. He got out and ran inside, but went up the stairs instead of the elevator. When he made to the honey blonde’s floor, he ran down the hallway and slid to a stop at his door. He knocked on it only for it to open up.

“Uru?” He called out of breath. “Kouyou? Your door is open! Baby are you here? Baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t kiss him I swear. Kou?”

The brunette stepped in and saw the guitarist’s shoes laying on the floor as if they were kicked off as he was running. Saga slipped his shoes off and cautiously stepped in, still calling his lover’s name. He looked in the kitchen, then around the living room and then started walking towards the back. He saw the bathroom light on, the door cracked, and cries coming from it.

“Kouyou?” He called as he opened the door. He saw the honey blonde on his knees, crying in the corner of the wall and the bathtub. He kneeled beside his lover and rubbed the guitarist’s raw cheek.

Uruha looked up at him and wailed. _“Get out! I hate you! Get out!”_

“Baby please, listen to me. I did _not_ kiss him. He is my ex-boyfriend. He was threatening to hurt you.”

_“No! You’re a bastard! You were only using me for a good fucking! Nobody loves me! You tricked me. Just like I tricked Reita. Like I tricked Ruki and Aoi. I was waiting for this to happen. Waiting for karma to hit me.”_

“Baby, I did not use you. I love you. I’ve loved you for over three years. You’re the reason I broke up with Nao. So I could find my chance to be with you. To love you.”

The honey blonde shook his head. _“No! Nobody loves me.”_

“I love you! Why can’t you see that?” Saga asked, wiping the guitarist’s tears away.

“ _Then, why did you yell at me the other night?”_

The brunette sighed. “I didn’t mean to. I was just mad that you liked seeing other men do it.”

The honey blonde cocked his head. _“What?”_

“Just forget it. Forget that I yelled at you. I mean, you were drunk, of course you were going to act differently. All you need to know, is that I love you with all my heart.”

_“Really?”_

“Really.” Saga whispered before kissing the honey blonde’s trembling lips. Uruha gasped, but kissed back and went up to hug the brunette. The sound of a bottle hitting the ground caught the bassist’s attention, so he pulled away. He picked the empty bottle up and gasped.

“Uru, how many of these did you take?”

The honey blonde looked at it, then at the ground. “A-all of them.”

“Oh god!” Saga yelled. He stood up and grabbed the toothbrush on the sink. He grabbed Uruha’s arm and slid him to the toilet. “You have to puke them up!”

The brunette grabbed Uruha’s jaw and opened his mouth, then shoved the toothbrush in it. The honey blonde gagged and grabbed the bassist’s arm as tears streamed down. He pushed the arm out of the way and vomited in the toilet. Saga looked in and saw several white capsules. He shoved the toothbrush back into his lover’s mouth, making him puke more.

“N-no more. Please, no more.” Uruha gasped.

The brunette looked at his pale lover, but sighed. “One time, we have to get them all out.”

The guitarist shook his head and opened his mouth. Saga gently pushed it until the honey blonde gagged. Uruha puked up a little, but mostly pills came out. The honey blonde leaned on the bassist, who looked in the toilet, then flushed it.

“It looks like all of them. They were just dissolving, when did you take them?”

“Right before…you walked in.” Uruha mumbled. Saga looked down at the dazed guitarist. He laid on the floor and pulled the honey blonde on top of his chest.

“Do you forgive me?”

Uruha looked up at him.

“I love you Kouyou. Nao leaned over, he said to go back to him or he’ll find some way of hurting you. I told him that I would protect you and he’ll have to hurt me, before he hurts you. He walked to the door, looked and walked back in. He leaned over me and kissed me. When Shou said your name, I felt my heart stop. Everything was so blurry, I couldn’t breathe, and next thing I knew, Tora was pulling me off Nao. I was beating the shit out of him. I ran after you. Please, I’m so sorry.”

“You…love me?” The honey blonde whimpered.

“Of course I do.”

“Nobody…loves me.”

“I do.”

“You love me.”

“Yes.”

“Nobody…loves me…except you.”

 

~~Back to present~~

 

            Uruha opened his eyes, when he felt a hand rubbing his head. He looked up to see Saga looking up at the ceiling. The honey blonde slid himself up the brunette’s body so they could look at each other in the eyes.

“How are you feeling?” the bassist asked.

“Tired. Sick. My head hurts.”

Saga shook his head and sat up, still holding the honey blonde. “Let’s get you in bed.”

Uruha grumbled as his body was moved around, but before he realized it, Saga was carrying him down the hall. He was laid in his soft bed and the brunette covered him up.

“Lay with me.” The honey blonde mumbled. Saga gave a small smile and slipped under the covers where he pulled his boyfriend into a tight embrace.

 

~~Reita’s.~~

 

            The couple walked into the apartment and immediately, Reita slammed the brunette into the wall, making him drop the bag he was holding. Before Kai could blink, the blonde attacked his lips and pulled his jacket off. The drummer kissed back as he griped the other’s shoulder, jumped up and wrapped his legs around Reita’s waist. The bassist quickly gripped Kai’s thighs to hold him up, then slowly slid his hands up and gripped the brunette’s plumped cheeks. The drummer pulled away and gasped for air as he licked his lips.

“The bed room.”

Reita smiled. He continued kissing the brunette as he carefully carried him to the bedroom and kicked the door open. He stumbled, but caught them both and aimlessly walked around the room until they fell over the bed. The blonde pulled away from Kai’s lips and started kissing down his neck, making him moan. He bit down on the middle of the brunette’s neck and sucked down on it as his fingers rubbed the drummer’s nipple. Kai whimpered, but gripped the blonde hair. Reita sat up only to slip the brunette’s shirt up and throw it off onto the floor. He went down and attacked the drummer’s nipple with his teeth. The brunette moaned and bit his lip as he concentrated on Reita’s lips and fingers going down his stomach. The bassist kissed Kai’s navel, then slowly climbed back up, kissing up the brunette’s torso to his lips. Kai slid his hands under and up the blonde’s shirt, pulling it up as he rubbed his boyfriend’s muscles. Reita sat up and finished taking it off, then laid on top of the brunette’s naked body and started kissing him again. Kai rubbed his hands up the blonde’s sides, slowly feeling him up. He slid his hand down the bassist’s stomach, to the forming bulge in his pants and squeezed it, making Reita moan. The blonde pulled away from the kiss and looked down in his lover’s eyes.

“Impatient are we?”

“I’ve waited too long for this.” Kai moaned. “I want to feel you so badly.”

“Me too.”

“The condoms.”

Reita shook his head as he jumped out off the bed, then ran out the bedroom door to the living room. He looked around the living room and found the bag beside their shoes. He grabbed the condoms and lube out of it, then rushed back into his bedroom. As soon as he stepped in, he halted at the surprising scene and dropped the bottle of lube. Kai had rid himself of the rest of his clothes, he was laying on his back, legs spread open, one hand pumping his member and his other thrusting fingers into his entrance. His eyes were closed and he was biting his lips as he moaned. Reita picked up the bottle and walked to the bed, where he sat down, catching the other’s attention. Kai opened his eyes and gave a small smile as he got faster with his strokes.

“Getting started without me?”

 _“You…you were taking too long.”_ He whimpered. Reita sat the stuff on the pillow before standing up and removing the rest of his clothes, then he climbed onto the bed between Kai’s knees. He removed both the brunette’s hands and started stroking his smooth thigh. The blonde leaned over and pecked the drummer’s cock, before slowly licking it with the tip of his tongue. Kai shuttered and moaned as he clenched the blonde’s hair. Reita stroked the other’s thigh more as he licked up to the head and took it into his mouth. He moved his head around in a circular motion, his tongue swirled counterclockwise, and two of his fingers were soon pushing inside the brunette. The drummer moaned out, spreading his legs more and clenching the blonde hair tighter. The bassist gave a small smile before going down more on the delicious cock, sucking hard on it and tugging at it. Kai screamed out in pleasure. He started thrusting up into his lover’s mouth. Reita sucked the pre cum up before pulling off the member and looked down to find the brunette glaring at him. He smiled as he pulled his fingers out and thrusted them back in, making the drummer fall apart again.

 _“No more!”_ Kai begged. _“I want to feel you!”_

Reita bobbed his head as he slipped his fingers out and reached over for the condoms and lube. He ripped one of the packets open, sheathed his member, and squirted lube over it. He stroked himself, making sure he was completely covered, then squeezed some more onto his fingers and rubbed it against the brunette’s entrance. He slipped his fingers in making it nice and wet. Kai just laid there trying to control his breathing. Excitement had taken over his entire body and he wanted the other right then and there, but he knew he had to wait. He had to be patient and as soon as Reita slipped his fingers back in him, he giggled with excitement. The blonde raised an eyebrow as he removed his fingers.

“What?”

Kai lifted his head up with a huge smile on his face. “I’m so happy, that we’re finally doing this.”

Reita smiled as he crawled over the brunette, pushing him onto his back again. He rubbed his thumb over Kai’s chin, then to his lips. The blonde leaned down and captured those lips. The drummer wrapped his arms around his lover’s body as they deepened the kiss. He didn’t notice that one of Reita’s hands hand made it back down to place the member at his entrance. He moaned out through the kiss as he felt himself being penetrated. Reita grabbed the brunette’s member and started stroking it as he began to slowly thrust Kai’s backside. Their bodies rubbed against each other, their hands explored each other, their kisses got deeper. Kai finally pulled his head away and turned it to moan out as the slow, but hard thrusts continue. Reita sucked on the brunette’s neck, biting it and licking it. He squeezed his lover’s cock, teased it, scratched it, massaged it, enjoyed it. Kai finally gave an intense moan after a particular thrust, signaling that the blonde had found his spot. He stopped for a moment and let go of the brunette’s member. Kai looked up at him with worried eyes as he held himself up with his arms. He smiled as thrusted hard into the drummer, hitting the spot again and making his lover moan even louder. He continued to slowly thrust hard inside the brunette. Kai gripped Reita’s shoulder with one hand and gripped his own cock with his other. He forced his eyes to stay open as he watched the blonde watch him. He started digging his nails deep into his lover’s shoulders and gasping out as he stroked his cock faster. Reita dropped his head as his thrusts got a little faster.

 _“Close.”_ Kai whimpered. Reita grunted as he sat all the way up and grabbed the brunette’s waist as he started pounding again. _“Akira!”_

The blonde smiled as he watched short streams of cream shoot out of his lover’s member. He grunted and dropped his head as thrusted a few more times. He pulled out and pulled the condom off before he started stroking his cock. He gasped and leaned over the brunette’s body.

 _“Yutaka!”_ He yelped as he shot his seeds onto Kai’s chest and neck. He gasped as he fell onto the brunette’s body and they sat there trying to breath. Reita slid himself up so his head laid beside his lover’s, then moved his hand up Kai’s arm and gripped his hand. The drummer smiled as he closed his fingers around the blonde’s hand. Their hands seemed to fit each other so perfectly, as if they were meant to hold each other. Reita pecked Kai’s lips, but the brunette attacked his lover’s lips and slipped his tongue passed them. The bassist gladly kissed back, but it was quite sloppy. He pulled away and kissed the drummer’s nose.

“I’m glad you’re mine.” He whispered.

Kai smiled. “I’ll always be yours.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever hear of a love triangle, well this is a hell of a lot more complicated. The relationships withing the band, the problems, the drama. Can they handle it?

            Kai took a deep breath as he opened his eyes. He smiled as he sat up and stretched, but he gasped when he saw that he was alone. He rubbed the mattress and whimpered, then he jumped out of the bed.

“No.” He whispered. He swung the door open and started running, but he didn’t get far before colliding into something big. Reita grunted and hugged the brunette as they fell back onto the floor.

“Kai, what the hell?” the blonde grumbled. The brunette sat up and looked down at the bassist below him. He rubbed Reita’s face and laid back on top of him.

“I-I thought you left me.”

“What?”

“You were gone.”

The blonde sighed, but rubbed his lover’s head. “Kai, I just went to the bathroom. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The brunette snuggled his head more in the crook of his lovers neck. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so paranoid.”

“It’s ok. Come on, we have a meeting today.”

“Meh!”

Reita laughed, but pulled both to their feet and kissed the drummer’s forehead. “Let’s take a shower.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            Ruki raised his leg out of the water and rubbed it with a wash cloth, then dropped it back down into the bubbly water. He rubbed his chest, neck and shoulders with the rag, all while humming. A knock on the door caught his attention.

“Come in.”

Aoi opened the door and smiled as he sat the other’s clothes on the counter. “Breakfast is done.”

“Yay. Help me out?” Ruki asked, pouting his lips as he reached his hand out. The raven walked over and grabbed his lover’s hand, but before he could pull him up, the red put all his body weight into pulling the guitarist down. Aoi yelped as he lost his balance and fell on top of the singer, making the water splash everywhere. Ruki laughed as his lover sat up with bubbles on top of his head.

“Not funny.”

“Very funny.” The singer giggled. He rubbed Aoi’s cheek and pulled him into gentle kiss, but the raven pushed to deepen it. He rubbed his hands down Ruki’s stomach, but the red head pushed him up. They both sat up and started kissing more. Aoi rubbed his thumbs over the singer’s nipples. Ruki pulled away with a smile, but before the other could react, the red head was already stepping out of the tub and wrapping a towel around his waist.

“Breakfast is going to get cold if you don’t hurry.” He said walking to the door.

“Tease.”

“No, this is a tease.” Ruki said loosening the towel so his ass barely showed. “You might want to take your clothes off, you don’t want to get water everywhere.”

Aoi smiled as he jumped out of the tub and got out of his wet clothes. He wrapped his waist with a towel and ran out to the dining room where he found his lover swaying his hips at the table. Aoi grabbed the redhead’s waist and pressed up against him. Ruki moaned as he pushed against the raven.

“About time. I was…getting cold.” The singer smiled as he turned around. Aoi leaned down and kissed his lover’s lips. Ruki pulled away only to hop onto the table and then he pulled the raven back into a rougher kiss. Aoi leaned over, making them fall onto the table, but that didn’t stop their kisses. The raven’s hands ventured up the singer’s sides as Ruki wiggled his legs and soon, his towel fell on the floor. The guitarist started kissing down the redhead’s neck, making him moan. Before he could make it down the singer’s chest, his phone started ringing.

“Agh!” they shouted. Aoi got up and grabbed his phone off the counter. “Yeah?”

“You’re late.” Kai said.

“Yeah, yeah.” The raven looked over to find Ruki with his legs spread open, he was stroking himself and thrusting two of his fingers inside himself.  “We’re on our way.”

He hung up and licked his lips as he walked to the table.

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde was curled up into a ball in his blankets.

“Baby, it’s time to wake up.”

Uruha groaned. “Don’t wanna.”

Saga leaned over and kissed the guitarist’s neck, then the back of his head. “Kai will yell at you if you don’t.”

“I don’t care.”

The brunette giggled as he climbed over his lover. “Come one baby, you have to get up. I’ll make you breakfast.”

Uruha sighed as he threw the blanket off and pouted at the bassist. “I want pancakes.”

“I’ll make some and in the mean time, you’ll get dressed.”

The honey blonde shook his head and watched as Saga left the room, then he got up. He pulled out some pants and a blue shirt, then changed. He walked out to find his lover cooking at the stove and he walked into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Saga’s chest and leaned on him. The brunette looked up and took a deep breath.

“So…are we…”

Uruha tightened his grip, but let go and turned the brunette around. He rubbed Saga’s cheek and pulled him down into a soft, yet passionate kiss. The brunette dropped the spatula and tightly hugged the honey blonde as he kissed back. After a few minutes, Uruha slowly pulled away.

“Don’t ever leave me. Or hurt me.”

Saga rubbed the guitarist’s cheek. “I will never hurt you again and I will never leave you.”

 

~~The studio.~~

 

            Kai sighed as he looked at the time again, which made the blonde laugh. He looked over Reita, who was sitting on the couch. He walked over and straddled his boyfriend.

“What’s so funny?” Kai pouted.

Reita wrapped his arms around his lover. “You waiting impatiently for them to get here.”

“They’re late. I want to get this over with and get to watching tv with you.”

The blonde smiled. “that’ll have to wait. Have you decided which apartment you want to move into?”

Kai smiled. “You were right, I really like the flat. We should check it out.”

“I’m glad. It’s walls are soundproof.”

The brunette blushed as he hit the bassist upside the head. “Pervert.”

Laughing caught their attention and they turned to see Uruha standing there at the door. He walked in and sat beside his friends. “Where are the other two?”

They shrugged their shoulders. “They need to hurry up.” Kai said.

“Call them.” Reita said.

The honey blonde took out his phone, scrolled through his contacts and hit dial. Loud ringing came from the phone, which made the other two look at him.

“I put it on speaker so we could yell at them all together.”

“Good idea.” The bassist giggled.

The ringing continued and they were ready to shout when they heard the phone being answered.

 _“Oh god Yuu! Ah! Harder!”_ Ruki shouted on the phone. The sound wood creaking was loud along with the two men panting and moaning. Uruha slammed the phone shut.

“I don’t think they meant to answer.” The honey blonde whispered.

“They’re dead when they get here.” Kai grumbled.

 

~~An hour later~~

 

            “Rummy!” Reita shouted hitting the stack of cards in the middle of the table.

“Eh? How?” Kai asked.

“Seven of spades, Uruha had a spade straight and seven goes to it.”

“Ahh man.”

Reita put down that card then his last card in the stack. “I win.”

“This round.” Uruha said.

“Hey, sorry we’re late.” Aoi said walking in with Ruki behind him.

Kai shouted as he threw a hand full of paper balls at the couple.

“Why?” Ruki asked after the attack was over.

“You’re an hour and a half late!”

“Sorry.” The redhead whined.

“Let’s get started!”

 

~~Two hours later.~~

 

            They went over some songs, lyrics and placed a few together. When they liked one, they kept it and decided on that one to practice. They did the same and decided on two more songs after that. Afterwards, they collapsed on the couch, Ruki in Aoi’s lap, Kai on Reita’s lap, and Uruha on the last cushion. The raven was licking the singer’s neck and kissing it. Reita was whispering dirty ideas in the brunette’s ear. Uruha sighed, catching their attentions.

“What’s wrong Uru?” The bassist asked.

“Just a little lonely.”

“Sorry.” Ruki said getting off his boyfriend’s lap. “Where’s Saga?”

“Home.”

“Call and tell him to come pick you up. We’re pretty much done, aren’t we?”

“Yeah.” Kai said. “We’ll come back tomorrow and get started on practicing the songs. Until then, we can rest.”

Uruha smiled as he stood up and walked out as he dialed his phone.

“My place.” Aoi whispered in Ruki’s ear.

“Oo,” the singer giggled. “Let’s get started.”

“La, la, la.” Kai shouted.

The singer giggled as he lead his lover out the room. The drummer sighed as he leaned on the bassist’s shoulder.

“Want to go home, watch some movies? We can check out the flat another day.”

Kai smiled. “Sounds good.”

They got up and grabbed their things, then started walking out the door, but a woman stopped in front of them.

“Hi.” She said with a smile. “is one of you Kai?”

They looked at each other then at here. “Yeah, I am. Who are you?”

She sighed. “I’m Melody. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Well, you know Miyavi, don’t you?”

The drummer swallowed hard. “Yes.”

“Good, I need your help.”

 

~~At the Café.~~

 

            The three of them sat down at a booth after getting some drinks. After a few minutes of silence, Kai spoke up. “So, what do you need help with?”

She smiled. “Well, you see. I met Miyavi a few months ago. Well, we decided to go out for drinks then one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. A month ago I went to the doctors and I found out I was pregnant. The idiot didn’t use a condom. Well now we are going to get married, but I don’t know a damn thing about him. He mentioned you a few times, I figured you could tell me about him.”

She looked up to find both men staring at her in shock with their jaws dropped.

“Well…”Kai started. “He’s…”

“He’s having a kid.” Reita whispered. “I feel sorry that baby.”

“Is he bad?” She asked.

“He’s…weird.” Kai said. “You have to be strict with him.”

“Oh I plan on it. I’m not some nice woman, I am actually bitch.”

The brunette smiled. “You’re going to be a good friend.”

 

~~Few months later~~

 

            Kai woke up to the sun shining in his face. He stretched out on the large square bed, then got up. He limped to his boxers laying on the floor and slipped them on before heading out the room. He walked down the hall to the living room of the flat and he smiled when he saw Reita moving around in the kitchen. He limped in and saw the blonde placing some eggs on a plate. He turned and saw Kai standing there, so he walked over and gave his lover a hug.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

“I made eggs and bacon. I didn’t burn them this time.”

Kai smiled as he took his plate. “Good job.”

“How’s your uh…butt?”

“Hurts a little, but it’s worth it.”

They sat down at the table and smiled at each other. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, we don’t have to use condoms anymore. I’m happy.”

“Me too.”

 

~~At Aoi’s~~

 

            The raven sat the towels on the counter and looked at the blonde sitting on the bathtub, filling it up with warm water.

“Ruki.”

“Hmm?” the singer turned and smiled at the raven.

“I like your new hairdo. Makes you look more…fragile.”

The blonde glared and huffed.

Aoi giggled as he walked over and petted his lovers head. “It makes me feel more protective of you.”

Ruki kept his head turned, but he smiled as he blushed. He stood up and undressed, then helped the raven get out of his clothes. They stepped into the tub together and laid down before turning the faucet off.

“Are you happy living here?” Aoi asked after ten minutes.

Ruki smiled. “Of course.”

“I want you to be honest. Are you happy being with me?”

The singer sat up and looked at his lover funny. “Yes. Why are you asking me this?”

“Hang on a second.” The raven said stepping out of the tub. He walked out, but returned a few minutes later with a velvet box. “I don’t want you to put it on until after you get out of the water.”

Ruki sat up and watched as Aoi opened the box, showing a silver ring with two small white diamonds and a big blue diamond in between them.

The singer gasped. “Aoi.”

“I know we can’t get married, but I want everyone to know that you’re taken. That you’re mine.”

The blonde smiled and rubbed his lover’s cheek. “I love it. Thank you.”

“I knew you would.”

Ruki smiled. “Now I have a present for you.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Well, you have to get back in here to get it.”

The guitarist licked his lips and sat the box on the sink before stepping back into the tub.

 

~~At Uruha’s~~

 

            The honey blonde woke up in a pair of familiar arms. He smiled as he carefully sat up in bed. He leaned on the head board as he petted his lover’s cheek. Saga stirred a little and opened his eyes. He looked up to find a smiling guitarist looking down at him.

“Morning.”

“Morning. Do you want something to eat?”

“Later.” The brunette whispered. He reached up and pulled Uruha down on top of him. “You are so beautiful.”

The honey blonde kissed the bassist’s cheek and raised up to straddle him. Saga licked his lips looking at the guitarist’s naked body. “Having dirty thoughts are we?”

The brunette smiled. “Very.”

“Well, you’ll have to go make some food first. I need some energy.”

Saga smiled and shook his head as got out from underneath his lover and walked out. Uruha sighed as he got out and slipped on some boxers, then he looked at himself in the mirror. He lost a lot of weight, mostly from vigorous love making almost every night. He smiled as he walked out to the kitchen where the brunette was started on mixing the pancake powder. The honey blonde leaned on the wall and crossed his arms as he looked at the ground.

“When are you going to move in?”

Saga stopped, then turned and faced his lover. Uruha looked up at him with a pouty expression, which always gets to the bassist. “I’m still packing my stuff. I should be able start bringing it in a few days.”

The honey blonde smiled.

 

~~At the studio~~

 

            It was a usual day, they practice a bit, discussed recording dates, and then just talked. Ruki was showing his ring off, Uruha told them that Saga was moving in and Kai proudly announced that Reita finally learned to cook something. Soon, Saga joined in the conversation.

“Why don’t we all have a party?” Kai said. “It’s been a while.”

They all looked at each other and smiled. Then Ruki spoke up. “Sounds like fun.”

“We can have it our place, if that’s ok.” Reita said looking at the drummer.

“That’s fine.”

“I’ll buy the beer.” Uruha said.

“I got the movies.” Aoi said.

“And I’ll buy the lube!” Ruki shouted, making the group laugh. They all looked at each and smiled. They felt happy, complete. The family was back together again and they wouldn’t want it any other way.


End file.
